So all in all, it’s the same as last year ... but different.

I always like this bit of the season, winter testing has finished, the development paths are in full swing and the teams are packing their bags for Australia. It’s all shiny and new, freshly scented with hope and expectation.

 The new boys have been shown the ropes and have a feel for what’s expected of them this year, whilst the old hands have kicked the tyres and cast a wary eye over their PR commitments, All the teams are complaining about not having enough time to sort this or that problem, as finance managers fly from point to point trying to drum up that last Euro and Chinese Yuan.  The long dark winter months are over and with the brightening spring days the sound of Redbull complaining about their Renault engines can be heard gently wafting through the golden haze. 

The suppliers are in  .. lets go!

Welcome to the 2015 Formula One season.

So how has the winter series gone this year then?

Well mostly it’s a case of where they left off in 2014; The rich boys of the upper 6^th are swanking around in their new overalls and freshly built cars, at the same time as the oiks from the lower 4^th are sewing on new name patches to old race suits and fixing the worst bits of last year’s car. The potential divide between rich and poor could possibly be the starkest we’ve ever seen in F1 history.

 Caterham have defiantly gone and will selling off what remains of the assets in a few weeks time. No one feels like bailing them out after all.

But Marussia have changed their name to Manor Marussia F1 and are planning to raise, Lazarus like, to join the season with an updated 2014 car for round three in Bahrain. 

The mid table boys have been trying to look as professional as possible all winter, whilst not quite at the level of standing on the street corner next to a sign saying “looking for a good time ?” there has been a lot of parading around in short skirts and casting flirtatious looks at any passing trade. All the Russian sugar daddies suddenly being persona non grata on European soil means an unseemly scramble for Chinese and Middle Eastern playboys.

Lotus have switched engine and caused an internet storm by hiring a girl. Force India had a whip round of the staff and found the money to pay the suppliers to finish the car before the first race. Sauber have built a car that is so boring and bland is makes grey paint look even more exciting than it did last year. And Torro Rosso are officially a crèche service for Redbull now.   

At the front of the grid Ferrari have found some speed, Redbull have whined about Renault a lot and McLaren have had nothing but trouble. To no one’s surprise, Mercedes have continued pretty much where they left off from in 2014, they’ve not been making any fastest lap headlines, but as they don’t need any extra money, they don’t have too.

So all in all, it’s the same as last year ... but different.

Okay then, team by team in last year’s championship winning order.

    

Mercedes: Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg.

All during winter testing the Merc boys have pounded round the Spanish tracks racking up the miles and occasionally grinding to halt. There have been very few dramas over the weeks. The most eyebrow raising moment was Lewis going home with a sick note after 20 minutes in the car one morning.  Oh and Nico got the early drop on the team mate rivalry by announcing he’s “knocked up the misses, unlike Lewis who doesn’t even have a girlfriend hahahahaha”. *Ahem* Anyway congratulations to the Rosbergs. Yeah other than that, they were pretty much happy to let the likes of Lotus and Ferrari, grab all the headlines. That was until the last day when Nico bolted on a set of sticky tyres and went 1.5 seconds faster than anyone else. They are still the Benchmark and I’ll put money on Merc taking the constructors with ease again this year.

As for the two boys, well Nico would like to prove he is a champion and Lewis would like to underline how much of a champion he is by winning two titles back to back. But Lewis didn’t go well the last time he was a single man, and his social media output of late has been winsome looks on beaches at sunset and much imploring of #teamLH so “stay strong”. Conversely the recently married Nico has announced he’s to become a father for the first time in August. This year the off track action could be the deciding factor in who wins the drivers’ championship.

Redbull:  Daniel Ricciardo and Daniil Kvyat

Redbull, after a shaky start last season with the underpowered Renault, turned it around and were the only team to stop Mercedes clean sweeping the whole thing. Danny  surfaced as an Australian it was alright to like with plenty of feisty racing moves and officially the biggest grin in the paddock. But Vettel was being all grumpy about not being given an easy ride by the FIA and wasn’t really trying very hard. Then he announced out of the blue (except I’d been saying he’s do it for years) that he was off to Ferrari and screw the lot of you. Redbull caught rather on the hop, Told Kvyat to throw on the Redbull team shirt and come and be introduced to the media as the new replacement.  After that he failed to look anything other than ordinary in the Torro Rosso.

So Danny will continue to grin and be quite impressive, he’s now the team leader with all the advantages that brings at Redbull and he’s got the media on his side. He’s a nice bloke from what I’ve seen of him and I think he’s got the making of a champion one day. Kvyat is still wet behind the ears and didn’t impress me all that much at Torro Rosso. He’s alright, but he got beaten by that other bloke all year and no one even remembers who he was now.

The big question is Renault, who have been putting out feelers into buying one of the back row teams and renaming them Renault F1. They’re a bit tired of playing second fiddle at Redbulls podium celebrations and really rather annoyed when Redbull throw their hands in the air and flounce around blaming Renault when it all goes wrong. It’s not always their fault when Newey shoehorns their pint sized engine into a half pint space. There are limits, and Redbull always seemed to find them. So Renault has cooled the relationship somewhat after Horner started 2015 by complaining to anyone who would listen that “Yet again the Renault engine is a pile of French merde! Not long after that, suggestion started to appear that Renault would be starting their very own team soon. In testing the cars done more miles than it managed last year, but it’s not been out there making headlines. The thinking is they’re still behind Mercedes, and not much closer than they were six months ago. Ferrari might also be back on form and could give Redbull a run for its money.

Williams: Valtteri Bottas and Felipe Massa.

Last year was a real renaissance for the lads and lass of Didcot. The car worked like a dream after the nightmare of 2013, it was fast and slippery and made the Merc work for the points at numerous events. But they didn’t quite have the courage to roll the dice and try to pinch a win. Understandably I suppose, the previous year had been one of no points and humiliation, Maldonardo spent a year smearing the car down the wall and walking back the pits with bits of car rather than bottles of fizz. They needed a confidence building year and they got it, thank in no small part to the Massa and Bottas in the cars and Smedly and Symonds on the pit wall. The car was innovative but sensible and the pit wall didn’t try to out think itself. They knew they couldn’t touch the Mercedes, so why bother? Plan to get third and see what happened, yes it was a bit predictable, but it got results.

This year, there’ll be more of the same I imagine. Testing would suggest that Ferrari have got their act together and have overtaken the plucky garagistas. But Williams are still ahead of McLaren and the mid field teams. The car is slippery again but now has more front downforce for those low speed circuits. The final test saw a slew of fastest laps so they could be tilting for poles again this year and if they’re on pole I think they’ll go for the win this time.

Ferrari: Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen.

Well I was all ready to write Ferrari off at the end of last year. Alonso was to all intense and purposes unceremoniously fired after flogging yet another dead pony for a year and telling the media just how much of a dead pony it was. Monty had been fired by the Fiat board of directors and at the end of the season they fired they’re second race director, I didn’t even have time to learn his name. In came Maurizio Arrivabene a man from the marketing department of Marlboro ciggies and would you believe it, turned it all around.

What should have been a spectacular firework of Mediterranean tantrums and covert media briefings. Turned into a restructuring, with clear lines of responsibility for managers and an engine that wasn’t made of iron girders! Then the car turned up for the first test with new boy Vettel and it didn’t fall apart of run out of petrol 200 yards up the pit lane.  It was fast and so far pretty reliable.  

Vettel looked all smug and “I told you it would work”, as Alonso kicked the broken down McLaren-Honda yet again parked at the side of the road.

Even Kimi looked like he was interested for a change; he smiled at least once when asked if he liked the car.

They still have to deliver of course, but I think they go into the 2015 with a bit more vim and vigour about them now. How much that has to do with Alonso’s departure, well I couldn’t possible comment on that.

McLaren-Honda: Fernando Alonso and Jenson button.

Well he turned up at McLaren then. After giving everyone the run around for 6 months last year, Alonso rocked up at McLaren and promptly had Kev fired in preference to Jenson. Start as you mean to go on aye mate!

Things than started to go bad as soon as the McLaren with its brand spanking new Honda engine rolled out for the end of season young drivers test the Monday morning after the final race of 2014 in Abu Dhabi. The car did approximately 100 yards and stopped dead. They wheeled it back in, all smiles and “oh it’s just a simple software error .. ahhhhah don’t worry”. They sent it out again and it stopped 300 smoky yards later... ohh dear.

This year’s winter testing season has seen the new McLaren-Honda mostly parked up as Vettel has cheerily driven past in his brand spanking new reliable Ferrari that Alonso wished he could be driving. Then to cap it all, it tried to kill Alonso when it unexpectedly speared into the wall as according to the McLaren PR squad, “A gust of wind caught it”.  Yeah right, these things are designed by more computing power than NASA used to get man to the moon. Alonso was pulled from the car unconscious and spent the next three days eating hospital food. Magnussen got a call up to drive the car at the final test in a classic “Here’s what you could have won” moment.

But don’t start planning the McLaren funeral just yet, no, because if you recall a year ago Redbull did exactly the same thing. Go out, tool round slowly for a lap or two, and then expire in a smoky conflagration.  But they came back and won three races in 2014 didn’t they. Yes they did, because they have more money than most tin pot African dictatorships can spend on illegal weaponry. They bought themselves out of the problem, and put Adrian Newey on a caffeine drip till he worked out what he’s done wrong.

McLaren aren’t short of a bob or two, but they don’t have a star designer of the Neweys calibre. They have a faceless grey cell of nameless individuals designing methodically and according to the grey hive mind. They don’t really do flare do they? Individualism is sort of frown upon.

So it might be some time before we see the boys from Woking back up the front.

Force India: Sergio Perez and Nico Hulkenberg.

Well we have no idea how they did in winter testing as they didn’t bring their 2015 car to anything but the last test.  According to the team this was because they were still honing the design and making sure it was perfect before they got it all messy on the track. The less technical reason is they didn’t have enough money to pay their suppliers for the 2015 bits they ordered three months ago and said suppliers, having been burnt by Caterham and Marrussia, refused to hand over the bits until cold hard cash was handed over in return.

Lotus tried this same trick last year, hang around the back of the pits smoking ciggies and looking shifty for two tests then tune up to the last one with a cobbled together mess of a car and expect it to hit the track running. It didn’t work for them and it won’t work for Force India. Engineers need to understand what they’re designed and how to set it up. Rocking up day one of the new season and expecting it to pick up where the previous car did, is a fools mission. Last year the Force India team seemed to finally get the idea of racing. They stopped making bizarre pit wall calls and let the drivers get on with it. Nico kind of fumbled it and Sergio rebuilt his confidence. Yes, they were always 10 minutes away from collapsing into administration and bailiffs kicking the front door in but they looked like a bona fide race team for once. Now it looks like they’re back to scraping around for loose change to pay the suppliers.

Torro Rosso: Max Verstappen and Carlos Sainz Jr.

Right off the bat, I like Carlos for no other reason that when Ted Kravitz interviewed him during the second test, he was an absolutely nice chap. He was honest, charming and didn’t feel the need to big himself up. I have no idea if he’s got the chops to succeed in F1, but he’s got a personality and that gets my vote.

I’ve not seen anything from Max so I have no idea what he’s like. He’s been aaaaalright in testing, he’s not nailed the wall or annoyed anyone, and so reports he’s the second coming will have to wait. He’s from that Lewis Hamilton mould of being groomed for this sport from the moment he pushed his first corgi hot wheels car across the table top. His dad was a bit of a cock back in the day with the mistaken belief that he was somehow better then Schumacher, hopefully Max hasn’t inherited his father’s puffed up ego.

Then again do you remember what you were doing when you were 17? I think I was still trying to work out if having a third can of woodpeckers cider was going to end in praying to the porcelain God once more. I certainly wasn’t looking at my first season in an F1 car ... Is Max too young? It’s going to be the talking point of the season until he either has his first big accident, or gets a hatful or points.

Lotus:  Romain Grosjean and Pastor Maldonardo.

Well, you all know what I think about Pastor and he did nothing to change that view last year. Romain I have a bit more time for, he survived a tough initiation into the sport and I think he’s matured into a handy, if unremarkable drive.

As for Lotus, well it’s all change for them this year. They ditched the unreliable Renault unit and managed to convince Mercedes that they could really pay for some of their engines. When they rocked up to the first test the thing went like a rocket and Pastor was the star of the week with fastest laps all over the place. The car was suddenly reliable and predictable and drivable, everything a team wants from a car. As the testing went on they sort of dropped back to mid table respectability, but they got the miles they missed last year and could be set for a bit of a solid year. Just as long as Pastor can keep his murderous death wish under control of course!

I'm not going to get in to the debate about them hiring Carmen Jorda to be their team development driver. I’ll accept that she probably isn’t the greatest driver out there. But I don’t think she has deserved any of the downright bullying she has received since the announcement. No one put a gun to the head of Lopez and made him sign Ms Jorda. And they are perfectly at liberty to sign whoever waves a big enough cheque at them. No one has said she was going to do any racing, so why have the Red faced loons gone into meltdown over this. Give it up, you loons it’s not the end of day!

Marussia: well .. errrrr Will Stevens i think and errrrrr someone

Right, well okay Marussia or Manor as we are now supposed to call them. Well they sold off half the factory to HAAS motor sport and his American F1 vapourware. Lots of expensive looking mills, work stations , monitors, hats, mock up cars and general stuff got auctioned off and we thought we’d seen the end of them.

But then the administrators knocked on the FIA’s doors and said,

“That wad of cash we are owed for the point we got in Monaco .. what’s happing to that? “

The FIA shrugged and said, “Well if you pay your entry fee and bring a team to the table, it’s yours”. The team went away, had a bit of a think then came back and asked, “can we race our 2014 car if we put this year’s sticker on it?” The FIA asked the other team if that would be okay and Force India quite rightly said, “Errr why do they get to race last year’s car and we don’t ???? Screw them!”

So the FIA told Marussia to build a car that was mostly last year’s car and looked quite a lot like this year’s car and have it ready before the fourth race of the season, oh and pay the entry fee ... and they were in.

Force India grumbled a bit and then realised they’d still be ahead of the Marussia whatever happened and let it past. So, having paid for and got a receipt for their entry, Marussia are in.  They’ve been given a dispensation to miss the first three races whilst they buy back all the equipment they sold and knock up a car that will pass inspection. The team are saying they’ll rock up to Australia with something that most pundits assume will be at least seven seconds off the pace of the Merc and will fail the 107%. If that happens the stewards will refuse to let them race (probably, you never know with the FIA) and we’ll move on to the next race. Just how long they can be outside the 107% and denied entry is anyone’s guess. I think it’ll last as long as it take to get the  TV money cheque.

But whatever, good luck to Will and whoever else they sign up. I hope they like F! because they’re going to be watching a lot of it from the stands this year.

Sauber: Felipe Nasr and Marcus Ericsson

So, last year was an utter disaster. No points, no credibility and they got beaten by Marussia at times, notably in Monaco where the plucky back markers snaffled a point. Peter Sauber is no mug and he didn't really deserve the kicking he got last year, after bailing the team out when BMW flounced off he should have been given more support by the FIA. Instead they seemed happy to let the likes of Sauber, Caterham and Force India go to the wall to protect some manufactures interests.

With Caterham gone and Manor fielding an updated 2014 car, Sauber should at least be guaranteed ninth place in the constructors’ championship this year. The car they wheeled out for testing certainly didn’t look like it was going to be pushing the front of the grid at all.  They have elevated the word ‘dull’ to a whole new interstellar level of dullness, with a car that actually makes you think a stag weekend in Rotherham would be a brilliant idea. Don’t let the blue and yellow paint scheme fool you, this car is the racing equivalent of waiting at the doctors for a prostrate examination.   You just know it’s going to be bad news.

So we have lots to look forward to this year. Yes the Merc will be on top, but the inter team rivalry will be fascinating.

Ferrari and Redbull look like locking horns once more and Williams is punching above its weight as the best of the customer Merc engine runners.

The fight to be the team that doesn’t go into administration will be between Sauber and Force India.  Force India will also have the added fun of wondering when VJ will finally run out of companies with pension funds he can raid then sell off

Lotus looks to have put last year’s woes behind them and might finish a race in the points again. Whilst Torro Rosso will continue to look after the kids for Redbull and insist they are an independent team.

Over it all Bernie will make random wacky statements, do dodgy deal and continue to grow his own personal wealth.

But mostly the racing will be a lot closer this year and more unpredictable in the mid field.

I'm certainly looking forward to it.

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There's a deafening silence from the FIA isn't there !

We live in interesting times.

Right now there are a lot of people wondering round the F1 paddock nervously glancing at their generic mobile devices, checking to see if their team is next to call in the administrators. On Wednesday last week the lads and lasses of Caterham arrived at the factory to find the doors locked and a message on twitter about administrators and trying to get the team refinanced. The word was Bernie had agreed to the team missing the next two races due to them having no money. Then over the weekend rumours started that Marussia wouldn’t be at the US GP either. Monday morning saw confirmation on social media that the team was in the hands of the administrators who were also looking to refinance.

You wait years for a team to buy at rock bottom prices than two turn up at once! except there are no buyers out there for two failed teams. The only thing they have of value is that they are F1 teams. And that only works if they pay for that entry … and turn up to every event. On November 1^st the FIA will expect a cheque for £60,000 from Caterham and slightly more from Marussia to pay for their entry next year. Oddly the entry fee is based on the number of points the team got the previous year. So Marussia having got those two world championship point, have to pay more than Caterham who have nothing.

There is also a question mark over weather Marussia signed up to the concord agreement before 2009, after that date any team that goes into insolvency (and why would you be calling the administrators in, if you weren’t insolvent). Is automatically banned from taking part in any future races. It was Manor racing which originally formed the team as Virgin, but that all got sold to the Russians and the key question is; was the signing of the agreement by the old team or the new team. If the consensus is no Marussia signed after 2009, they won’t even have an F1 entry to sell, it’ll all be over.

From what I've heard, the debt Marussia currently has could conceivable keep a small third world dictatorship in electric nipple clamps and gold plated AK-47 for a very long time. These boys have an eye watering large debt that isn't the sort of thing an "investment company" will want to take on. 

Which is a real shame in my opinion. For Jules, for the team and for Max, who is never going to get another drive in F1 … ever. And we can all kiss goodbye to that five point banker each race!

With Sauber being touted as the next team to call in the administrators and Lotus not long after that, we could be looking at a grid of 16 cars next year, and then we have this vague promise of three cars teams. An idea only Bernie and CVC seem enthusiastic about. There are rules apparently for all of this to happen, but they are deadly top secret and no one is allowed to tell us, the paying public, what those rules are.

What I think there is, is a total vacuum if ideas and love for the sport at the top. CVC are just trying to rape the thing for all its cash and don’t appear to give a shit how much blood is getting sloshed around to achieve that. Two teams have almost certainly gone to the wall and Bernie is wittering onto the Daily Mail business section (that bastion of calm, considered, fact based investigative journalism) about the upper fifth form selling old cars to the lower third. But only if they let them have their tuck privileges and Fotherington-smyth is allowed to drive the car because he’s driven his dads Audi R8 at least twice.

Someone, not necessarily anyone who actually knows the truth, says the teams need 60 days’ notice before they can roll out these third cars. Which means we almost certainly won’t see this at the last race. But if the teams continue to fall by the way side at the current rate, next year could be interesting. And by interesting, I mean a whole idiots convention of stupidness, If you think a double points finale is pushing the limit of plausibility then the 2015 season is going to be a real humdinger for you. A return to the glory days of the FIA/CVC/Bernie sticking their oar when they don’t like the results and random rule changes.

I think we should all be worried about where F1 is going. Patched up grids, no idea who wins and who gets what points, new cars appearing for a few races, the big boys getting further and further ahead. Even multiclass racing has been suggested as a way to fill the grids, with GP2 teams filling in for missing teams. Make no mistake here, F1 is at a real crisis point, there is too little money concentrate at the top, what money that is available is being withheld from the teams that need it most. The sport is being run as a business to make money, not as a way of promoting excellence through engineering and skill.

But all that is just depressing isn’t it. Let’s look at the racing instead, at least that’s been good this year.

I rather like this American track; The drag off the line up the hill is made for TV, then the high speed sweeping curves to play follow the leader. A couple of off camber right angle overtaking zones, then a nice fast straight into a challenging technical section made for cars with balance and poise to dance through. The cars need plenty of grunt for the long bits, but a well-balanced car can make up time in the sweeping and technical corners.

It gets bonus points for not being on some industrial estate or down town car park and with a crowd that is pretty good. These aren't he fans that are leaving NASCAR in droves either, these are the knowledgeable types that like to see a good race and have a good time. 

So yeah, I think its pretty good track with lots of potential for a good race.

Do you remember the first time we came here ? it was brand spanking new and the track had yet to be rubbered in, so it was like a skating rink. That was the first big event on the track and it made it a bit of a lottery. Well, the feeling is, these new torquey cars of 2014 might well struggle to find enough grip this weekend. 

Mercedes have been making a big song and dance all over the social media world about winning the 2014 constructors title, a bit of good news in all the doom and gloom, the expectation now is that they'll let the boys have a proper go at racing this weekend. there has been a lot of discussion about Nico and his lost win in Russia. Lots of "pundits" would have you believe that he'd beaten Lewis off the line and would have cruised to and easy win, if only he hadn't made a tiny silly little mistake. I think that's not the first tiny little mistake he's made this year and probably won't be his last.

In a straight fight, Lewis has made less mistakes on the track than Nico. Rosberg has made more unforced errors this year, the missed turn in Monaco, braking too late in Monza twice, braking far too late again in Sochi and fumbling the pass on Lewis in Spa and almost taking them both out. Call it a lack of maturity or not responding well to the pressure if yo like, but its not the best way to win a world championship.

He's still as fast as Lewis and if he keeps it all together has just as much chance as his team mate of winning this weekend. 

Okay, so The Merc up front, Williams next, Danny could be on for a podium if he can keep up with the Williams. Vettel driving for the Lolz now and Ferrari trying to impress in a key market.

Torro Rosso, Lotus and Sauber racing with one eye on the hot line to the accountants. 

REMEMBER ... There are no Caterhams or Marussias to come last here, it will be a new face at the back this week. This could be your chance to make up some points on those that haven't bothered to update their teams. 

Choose from Maldonardo, Sutil and That Mexican chap. Grosjean is better than all of them so he's safe. An outside bet would be Kvyat or Vergne. But i think realistically, baring any last lap idiocy, it'll be a Lotus or Sauber driver. 

Right that's long enough, time for bed   

Don't forget to update your predictions before friday. Good luck.

Update your predictions here

Japanese GP

Ok, At the time of writing this, Jules Bianchi is in hospital undergoing emergency surgery after colliding with a recovery vehicle. The tractor had come on to remove Sutils car from the barrier on the outside of the Dunlop curve. It’s a fast uphill left hand corner that goes on and on, the exit is blind and even in the dry pretty tricky.  

The reports are that as the tractor was lifting Sutils car back behind the tyre wall, Bianchi lost control, spinning the car under the rear of the tractor, which suggest there was no impact structure to bear the brunt of the crash, the first thing to hit was probably Jules’s head. I don’t even want to imagine what that must have done.  

It’s never easy to know what to write in these circumstances, I'm old enough to remember the years when you could expect at least one driver to be lost due to an accident on or off the track, it was almost expected. But the 80’s saw the introduction of more and more safety features for the cars, drivers and the tracks. Accidents because less frequent and we though the bad days were gone. Then Senna died and the safety efforts we increased again, some said to the detriment to the sport that things were being sanitised and the danger was missing. But then Kubica crashed horrifically at high speed in Canada, the car disintegrating down the wall in a shower of carbon fibre and engine bits. Amazingly Kubica all but walked away and everyone congratulated the rule makers for making things safe again. Lessons seemed to have been learnt.

But it seems as though whatever the rule makers do, the drivers head is always going to be vulnerable, Massa was lucky to be alive after hitting a spring that had fallen of Barrichello’s Brawn during qualifying in Hungary in 2009. Tethers were introduced to stop stray wheels bouncing around the open cockpits. Higher sides with deformable crash structure padding were added to stop heads bouncing from side to side and HANS devices made mandatory to stop heads being slammed into the steering wheels.

It looks like Jules was just in the wrong place at the wrong time; I just hope he will be return to F1

So there was a race, Hamilton survived his own crash on Saturday morning but couldn’t beat his team mate to pole in the dry.

The race on Sunday started in the wet behind a safety car, we got 2 laps before they brought everyone in to wait for the rain to stop. When they restarted behind the safety car half an hour later we got a hatful of laps as the track dried before the racing started.

Rosberg scampered off, but burnt his tyres out as Lewis pegged him back and passed with ease and then never looked back.  Button looked like he could get a podium, but the Redbulls with their wet set up were able to haul him in a Vettel got to follow the Merc boys for a change.

Then Sutil lost it and Bianchi followed a lap later, this brought out the safety car and eventually the red flag as the extent of Bianchi accident became clear.  As the cars parked up and the drivers were told of the reason why, no one wanted to celebrate the race. They were wet, cold and one of their own was being rushed to hospital. Some things are more important than champagne and points.

Hamilton wins and made it look effortless

Rosberg was second and was well beaten

Vettel was third after Redbull set the car up for a very wet race. – I’ll talk about his move to Ferrari later.

Ricciardo was fourth and unlucky, he pitted for new tyres just before the safety car and lost his place to Vettel when they counted back one lap.

Button fifth always goes well in changeable conditions. He made Riccy work his points with a feisty drive.

Bottas was sixth and was clearly struggling with a Willimas lacking downforce.

Massa was seventh and had the same problem as Bottas

Hulkenberg is classified eighth even though he’s stopped at pit exit. I think he was in the pit box when they took the lap before the red flag so get to keep his finish.

Vergne irate in ninth with his team for promoting Kvyat to the A team when he’s got more points than the Russian and out qualified him.

Perez was tenth.

Kobayashi was the last  driver to finish.

Sorry it’s a bit short and sombre this week, I’ll talk about Alonso’s future, Vettels move to Ferrari and Kvyats promotion next week, for now let’s just hope Bianchi is going to be alright. The FIA just put out a press release to say;

“Suzuka, October 5th

- On lap 42, Adrian Sutil lost control of his car, spun and hit the tyre barrier on the outside of Turn 7. The marshals displayed double waved yellow flags before the corner to warn drivers of the incident. A recovery vehicle was despatched in order to lift the car and take it to a place of safety behind the guardrail. While this was being done the driver of car 17, Jules Bianchi, lost control of his car, travelled across the run-off area and hit the back of the tractor.

Once the marshals reported that the driver was injured, medical teams were despatched and the Safety Car was deployed. These were followed by an extrication team and an ambulance.

The driver was removed from the car, taken to the circuit medical centre and then by ambulance to Mie General Hospital.

The CT scan shows that he has suffered a severe head injury and he is currently undergoing surgery. Following this he will be moved to intensive care where he will be monitored.

Mie General Hospital will issue an update as soon as further information becomes available.”

He's BEHIND you !!!!!!

Our players have been assigned their rolls and costumes have been donned, lines learnt and props … propped. Now it’s on with the lights, let the entertainment commence 

Lewis as our plucky hero, robbed of his rightful inheritance, he has to travel the world searching high and low for the magic points with which to defeat;
Nico, our Panto villain with his dashing good looks and a twinkle in the eye. He has beguiled Lady Luck into a tawdry affair and trapped her in a never ending cycle of champagne and bratwurst parties.

 

Lady Luck the beautiful but fickle heiress to a large silver cup with the words “F1 world champion” written on it. Sister to the Goddess of not driving on the wet lines you idiots and the countess lady have you tightened that fuel line Kevin. She is the love interest of our Hero who hopes to rescue her from incarceration in the Mercedes hospitality suit. 

Monza was the last of the European season and now we head off for the start of the home stretch for the quest of the chase for the title.

Singapore

Japan (Suzuka)

Russia (Sochi) … probably will happen now.
America (Circuit Of The Americas)
Abu Dhabi (Yas Marina)

With the double pointer in Abu Dhabi, that’s a maximum of 150 points  up for grabs. Which means this thing is going to go down to the wire.

We’ve not had a wet race for a long time, so the weather Gods have perked up and look set to dump a load of rain all over the Singapore circuit this weekend. If that happens I’m not sure they’re going to actually race, I’m pretty sure a wet street circuit at night is going to be too much of a PR risk for the chaps in race control so I imagine there will be a lot of safety car action.

If its dry, well Lewis is my favourite, he’s a bit of a whizz around street circuits and like Monaco, loves this place. Its more open and flowing than Monaco but shill punishes the drivers who like to push things to the limit. Nico is almost certainly going to be in championship protection mode now. He doesn’t need to win every race so he can sit behind Hamilton and hoover up the points. No need to get all puffed up to prove anything now.

This could be a good one for Danny as the circuit shares a lot common with Hungary, lots of flowing hairpins with low grip and Redbull have been talking up his chances. Renault are making noises about a pole on Saturday, something I think is beyond them realistically if the Mercs are on song as usual. But it’s a mark of how far the engine team has come from the start of the year, where finishing in Australia was considered an amazing result. So Danny on the podium is a pretty confident bet.

Ferrari could be a surprise package here, the car is a dog but a wet or soggy circuit would level the field for them. Dry and they’ll be behind the Merc/Redbull race, scrapping it out with Williams who missed their shot for the win in Monza and this place isn’t for them. They’ll be top five at best on a dry track.

Williams are now targeting a championship position ahead of Ferrari so a press statement from Ferrari saying, they are starting to work on their 2015 car now and have no interest in racing anymore, will be welcome news to the boys from Didcot. Ferrari isn’t going to win anything so there’s no point busting a nut trying to chase a lost cause.  There’s pride and expectation of course, but they don’t pay the for Kimis’ ice cream bill.

 

Further back and Kobayashi is allowed to keep his seat for another week as Caterham grub around in the dirt and behind the sofa for any loose change to pay for stuff. The hot rumour doing the rounds in Monza was whether Christian Albers, the new team boss after the fire sale, was still working for the team. The answer came a few hours after the race when he quit for “private reasons”, which appear to be the fact the new corporate owners had failed to pay for anything and had stopped answering the phone to him.  

If this team was in prison it would have a 24 hour suicide watch standing over it. The chances of them making it to the end of the season are looking more and more remote by the hour.

Also having a few sleepless nights are the Lotus team, with lots of rumours floating about suggesting there are still suppliers looking to be paid for work undertaken months ago. Into these dark clouds was dropped the incendiary news that the Merc engine deal was less than certain due to the German engine builders still waiting for the first down payment. The Lotus management of course denied there was any sort of problem whilst visibly sweating and avoiding any sort of eye contact.  

Anyway.

Singapore looks absolutely gorgeous in HD on your TV, I imagine it looks even better live. The track usually throws up a bit of a race with plenty of overtaking and last of the late breakers. It should a be good race, with lots to watch though the field.

Lewis and Nico upfront, Danny continuing to impress and Vettel looking grumpy.

The Williams and Ferrari fight, as Force India and McLaren look to capitalise on any mistakes they make.

Don’t forget to update your predictions before midnight tonight.

It's all about the spectacle apparently.

The British GP this weekend is going to have to be pretty special.

The Tour de France kicks off in Leeds on Saturday with Cav tipped to go for the stage win and take the yellow jersey around Britain, before the big boys start playing for keeps.

Murray ‘could’ be in the Wimbledon final on Sunday, well you never know.

Further afield, the World Cup hits the quarter final stages. Brazil aim to beat Columbia to keep the Samba party going. The Dutch look to step on the plucky Costa Ricans. Both should be exciting games.

Whilst over in France the Classic Le Mans 24 hours starts on Friday and that’s where I’m going to be.

For pretty much the price of admission to the British GP this year, I can go to France, eat and drink to excess and watch classic racing machinery being thrashed around. Imagine Glastonbury, but with more cars and about the same amount of mud. Whilst the Goodwood Classic Revival can certainly lay claim to being the absolute pinnacle of “po-faced old duffers looking under bonnets at the oily bits, and sneering at the lower classes”. The Le Mans Classic is now the largest classic car festival in Europe and takes a much more relaxed attitude to the like of me. Getting all sweaty under the collar looking at a 1929 Bentley speed 6 or a 1970 Porsche 917 in Gulf colours, is practically encouraged.

Le Mans does Classic racing so much better than Goodwood which wants you to dress like an effete Oxbridge undergrad, stuff teddy bear and all. You can’t move for Arran sweaters tide loosely around shoulders and battered straw boaters being lazily tipped to posh totty. Actual racing at Goodwood is reserved for the unwashed masses on the far side of the circuit, “The terrible oiks who don’t have a scrap of tweed between them!!!”

Le Mans doesn’t suffer from any of that corporate class snobbery; no, you can wander around, dress the way you want, taking pictures and drinking red wine to your heart’s content. And there is simply nothing better than watching the sort of machinery that would kill a man in the blink of an eye, that frisson of danger that comes from knowing some of these cars were considered the most dangerous ever made. These days it’s all a lot safer of course, far fewer things to hit and better fire protection but these are the turbo spitting, brake squalling “throw all the petrol in the world at the engine and give me MORE POWER mmmwwwahahahahahahaha” cars.

But enough having fun, we have a championship to follow.

So, back to Formula one and the circus rolls into Blighty. Home of the most knowledgeable fans etc etc.

It’s been a busy old time for some teams as they try to find that extra tenth to beat the teams around them. Whilst Mercedes sail off in to the distance Ferrari, Williams, Redbull and Force India are having a right ding dong battle to be the best of the rest.

The fight for the places just behind the podium is quite exciting, Redbull who had a bit of a stuttering start, finally got the ball in play but then seem to have dropped it spectacularly in Austria. Horner coming out with a tirade of abuse for Renault and their underpowered engine was pure pantomime. After four years of nothing but post-race Champagne for tea, they’re scratching around for points from their world champion driver as the new boy impresses everyone. That and Newey swapping his headphones for a captain’s cap and deck shoes, suddenly the Redbull management is getting visibly edgy. Even Dietrich Mateschitz the owner of Redbull racing had a pop at Renault in the following days “bad for Renault and bad for Redbull” he blasted. The sense of entitlement is astounding!

Williams meanwhile, are going from strength to strength. Not winning mind, but the days of a dangerous Venezuelan smearing the car down yet another wall/competitor seem to have gone. The car is fast on the straight stuff and out of corners, they lucked into a front row lockout in Austria when Mercedes fumbled the ball and had the measure of the silver cars until cold hard pragmatism got in the way of a good fight. They even have a super-sub in the wings that will get her first proper try out of the season at Silverstone.

At long last Susie Wolff will be taking part in the Friday free practice session this weekend and it will be interesting to see how she goes, the car is clearly top 5 material in the right hands so a result in the top ten is expected. Yes I know Friday really means nothing. But Mrs Wolff is the first women in 20 years to get a shot at playing with the big boys and Maldonado, you might argue this is all a sop to Toto, a good bit of PR, and you’d be right. But this isn’t some wet behind the ears F3 also ran with a shed full of cash and there is talk of maybe a full weekend of fun later in the season, a good result here might just seal the deal.

Force India has a bit of a problem, the hulk has lost his mojo and Perez is turning into a born again racer. He’s clearly put the failure of last year with McLaren behind him and is showing his much more fancied team mate a clean pair of Pirellis finest. The team is now in a three way fight with Ferrari and Williams for that third spot in the championship which is worth and awful lot of money. It’s taken them a long time to get to this stage and they need the Hulk to pull himself together and start to drive it like he stole it again.  Otherwise I’ll have to start liking Perez.... and that’s just not happening!

As predicted by pretty much everyone, Fernandez looks like he’s selling up his share of Caterham to some faceless corporate idiots. As usual they will try and make a fast buck out of the team, claim they are investing in the future, strip it of all its assets and disappear in six months or so. Faceless mega corps care nothing for the sport only the cash returns they think they’ll make. At this point in time there is no word from anyone as to what is happening, there are even a few ugly rumours going round that the boys and girls in green might not turn up to Silverstone, always a worrying development. Let’s be honest though, it has been a dismal failure from Caterham after pretty much skipping last year to concentrate on bringing a top ten car to the game in 2014. Yet they are now further behind than before. Testing had them knocking on the door of acceptability … almost half way through the season and they are now floundering around at the garden gate, trying to fight off the randy dog next door which is trying to hump their leg with a desperate rabid frenzy. Faces behind the windows stare out in pure contempt.

Things at McLaren are also not too rosy.  Big Bad Ron has told button to get his shit together and get on with being a racing driver, which seems a bit harsh seeing as he’s just lost his father! But if you want a shoulder to cry on and a manly hug to chase the dark clouds away Ron Dennis isn’t your man.

No, if you want love and cuddles you want to be down at Mercedes where Lauda has been wondering around telling everyone that “Lewis isn’t cracking up, he’s fine”. Despite no one suggesting he was or it even crossing their minds. Yeah sure he’s been beaten in the last three races and yeah sure he’s a win behind Nico now, but he’s not lost the plot. He’s regrouping, getting ready to blow Nico away ... any ... second .... nearly .... in ... a.... moment .... Okay no one is panicking yet ... okay.

"must win must win must win must don't listen to the voices must win must win"

The FIA have been quiet recently and that’s always a worry. So it is with very little surprise that they have popped up this week with another top draw “What the actually Baggins are they up to this time” shocker.

Apparently it’s too difficult for the “fans” to follow the restarts of races that have been following a safety car for any length of time. All that, “pace car peeling off and the drivers getting on with racing” was confusing the corporate suits in the hospitality units. One minute they were ordering another pink gin as the cars tooled around and the marshals cleared up Maldonado’s latest accident. And the next the cars were racing again and no one had told them. So from next year .... and you’re going to love this ... the cars will stop on the grid after the safety car has peeled off ... yes, line up on the grid, in the order they were in ... .and here’s the best bit ....... restart the race. Brilliant ... simply brilliant.

No.

I have no idea why, either!

They claim it’s something to do with safety and making a show of it and some other irrelevant bollocks. Bearing in mind this is after all the back markers have been waved through, which is another two laps of dullness. But I'm sorry there is just no need for this is there? It’d a stupid pointless waste of time, all it’s going to do is increase the likelihood of yet another safety car when whatever remaining Caterham grenades itself into turn two. Or Massa drives into the back of Perez again.

Bunch of arse, it really is, double pointer finalise and standing restarts.

Credibility that way ... Morals that way.

Right okay enough. This weekend, well Lewis is all pumped up working himself into a lather of expectation.  After he was robbed of the win last year he’s out for revenge and he’s due a bit of luck, except Nico is absolutely on top of his game right now and doing a phenomenal job.  

But Austria showed, Mercedes aren’t quite so far ahead anymore. The Williams was there on pace and maybe if they’d pushed it a bit more might have sneaked the win. The Redbulls were right on their tale in Canada, a very similar circuit to Silverstone. It might not be quite so cut and dried this time.

Well the heart says Lewis, Nico and Button on the podium. The head says Nico, Lewis and either Williams.

Alonso and probably Perez followed by Danny boy and a McLaren, Button hopefully. Where will Vettel be I wonder, top ten or will something else happen to him?

At the back, Sauber and Lotus will struggle to beat the Marussia’s and Caterham, if they turn up, will be last.

Fastest lap; Hamilton, to either salvage pride or nail the point home in front of an adoring crowd.

   

The results will be a little late I'm afraid as I will be in France over the weekend so won’t see the race until Monday evening.  So until then good luck and enjoy the race.

Stop it you two !!

Okay, nanny has picked up all the toys from around the prams and the two children have been told to hug and make up. Fingers were wagged, grudging apologies awkwardly mumbled and promises that it won’t happen again waved away.

Will it make a difference in Canada, not a chance.

Would you want it any different? No, me neither.

The great years of Formula have always been booked ended by huge ego’s getting all puffed up and throwing their weight around. Senna and Prost, Schumacher and Hill, Mansell and the whole world. All classic years where the racing was dominated by what the protagonists were saying about each other in the press. Snide remarks about favouritism from the team, unfair advantages and broken gentleman’s agreements, were always fun to read about. Okay Nigel whinging on about how it was all so very hard for him could get a little boring, but watching uncomfortable post-race interviews where one driver quite clearly wanted to smack the winner in the face, make great TV. And during the Senna/Prost years that was often the most entertaining thing.

But I’m afraid they were the good old days, the chance of a punch up on pit lane have receded as the faceless PR suits have grown in power and quashed any sort of chance of an embarrassing outburst. The last really good ill-tempered spat was between Hamilton and Massa, and had more to do with Massa getting a shafting from Ferrari than either of them driving dangerously.

Nope, all the good personal vendettas are in the past now. Lewis and Nico will be a bit grumpy in front of the camera and that’ll be your lot.

As for this weekend, the question is going to be, how much did Nico’s “sportsmanship” affect Lewis. Will he come out all guns blazing and totally dominate the weekend to prove a point? Or will he be all messed up in the head and overdrive the thing into the wall?

Historically Lewis is win or bust here. It’s another of those tracks that really suit his style. Nico though is on the up now with his “win” in Monaco so he’s coming to be brimming with self-belief and confidence, always a difficult combination to beat.

Further back, well Danny has been the best of the rest so far, Vettel is due some luck. But the Renaults might not have the top end grunt to hold off the faster Merc cars. I’ve got a Force India on the podium here, I think this place will suit the car and drivers. Alonso to be there or there abouts, Kimi’s still not happy in the car. Williams and McLaren will continue the fight and Lotus could well join the battle here, watch out for Maldonado everybody !!

No really, just look at the midfield !!!

It’s all back to Europe and the Spanish GP at Barcelona this week. Can anyone catch the Mercs ?

Nope

Okay then. But that’s not to say it won’t be exciting.... well maybe it is, but that’s not the point. Back behind the dust cloud that was the Mercs, it’s all rather interesting.  Throw a blanket over the cars behind and you’ll catch the Redbulls, Ferraris, maybe a Hulkenberg in the Force India.  Behind them and on a good day maybe mixing it up, here come the McLarens and the Williams boys. Torro Rosso are nipping at their heels, Perez in the other Force India in there too.

The early reports of Redbulls demise appear to have been wide of the mark. The car is probably the most aerodynamically efficient and certainly cleanest looking machine. Danny has jumped in the car and, with no preconceptions or pressure of success, blown the old finger waver away. In three races he got the nod from the team to pass the increasingly grumpy Vettel to take the fight to the best of the rest. I have to say I’ve been impressed with Ricciardo. He’s got on with the job, appears to have a rapport with the media and the team, has a big grin on his face and is making the most of his chance in the sunshine. Whilst Vettel has demonstrated what a lot of people have said for the last four years, that given an average car, he’s an average driver. Stick him in the best car and he’ll win all day. But unlike say Lewis and Alonso, he’ll only take the car where it’s capable of going. No angelic choirs as he dances on the edge of disaster. Maybe he’s just forgotten how to develop a car into a race winner, now Webber isn’t there to do his donkey work!

Ferrari claim to have fixed their engine problems. Quite how they’ve made it lighter and faster is any ones conspiracy theory, my money is on pure luck. Things are disintegrating over in Italy, with finger pointing harsh words and Domenicali getting a royal shafting for his efforts to keep it all together.  Kimi is, as pretty much everyone expected, phoning in his race weekends. I'm still not sure why he went back to the prancing pony; Alonso is blowing his away as everyone said he would. He doesn’t like the car/tyres/colour/ice cream flavours/foot ware/dark glasses and ice cream flavours. Just to add insult to injury, Massa is ahead of him in the championship standings. Meanwhile Alonso is basically doing what he does best; drive second rate cars around and around picking up points and shaking his head in disbelief. The only thing that’s changed is the British national anthem gets played as he stands next to the winner, rather than the German one.

Force India are actually delivering on some of that promise of the last few years. Perez’s podium was just the sort a thing a team with money “issues” needs to gets some financial stability. Nico is picking up the points and proving yet again he is a proper talent. Okay, Nico: 6,5,5,6 - solid consistent finishes.  Perez 10, DNS, 3, 9 - the DNS was a car related issue and not his fault, the third a “right place right time grown a pair of balls result” and two back of the top ten finishes. So the car is fast, if the driver can unlock the potential and drive what he has under him. With a bit of luck and a trailing wind, more podiums are there for the taking.

Then we have the disappointing teams. McLaren were on the podium in Australia and Ron was happy. Then they dropped the ball and looked very amateurish again and Ron was unhappy, Very unhappy.  Do you remember Martin Whitmarsh ... he didn’t even get a chance to “take one for the team” like Domenicali ... he just disappeared one night and has never been seen again. There wasn’t even a hastily scribbled note next to a bottle of pills and a litre of cheap red wine ... one minute he was there, the next a cooling pit wall stool slowly rotating in the warm pre-test Spanish breeze.  And that’s what’s going to happen to some others real soon. Ron does not like his team to lose. He’s talked before about how it physically hurts him when the team losses and he’s been in a lot of pain recently. The word is the lack of front end downforce/grip has been fixed and they will be back at the front this weekend. Let’s wait and see shall we.

The other team that promised so much in pre season testing, Williams, has got a problem on its hands. Massa, yes that lovable, happy go lucky, smile on his as he gets told to move over chap, finally got sick of moving over and is out there doing whatever he damn well wants to now. The pitwall has spent these past weekends trying to remind the two boys that they are racing EVERYONE ELSE YOU IDIOTS, not each other. It’s entirely the teams fault with the insane call to Massa to get out of Bottas’s way at the second race.  There was no way he was going to move over for a punk half his age, what were they thinking?!?!?! But more worryingly for Frank, the car hasn’t really delivered the promised performance. I mean, yes, it’s better than the steaming turd that was the 2013 Williams as driven by the equally steaming turd that is Maldonado. But it’s not the car that was showing off with fastest laps in pre season testing. And now the likes of Redbull and Ferrari have got their development departments in max spend overdrive, there is no way Williams will be able to keep up, financially if nothing else. They’ve missed the boat and its going to be about damage limitation now, with increasingly acrimonious and disgruntled team mates.  

Now Torro Rosso, have sort of impressed, well Kvyat has, with better results than most expected, knocking around the bottom of the top ten.  Vergne lucked into an eighth at the first race and pretty much disappeared after that – come on, you’ve had four races now, without looking it up, what nationality is he ? What colour is his hair ? You have no idea do you  - But all in all its about where they were last year, so I don’t know if they’ve really done well or not. I mean they are ahead of Lotus and Sauber now, but is that really an achievement this year or just baseline performance? Are they just the point between teams that has performed well and those that have failed? “The back markers start here” perhaps ?

Then there is the row of woe, the walking dead and Maldonado. Sauber appear to have lost too much talent from the back room and are going nowhere with their Ferrari engine. The boys at Maranello say they’ve fixed all the problems with the software and its drink problem. But it’s heavy and just not fast enough, especially with and let’s be kind and call then the journey men, Sauber drivers.  There is just nothing exciting about the car is there ? Other than the fact it can survive an assault from Maldonado, it’s done nothing of any note. Five retirements between them, a best result of eleventh for Sutil. That has to be seen as a failure really, the car looks half finished and the team looks like its struggling to find the cash to carry on. As the bigger boys gear up the development curve, Sauber are just going to get left further and further behind.

Caterham, ho ho, what a debacle this is. They pretty much gave up last year after one race, to concentrate on having a car that could break into the top ten this year, they got in two handy drivers, went for some new talent, and a Japanese chap with big old cahoonas this time and in testing looked to be about to deliver on the plan. Then they got to Australia and failed to finish either car, then spent the next three races tooling around getting in everyone’s way. Then to add insult to injury when Kamui pulls off a last gasp lunge for seventeenth as the flag drops in China, the flag waver had appeared a lap too early and Kamui got shunted back to eighteenth.  It’s a mess and old Tone is going to sell up any day now. They are being beaten by Marussia. Plum dead last and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

So then Marussia who are currently ahead of Caterham with the aid of Max getting two thirteenth place finishes. Yeah I know who’d have predicted that Max was going to the saviour of Marussia. And you know what, they could even get a top ten with an enormous amount of luck, well a twelfth perhaps! But anyway yeah they’re not entirely hopeless. Max is ahead of Kobayashi, Maldonado, Ericsson and Bianchi ! he needs to be careful he doesn’t get a nose bleed up there.  Expect lots more of his happy gormless grinning if this keeps up.

And so to Lotus, this is just embarrassing now. The car is a mess; it doesn’t work, the engine only sort of work and Grosjean is trying his hardest to little affect. The only saving grace in this whole world of fail is that Hulkenberg isn’t being dragged down by it all. Then there is Maldonado who is just awful, and my current odds on driver to made to sit on the naughty step by the FIA. I know I go on about this idiot and he is the target for a lot of my ire, but he really is just a liability and he keeps proving it race after race.

So yeah, that’s a bit longer than I was intending.

Were back for the European season and as things stand i still thinks its a straight fight between Nico and Lewis for the title. Rosberg has, so far, been the faster of the two drivers. But its Hamilton that is taking the points (apart from the first race of course). If he wins here than I think he takes over the championships lead, Nico isn’t giving in and rolling over, but the fact he’s faster and still not winning, must be starting to get to him. Hamilton and the team are talking about “oh yeah its all happy days and high fives all round”. But that’s just misdirection, it’s going to kick off any day now, just you wait and see ;)

My prediction this weekend ... the pick a Mercs you fancy, Danny, Alonso, The Hulk with maybe a McLaren and either of the two Williams boys. Pot luck on a Torro Rosso or Vettel in the top ten, an outside bet would be Sutil in Sauber.

Pole Lewis or Nico, Vettel might feel he has something to prove. So far Lewis is up three, Nico has one.

Fastest lap is another straight Merc fight, whoever doesn’t get off the line cleanly and has to race back at the end.  So far Rosberg is three to Hamilton’s one, proving the German is the faster driver, sort of.

Last place ... well Max would be your normal go to guy here. But I think Ericsson in the underperforming Caterham might be the better bet. But never underestimate Max’s ability to be two laps behind the winner.

So there we go, don’t forget to update your predictions before Friday and good luck J

Bahrain, I'm not expecting a lot of actually racing ...

Okay, Bahrain then, which now appears to be perfectly fine to go and visit, remember all that hoo harr a couple of years back, dirt poor people getting shot at, mass arrests ? … yeah… all gone now, perfectly fine as I say. Just don’t go talking to the local’s okay, if you can find one in the stands of course! Apparently, the gate was 30% down in Malaysia hence the look of a rather empty park on a Sunday afternoon in the west midlands. The naysayers will have it that the “lack of any sort of sound is driving the fans away”, but they are idiots so I can quite happily ignore them.  I suspect it’s more to do with the cost of a ticket.  There are races this year that you’ll need to take out a second mortgage to afford a weekend ticket for, let alone a grandstand ticket.

And the crowd goes wild !!

Ahem… sorry, went off on one there. Right, okay.

 It’s a fast turnaround for the teams so there won’t be too many updated parts on offer. Only the “post pre-season test” stuff that was on stream before the season started, so don’t expect things to be too different from last week.

Merc still the team to beat, Lewis looked peerless over Nico, but the German has usually gone well here.  I imagine they’ll be up the front as normal, Nico for pole… perhaps. 

 Redbull next with its dodgy fuel flow sensors, Danny is due some luck, until he gets told to get out of Vettels way of course. There was a suggestion doing the rounds that the FIA are going to scrap the fuel flow rule until they get the sensors sorted out. I don’t know if that was an April fool, I wouldn’t put it past them to change the rules randomly. As the other teams aren’t whinging about them it might just be a Redbull thing, like the tyres last year. Changing the rules worked brilliantly there didn’t they. Anyway, pre-season testing was a nightmare in Bahrain, the heat cooking the Renault engine, they look like they’ve sorted that problem but they’re short of a few horses at the top end. Vettel was a gnats underpants from pole in the wet, I would be VERY surprised if they are that close in the dry here. But the cars got the grip for the twisty bits so … top five, a podium might elude them I think.

Ferrari is still too slow and they need a podium here or they’re just going to get lost this season. Kimi looked happier in Malaysia; Alonso was still the one that got the points though.

McLaren, Kev landed with a bump last weekend and Button just continued where he’d left off. They weren’t fast enough on the fast sweeping bits of Sepang which was a surprise to the team, who had been expecting to be on the podium. McLaren can develop a car like no other team, when they have a direction and path to follow. Let’s hope Malaysia was just a blip. Their PR department has gone into a bit of a tizzy telling anyone that will listen that, “things have gone horrible wrong and they have no idea how to fix it” which is either desperate misdirection or a desperate warning to the sponsors. Talking of which still no title sponsor on the old bodywork you’ll notice. I imagine Big Ron’s going to pull something AMAZING out from under his cloak … any … minute .. .nooooooooowwwwwwwww!

Williams, with only a week between races there isn’t enough time for a full blown self-righteous indignation huff to build up a head of steam. Telling Massa to get out of the way was a mistake at only the second race of the season, and I think the team accept that now. Rob Smedley and Pat Symonds will both be at the track in Bahrain so wise heads might keep everyone a bit more focused on the job. Especially as the car didn’t look quite so special as it had in Australia, lost time now banging heads together and organizing the pit wall crew is going to cost them their chance of points. Win, then you can argue who is the best driver!

Force India, well Hulkenburg will be mixing it up with the front runners as usual, the pit wall will try and hobble him and Perez will be his usual anonymous dull self.

Torro Rosso and I think Kvyat might be worth watching, he’s certainly delivered so far, in a scary Russian war machine kind of way. Watching him being interviewed you get the impression he has contempt for pretty much everyone; the lads got self-belief and distain oozing out of every pore, you have to be impressed by that.

As for the rest, well Sauber; still grey, Caterham; still green and Marussia; still Max.  None of that lot will make it to the top ten and it’ll be another Max v Ericsson for last place (Max).

You have until Thursday midnight to sort your predictions out. Good luck one and all.   

It all starts here

Welcome to the new 1.6 litre V6 turbo engine era, which is augmented with energy recovery systems that harvest energy when braking and deliver power when accelerating. The teams have a lot more energy to play with and no limit on when or how much KERS they can use they also have less fuel than ever before and limits on fuel flow rate for the race.

Trick systems to limit wheel spin, keep the turbo spinning to reduce turbo lag and aid braking are now allowed. This is a completely new way of going racing, speed isn’t everything. Strategy and the careful use of the resources are what are going to get the car to the line first.  

That’s not to suggest the racing will be dull, if team A disappears off into the distance, team B will reach them eventually with their more conservative approach. Reliability is going to be of absolutely paramount importance. To finish first, first you have to finish and testing has shown that some teams had forgotten that.

Renault have got it very wrong, the engine is too hot and needs far more cooling than they realised.

Mercedes turned up to the first test, pressed the GO button and haven’t looked back.

Ferrari have a thirsty but fast engine.

The midfield is as tight as ever, the tail end Charlies could well be fighting for more than pride this year and its all change at the front.

Right then, here are the runners and riders of 2014. We have the team and the engine they will be using, the drivers and the numbers they have chosen to go into battle with.

Caterham – Renault

Because they couldn’t afford to spend any time or money on the car, they just went with a bunch of bits kicking around the back of the garage. This thing has radiators about the size of north Wales. And as a result they have done more laps than Redbull by a country mile. This thing is probably going to be the only Renault car that makes it to the finish line in Australia. They actually stand a pretty good chance of getting some points. And if that happens we might start to see the, conspicuous by his absence, Tony Fernandez back in the pit lane.

He seems to have lost a bit of his love for F1 these past month, time was you could always rely on Tone to turn up on the post race show and tell the world that, “Caterham were going to be massive any minute now”.

But the results didn’t come and they were beaten into last place by Marussia last year.  So this year they’ve read the rules, realised that getting to the end is what’s going to count and built a car to do just that. They’re like the Ryan air of the F1 world. It’s the very definition of no frills racing, FINISH and the points will come, is the mantra.

19 – Ericsson: The latest cheque book to walk through the door. Apparently something of a whizz in the lower formulas, so you know, let’s see how he does. Realistically his job will be to beat Max.

10 – Kobayashi: Still crazy after all these years. Head and shoulders the best driver Caterham have ever had. He has, however been making some rather disparaging remarks about the car being slower than an F2 car and about as exciting to drive. So we’ll see how this relationship pans out.

Chance of a top ten – Maybe, certainly the best Renault engine for the first half of the season

Marussia – Ferrari

This could just be good year for these lads. They have lots of feisty new engineers and techy people from Cranfield and the like, which might mean it takes a bit to find their feet the higher up the field they go. But they defiantly are the small team it’s okay to root for, they still need money to keep up with the development curve so the early races are vital to impress wavering sponsors.

They did alright last year on less than a shoestring budget.

04 – Chilton: He’s still got a great name and you just have to love that happy puppy dog grin he has when he explains why he was three laps behind the winner.  Last year was an easy gig because the car was rubbish and he had no experience, now they have much better engine and he knows which way the tracks go. So he’d better not be 3 laps behind the winner this year.

17 – Bianchi: It turns out he wasn’t the next big thing, but he still has a big enough cheque book to keep his seat for yet another year. He’ll beat max again, probably the Caterham’s and possible a Renault car to two. 

Chance of a top ten – Reasonable as with Caterham, the Renault engine cars once again have problems

Williams – Mercedes

Lots of people are talking these boys and girls up. They didn’t have too many problems in testing, lots of miles on the car, they’ve got the Merc power unit that looks to be pretty much on song and they’ve got a lot of money from the new title sponsor Martini.

They also, and this is crucial, got rid of that idiot Maldonado and got Massa in who is alright when he isn’t being told to get out of Alonso’s way. This is going to be the year Frank and the team get it all together and they stand on the top step again. The car looks fantastic in its new livery, Bottas is solidly fast and Massa won’t stuff it in the wall each week.

I know I keep saying this, but I really do have a soft spot for Williams, they are a proper little team and they used to be such a power house of win back in the Honda days. They were the benchmark in the early 80’s but the glory is well behind them now and they are but a shadow of that team that took Nigel and Damon to the championship. They were plucky and innovative, British through and through and Frank deserves one more season in the sun before he retires. Go on Frank, lead the faithful back to the path of glory, back to the halls of Avalon and eternal Immortality.

19 – Massa: Has never been the same since the accident in Hungary, but he’s alright, he does what he needs to do and on a good day with a trailing wind he’s almost as fast as he was in the good old days. If you want a man to go out there and diver with his heart and soul this is the man. He used to be able to give Schumacher a run for his money when he was on top form and whilst I doubt those days will return he isn’t going to tool around getting in peoples way and smearing the car down the wall every race. He is, in fact, the perfect Anti Maldonado for the money. He’s a nice guy, who can help develop a car and pick up the points you need to win a championship.  

77 – Bottas: I really rate Bottas, he didn’t moan in front of the camera or bad mouth the team last year, he got his head down learnt the tricks of the trade and picked up the points when he could. He is fast, he isn't a liability and he’s got a car that can do the job needed.

Chance of a top ten – Excellent, maybe even a tilt at the constructors title.

Torro Rosso - Renault

They could well beat their big brother team this year with their conservative design which has allowed for more cooling. But yet again you have to ask why they bother, they’re not even really an off shoot of Redbull anymore, they’re an independent team that trains drivers for other Redbull .. or the dole. I think they’ll pick up points, here and there, maybe ... who cares ? 

25 – Vergne: still dull, can you picture his face ... No ? ... I can’t either, how about his nationality, without looking it up, where is he from, can you remember his accent ? That is all you need to know about him ... in fact is it even a him? It could just be a wax work of Lord Lucan for all you know, you have no idea who I'm talking about do you, it could be a big collection of old rags draped round the wax form of a disgraced member of the British aristocracy and you would have no idea. ... . I fully expect this to be Vergne’s last year, or possible first half of a season, before he gets lost in some airport on the other side of the world and the first the team realise he’s gone is when no one get in the car at the next race.

26 – Kvyat: Continues Putin’s attempts at world domination by the Russian war racing machine. Apparently he is better than expected, so he might be alright given the random season ahead. He cleared up in formula Renault or F3 or euro something or other. I have no idea but some commentators are talking him up so you never know.

Chance of a top ten – Meh, probably not. Maybe last place but yeah, the top ten could elude them if the Merc and Ferrari boys keep it on the grey stuff.

Sauber – Ferrari

It’s not as exciting as we’re used to seeing from the Swiss boys so far. This used to be the team Newey would always go and look at first; they had ideas, design detail and interesting bits. But they looked a bit out of sorts in Spain and Bahrain. The car didn’t look ready for the start of testing and one could, if they were feeling mean, could start to question where the finance is coming from again. They ran for three days with broken bodywork at the start of testing, new bits not ready of something, because, you know, the date for the start of testing is a big secret that only everyone else in the entire world knows about ! How could they possible know they needed extra cars bits ready for the first test which they knew nothing about ???  

 But its Sauber isn’t it. Not too exciting to look at, nothing really exciting on the pit wall and nothing really exciting at all sat in the car either. It’s all very average and a bit dull and not terribly interesting. Think of grey paint drying on a wet day with the window open and a damp breeze blowing gently into the room slowly moving little piles of dust in the corners of the room, it’s not quite cold enough to make you want to shut the window or indeed actually dry the paint. You sit staring dejectedly at the grey paint noticing where you’ve smudged a small area here, dabbed the skirting board there, it’s not enough to get up fix in the cool damp air. So the paint remains damp, slightly sticky and still very, very grey. That’s Sauber.

21 – Gutierrez: Gets another crack at looking useful in a race suit. Let’s see if he can avoid hitting anyone else this year. At least I know he’s Mexican, but the face is still a bit hazy, I'm not confident I could pick him out a police line up.... actually thinking about it .. is he Mexican ?

99 – Sutil: Swaps seats with Hulkenberg ... which is probably more to do with money than talent. But he’s alright, nothing spectacular, moments to slightly raise an eyebrow over perhaps. German, he is certainly German  though.

Chance of a top ten – errr, well yes, but .... sorry I can’t stop thinking about that grey paint !

Force India – Mercedes

This is the other dark horse of the field with its Merc engine they have the pace and as much reliability as the other customer Merc teams. They’ve had a bit of a choppy time in testing but when it all works bang on program it flies along and gives the works team a proper run for its money. But ... and this is a big BUT, once again you have to wonder how this is all being paid for ? VJ is still a shady character that you wouldn’t trust with your wallet or even the loose change in your pocket. His business partner Sahara has just been arrested in India for being extremely dodgy.

There are some ugly rumours being spread around that suppliers are not being paid in a timely fashion, that makes riding the development curve difficult if the guys supplying the nuts and bolts are waiting for cheques to clear before they send the next batch in.

Last year It was all a bit of a mess on the pit wall too, with some really wacky strategy calls and no one seemingly able to spot that a car going 7 seconds slower than a Marussia needed to come in and change its tyres. Then they’d save tyres in qualifying and not use them in the race! Maybe VY was hoping to get some money back when he returned them to Pirelli?

So if the rozzers don’t come storming in and arrest the management for embezzling the coffee fund and if they stopping making wacky strategy calls and just play to their strength (whatever they are now I come to think about it) they should be up there giving Ferrari a run for its money and wins could be on the cards.

11 – Perez: Still dull, got a bit of a pasting at McLaren so let’s see how his head is after being fired. If you need a driver to stand in front of the camera and nod stupidly whilst grinning inanely and Max isn’t available, Perez with his shed load of Mexican money is your man.

27 – Hulkenberg: I think Hulkenberg is the real deal, I think Lotus have made yet another huge mistake in not taking him and at the same time I think Hulkenberg dodged a career ending move to that slowly collapsing pack of idiots. The Hulk has bounced around numerous teams now and always without exception pulled out top line drives when the chance presents itself. You know you can tell the good drivers from the Maldonado’s because they get more out of the car than its capable of. Give Alonso or Hamilton a rubbish car and they will still get you points. That’s what Hulkenberg can do, and I don;t understand why the likes of Ferrari and McLaren aren’t climbing over each other to sign him!

Chance of a top ten – Nailed on I’d say, IF ... and this is a big IF they money is there any the rozzers don’t bust the whole thing wide open.

McLaren – Mercedes

One minute it was all peaceful and sunny, the cows were chewing the cud, the butterflies fluttering too and fro across the meadow, the very picture of a tranquil summer afternoon in a very British countryside. Then the very pits of hell rent asunder and a huge tower of basalt rock thrust up through the meadow with the cows, black as night and lit up like some huge stage prop at a Motorhead concert, thunder rolled around the world and lighting smote the slack jawed fools stupid enough to stand and stare at the return of Big Bad RON

 He fired the jolly nice Mr Whitmarsh, poached the rather grumpy French Mr Boullier by promising to actually pay for his services unlike his previous team Lotus. And then this new look team started testing, and every one not smote or slack jaw went

“Wow”

Then suddenly they appear to lose the plot again, how do they do this ? really they were all over Mercedes as the team to beat this year then suddenly it all fell apart at the last test and oh would you Adam and Eve it, they don’t appear to understand the car and how to push it forward and what to develop and all the some problems they’ve had for the last few seasons. And Ron looked angry again.

Also on the horizon of doom, is the continuing question about the legality or otherwise of the rear suspension. You’re not supposed to use the suspension parts for anything other than stopping the wheels from flapping around uselessly at the corners of the car, McLaren are supposedly using theirs to generate downforce and sell crack to kids on street corners or something. All the other teams took one look and raised a collective eyebrow, looked at their own designers with a “well ? Why didn’t you think of that you idiot?” look, then started reading the rule book to find something wrong with the McLaren.

I'm not sure what the bulgy bits do but some of the teams that have unreliable French motors rather than a ruthless German ones are unhappy about them. So expect a few waved arms and disgruntled team bosses until Ron lasers them with his eyes of death and sneer of invincibly. Those slack jawed idiots don’t stand a chance.

20 – Magnusson: You fire Perez and get a young gun in, and you get a young gun in because he’s got talent and guts and expressly not because he’s got a wad of filthy tenners in his back pocket and the ability to stand and talk at the same moment as a camera is pointed towards him. This is how it should be done you midfield teams that will never amount to anything. Magnusson is here on pure merit and talent and he paid the confidence back at the first test with fastest lap after fastest lap. He was out there taking it to the Mercedes. He wasn’t overawed by the limelight, he got in the car went fast and didn’t come back to the pits trailing bits of broken carbon fibre behind him. This kid is the real deal, he is the next Hamilton.

22 – Button: Jenson lost his father in January this year and whilst I would sometimes be a bit disparaging of his gurning and blatant ligging of John Button. I could appreciate how proud of his son he was and how much he meant to Jenson. John would let Jenson take all the lime light and knew when to step back and let his lad get on with being a famous racing driver, and if a camera crew required someone to be a cheer leader for the plucky English lad with a glass of wine in his hand he was absolutely your man.  Jensen’s father was a massive part of team Button and his loss is going to be hard for Jenson to deal with, I hope he can put a good year together and do justice to the memory of one of the characters of the pit lane. I get the impression there are a lot of people that will miss the bluff old duffer.

Chance of a top ten – absolutely you can count on it, wins certainly ... if the car isn’t deemed illegal after first practice of course.

Lotus – Renault

Was the missing first test a mistake? The problems with the Renault engines suggest not, but even a few miles of data is better than none. Money and headless chicken management insanity might well conspire to rob them of points.

They were the only team to really give Vettel a run for his money last year, but it was all starting to unravel in the background. With the sale of the team that wasn’t on, then was, then was to a different bunch of management nitwit, then it was off again and then Kimi stated asking awkward questions about when he was going to be paid. Then he flounced off to Ferrari and told the team what it could do with its contracts. They signed Hulkenberg, because they were going to be bought by some shady geezer they’d met whilst on holiday in Goa last august who promised to have the money just a soon as his mates got there from some Middle Eastern backwater. Then he disappeared and suddenly they didn’t have the money to pay Nico, so they send him a text “soz seat not yorz M8 lolz soz” then in a rather unseemly display of greed, lack of integrity and blatant desperation hired Maldonado for his Venezuelan oil money.

At no stage did they say, “He’s the talent we want, he’s the driver we feel can give us the best chance of a championship. We want Pastor because he’s fast and a tenacious driver that delivers results”. No they said he has a shed full of cash and they wanted it.

McLaren picked up Eric Boullier days later. And I really hope Eric went because he was disgusted by the way the whole affair had been handled. I hope he had the integrity to walk away from such a mean spirited and calculated act of greed.

I personally think it’s a disgrace to the name of Lotus, I really do.

08 – Grosjean: Well he did alright last year and had a very good end to the season. He was regularly on the podium and even made Vettel look in his mirrors a couple of times. But this year I think it’s all going to be for nothing. They don’t have the pit wall team anymore, a suit is running the show and that always works out so well.  Grosjean is an alright driver and actually, you know what I think he’s going to waste a year of his talent here. He’ll blow Pastor out of the water but that will be scant reward

13 – Maldonado: I don’t have the words to describe how little I think of this man. I think he’s a liability, I think he gets moments of red mist insanity, I think he holds grudges, I don’t think he has the ability to learn from  his mistakes and I think he makes far too many mistakes. I think at time he is a disgraceful driver .. the attack on Perez during practice in Monaco, taking out Hamilton in Spain. He is a glory hunter... trying to driver Alonso off the track in Australia rather than pick up points for Williams. His one win was luck, because Hamilton was robbed of the result he deserved. But his greatest crime was to bad mouth the Williams team after he spent the season driving like a total idiot. He is the perfect example of a driver that has bought his seat and is under the mistaken belief he’s some sort of driving God. He isn’t and he’s danger to himself and others.

Chance of a top ten – None, if there is any justice. Which is a bit harsh on Grosjean, but he should have left and gone to a team with some integrity.

Ferrari – Ferrari

Well, it’s the same old story at Maranello, have they built a car worthy of Alonso and now Kimi? Maybe … maybe not. Alonso has talked about having to relearn how to save fuel, going as far as to how to save fuel during a pit stop. All the cars now have 100kg of fuel from the moment they leave the pits until they get back to parc ferme at the end of the race where there has to be a litre or so left to test. Running out of fuel on the slowing down lap is going to get the book thrown at you and no points for the weekends work. The car has to use all these new fangled energy recovery systems to make the rocket fuel go further, it’s not about push to pass buttons, it’s about making F1 cars do more than 5 mpg. Mercedes appear to have an efficient engine with a healthy energy recovery system. Renault, well,  who knows what they have, I don’t think they even know if their system is efficient yet. And Ferrari has, it would appear, a thirsty system.

Testing has put them somewhere around the second half of the top ten, with Williams and Force India, maybe McLaren on a good day. But they’ve not been “a front runner” like Force India and Mercedes. Is this because they are trying to make the fuel last? That’s the suspicion. And if Alonso is working out how to save fuel during pit stops, they might have a bit of a problem. If they have to go out and chase the Mercedes they’re going to burn lots of fuel, then cruse round for the last ten laps and hope others hit reliability trouble.

07 – Kimi: I'm still not sure why he’s here, this is Alonso’s team now, not his and they didn’t really like him when he was here last either. So things must have been bad at Lotus for the grumpy Fin to come back to the last team to fire him. He proved he’s still got the where with all to win a race with a duff car, which might come in handy down Maranello way. But Ferrari need a team leader who can tell them what to do, not a monosyllabic Scandinavian who would rather spend the night drinking vodka and slipping tenners into garter belts then pouring over torque curve data. It just feels like a step back and a hands in the pockets kicking stones in the gutter walk to school on a wet Monday morning move. It had to be done, but only because no one else wanted him.  Then he totalled the car at the last test. Not a great start to the new season

14 – Alonso: Well this has to be the last chance of some glory doesn’t it. If only they had given him a car to match his talents. But if anyone can take a slightly duff car to the top step it’s got to be Alonso. I‘m not sure if Kimi is a hindrance, distraction or motivation factor.  Historically he’s not played well with drivers that can give him a run for his money. But Kimi is pretty much immune to the mind games so the Spaniard might have to bite the bullet and just get on with it. It’s an interesting dynamic, with the potential of some proper histrionics. Or it might just dissolve into a bit of half hearted grumpy stares and a few well chosen “private briefings of trusted media sources”

Chance of a top ten – either they’ll run out of juice 5 laps from home, or they’ll pass the Merc cars really slowly as they all try to save fuel with 3 laps to go.

Mercedes – Mercedes

If it’s possible to win the pre season winter testing war, then Mercedes crushed the opposition into the dust, stamped on the bits and them swept them up and buried them in the Bahrain dessert. Just like they did last year … Do you remember? How Hamilton and Rosberg put a gazillion miles on the 2013 car and everyone had them as season favourites …. Right up to the final days of the last test when Lotus and Redbull bolted on the soft stuff and suddenly went a lot faster.

Well it’s different this time.

No, really it is.

Due mainly to the fact the non Mercedes powered teams have yet to do a race distance, at any sort of speed, or a full chat qualifying run. So this time, at the dawn of a new Era, Mercedes are in the driving seat with the most miles and possibly the most reliable car. Whether it’s the fastest is pretty much immaterial for now, it will almost certainly get to the end of the race, and that’s the key thing this year. If the Renault engines all go bang after 10 laps and the Ferrari runs out of go juice 5 laps from the end, it’s going to be about the Merc engine cars and where they are. And you would expect the works team to be ahead of any customer teams.

44 – Hamilton: This is it, he’s going to do it this year ......... if he can learn to not burn out the tyres, thrash the engine or rip through the fuel load. If he manages to do all of that, it’s his to lose.

06 – Rosberg: The thinking is, Nico will be better at getting the a fragile car home at the start of the season, if he can stay focussed these two are going to be fighting each other for the championship.

Redbull – Renault

You remember last year, the second half of the season was a Redbull fest, wasn’t it. Week after week Vettel would lead Webber home and we all got bored of the game. Well it turns out Redbull were still developing their 2013 whilst everyone else had given up and were quietly tinkering with their 2014 cars.

Each week everyone else would pull the dust sheets off their 2013 car, roll it out, get beaten by a country mile, shrug and then go back to working on the new car. Redbull it would appear believed they were in some sort of race for the championship. Then after the season ended in Brazil Redbull blew up their engines for all the media to watch, bit of a PR stunt, “let’s have a laugh , ho ho”. All the other teams, meanwhile, were on the plane home putting the finishing touches to their 2014 cars.

Redbull, it seems have got it spectacularly wrong! Not only is Renault behind with the development of their new hybrid energy recovery system, and it appears years behind Mercedes. But the word is they got the numbers wrong when they tested the engine on the dyno. The heat dissipation numbers they gave to the teams, were far too low, even with the wick turned down, the turbo, engine and electrical recovery systems are pumping out a magnitude more heat then they though. The first test saw Renault engine after Renault engine cook itself within a matter of laps. And having told the teams, “oh, it’s a pretty cool runner, no need for too much cooling on your new cars, no worries” Redbull took that to mean they didn’t need any cooling at all around the KERS battery and sub systems.

Day after day at the winter tests, the Redbull had more and more holes cut into its bodywork. Pipes were desperately being gaffer tapped into bodywork to direct cool air over the alternator or batteries.

Redbull are weeks away from being ready for the start of the season. They have done a handful of laps, nothing really at race pace, certainly no qualifying runs. In warmer weather the car has a life span measured in minutes. A gearbox that has a nasty habit of seizing suddenly and an electrical system that doesn’t seem to be able to cope with all the demands placed on it. The talk around Redbull is of a new car by the Spanish GP. A ground up, redesigned car! Imagine the amount of money they are throwing at this, Marussia and Sauber are scratching around for spare cash under the sofa and behind the filing cabinet. Redbull are building a whole new car for the fifth race of the season. From the looks of things, they’re going to need it.

01 – Vettel: Let’s see how he goes when he’s not in the fastest bestest sexy car. Let’s see how he goes in a rubbish car that bursts into flames after 15 laps. See how the ego lives with abject failure shall we. He’s probably handle it with no problems at all, but where’s the fun in that. If however, they turn this thing around are in with a shout at the last race with its stupid double points reward ... I just know he’ll bloody well do it won’t he. Hurrumph

03 – Ricciardo: 6 months ago when he signed the Redbull contract he must have though all his Christmases had come at once, now he’s going to be spending the season testing parts for Vettel to race the following week.

Chance of top ten – Based on the testing evidence .. Not a chance, but F1 Is nothing if not about the money and the richest team by a country mile will be on the podium before the of the year..you just wait and see..

So there you go. Pick your favourites and settle back for the most unpredictable year in a very long time.

Good luck