Right ho then … Monaco. It not like any other circuit on the tour this place. F-ducks and fidderly flaps do not help you go fast round this place. No it’s the size of your balls and how lucky you are. Brake an inch late, turn in a degree too much or blink at the wrong moment and the next thing you’re doing is explaining to the team principle why he shouldn’t fire your ass. Lady luck and Monaco have a great time together. They’re like two giddy teenage girls let loose with a platinum credit card. Out late at night partying hard till dad gets the bill and wants some answers.
All the best drivers will be flirting with the lady in her back yard. You have to if you want to go fast, because whilst it’s not the fastest race on the calendar, it’s the longest, tightest strip of tarmac the boys will see this year. Triple Armco funnels the drivers round the streets, inches from the front doors of the rich and famous. And that’s where the drivers have to be, taking risks to pass the tail end charlies and the pay per drive drivers out there. The great and the good will muscles their cars past the slower boys fond that extra inch for lady luck and take her to heaven and back. That’s what she likes, not drivers that pay her lip service and fail to deliver, she likes them brave.
Driver to watch this weekend
Of late Lady luck has not been smiling on young Mr Hamilton. Second place stolen from him by a broken wheel rim in Spain, whilst Webber forgot to watch the road in Australia. He needs to get a good result o the circuit he loves to get his season on track. He’s starting to look very number two’ish at McLaren which is not the script the pundits had written for this year.
Vettel has to win here if he want to show that he does have what it takes. The feeling that he can’t muscle his way past drivers in similar cars is starting to take hold in the collective paddock consciousness. There’s only so long Bernie can keep bigging him up, whilst he’s not delivering the world championship Bernie thinks he’s capable off. Yes the car hasn’t delivered. But is that because he’s spanking it, or has Lady luck had her fill of smug Germans waving their finger in the air.
Talking of smug Germans, Mickey still isn’t delivering. I didn’t watch the race in Spain so I don’t know if he was brilliant or Button was rubbish. Button didn’t have a display apparently so had to change gear by feel and listening to the engine. Not an easy thing in a modern F1 car I’m told. So he was struggling, but was supposed to have a faster car than Mickey. Mercedes are going back to the short wheel base configuration for Monaca, a set up that Mickey didn’t like, but the short comings of the car could be overcome round Monaco, If Mickey has been paying his dues to the Lady of course. It’s been a long time since he was racing at Monaco, where you need to be bang on the top of your game, somewhere that Mickey most certainly isn’t right now.
Kubica, an odd choice you say, but he’s been doing really well with a car that shouldn’t be up there. Yet there he is, and if Ferrari are waving a blank cheque under his nose for 2011, then where better to show you have pasta sauce in the blood than at the glamour Capital of Monaco.
Massa, is either all over the place or gets a podium here. He needs to start delivering, Alonso has got the momentum, and he’s on a roll. Massa never goes well when he thinks he’s about to get fired. He has to feel the love, and that’s not going to be happening if Kubica continues to deliver and Alonso steam rollers him. I don’t think the aggression is there anymore. He’s still fast, but he’s not as sharp as before the accident. I think the fires may be burning low in his soul. A finish out side the top 10 here could see the start of the “fire his ass” brigade back home in Italy.
The Tail end Charlies. These boys are going to have a fun time here, the bigger boys haven’t got their way on a having the smaller boys have their own qualifying session before the rich boys have finished their morning cappuccino. So the drivers in the slower cars will be there with just as much chance as the quick boys. Monaco always throws up the odd result and I’d place money on at least on of the Lotus cars making the top ten. But then I’m sober and having to write this very quickly during lunch. So I’ve not really thought that through too much.
So those are the stories to watch this weekend. I think Button, and Alonso are the drivers to put your money on for the podium. They’re all pumped up right now and getting the score board to tick over whilst not being the fastest driver out there. I just can’t see Webber delivering back to back results. And Vettel doesn’t excite me I’m afraid. But you never know, it’s all about keeping Lady lucks glass of Moet topped up and, making sure you don’t get her falling down drunk before the Grimaldies have handed the big trophy over.