End of season larks.

Okay so not the most exciting race for the win really but there was some cracking action for the minor places.

If only Nico could do this sort of thing for a whole year and not just when is doesn't matter anymore. Yes I know he's not had the rub of the green this year with more mechanical issue than Lewis. But like a lot of his career in F1 he just spent some races sleep walking though the weekend. And yes I know his wife had some issues with the pregnancy and that would obviously take his mind off the gig. But after last year and having the thing go down to the last race. This year has been something of an anticlimaxs. Only Vettel has made it interesting at times.

But all that's for the end of year final rant.

Well done Nico on a top of the draw race result. Pole was pretty easy after Lewis had sort of dominated the practice sessions; and it was much like last year in that respect Nico taking the spoils after Lewis won the battles, a Lewis who had turned up under something of a cloud too. A bit of late night partying left three cars with damage and the recently crowned world champion advised to rest up for a day or two with his "fever". Not very media friendly and Mercedes were at pains to limit any adverse publicity; Lewis waved it all off as just a bit of thing and it didn't appear to affect his performance on track. But being beaten yet again to pole, the fifth time in a row, Hamilton didn't bother to stand out front with Nico and Vettel for the obligatory photo call. You could call it petulance, I couldn't possible comment.

Maybe he was off enjoying the latest Alonso meme to go viral

Now you may not have noticed, but McLaren are having a bit of a bad year. Yes, that's why the boys haven't been seen around the podium much this year. And to give them their dues, neither Jenson nor Alonso have really thrown a tantrum about. Alonso made few disparaging remarks about the Honda engine in Japan for which Big Ron had to confirm Jenson was going to get a drive next year in an attempt to deflect some of the flac.  But generally the lads have been honest in front of the media and just said "Yeah sure, the car is a bit of a mess and the engine needs some work. But the whole team is working on this and it is a problem we'll fix together". They've tried to put a bit of positive spin on an otherwise hopeless situation.

Until now that is, it seems Alonso has had enough of jumping out of a smoking car and when the car expired yet again at the start of qualifying he cried "enough". Without even a look back at the failed McLaren Honda, he trudged up the hill and sat down on one of the marshal's chairs to calmly watch the rest of Q1.  But then the chair was moved and Alonso had an impromptu photo shoot in the sun with qualifying for a backdrop. Rather than throw a strop and flounce off to shout at someone, he sat and he waited.

A lazy afternoon in Brazil

Looks relaxing doesn't it. He looks peaceful, at rest in a turbulent world, the cares of a career falling apart and three world titles forgotten in the mire of racing against year old Marussias.

This image was too good to resist and before Nico had taken pole the #wherewouldalonsoratherbe meme was going viral across the internet.

Relaxing with friends earlier

Then to cap it all the boys staged a podium invasion, just to remind themselves what it used to be like standing on the top step.

What a jolly good wheeze.

And so to the race; Well Nico won, Lewis tried to catch him but couldn't pass him and Vettel had the team tell Kimi to get out of the way.

The only highlight was Verstappen over taking anyone who got in his way and is looking more and more like future world champion with every lap.

It wasn't the most exciting race I've ever watched, but it was interesting to See Nico give Lewis a bit of a lesson on how to control a race. But there wasn't much Lewis could do really, after last year and the accusations of unfair team tactics, this year booth cars run exactly the same strategy so neither can accuse the team of favouritism. The only way Hamilton could pass Rosberg is if he changed his strategy and tried a short of long middle stint. The team told him that wasn't going to happen so he had a half hearted attack and settled for second. Not as I say terrible exciting, but Merc want to make sure of the PR result. Not "drivers take each other out" headlines.

So then Nico won and made it look easy. The result secured second place in the championship. Which is nice.

Lewis made it look hard work in second.

Vettel had a lonely race to third after Kimi got out of his way. He has now secured third place in the championship, which is a damn sight more than he would have got with Redbull this year.

Kimi was the perfect team mate in fourth.

Bottas was William only saving grace as it turned out in fifth

It was Hulkenberg's turn to be the best Force India driver this week in sixth.

Kvyat was hamstrung with a Renault engine in seventh.

Now.... on the road Massa was eighth. But according to the result from the FIA he has been excluded for a technical infringement. What happened was; the FIA take the temperature and pressure of random cars just before the race starts. This week it was Massa's turn and to quote technical document 40 from the FIA

"On the grid the tread temperature and minimum tyre starting pressure of the right hand side rear tyre was checked on car number 19 after the “5-minutes” signal was given.

The temperature measured on the tread of the right hand side rear tyre of car number 19 was 137°C, 27 °C above the maximum tread temperature of 110 °C allowed by the official tyre supplier. The corresponding tyre pressure at 137 °C was 20.6 psi, 0.1 psi above the minimum starting pressure"

Which basically means the tyre was too hot and the pressure too low. When the race started and the tyre cooled down the pressure would drop below the minimum required by Pirelli to stop teams' whinging when they explode. Now you might ask why only one tyre was that hot and clearly that must mean there was a problem with the tyre blanket. Tyres should just not be that hot.

But rules is rules and the FIA do like to throw their weight around to remind everyone that actually they're the ones in charge .. Not Bernie or the teams.

So now Grosjean is eighth and jolly well done to him on what must have been a difficult weekend for him.

Verstappen makes it to ninth and was the most exciting driver out there.

And Crazy Maldonado was tenth despite getting a five second penalty for being an arse yet again.

Stevens beat Rossi for a change so the America is our last placed driver four laps behind the Mercs. That's got to hurt hasn't? All that money and effort to still be a country mile away from the action!

 

I'm not even going to bother qualifying. 

Not as dull as expected shocker.

Well I'll be, that wasn't too bad in the end. Well okay I did fall asleep for a lap or two in the middle. But I've been up since midnight watching the WEC race from Japan which was, by the way an absolute belter.

Okay, well this is going to be a bit short I'm afraid as the France v Ireland game kicks off in a bit so I have to be ready for that.

Firstly congratulation to Mercedes for securing the Constructors world title today, they needed Kimi to t bone Bottas and get a time penalty to achieve it, but let's be honest it was pretty much a forgone conclusion from about Australia wasn't it. Ferrari had a go at making a fight of it, but the only thing that was going to beat them was reliability, certainly not a Renault or Ferrari engine.

Almost but not quite there, Lewis has one hand on the big silver trophy tonight. He needs to beat Nico by 10 points and Sebastian by 2 in the next race in America and he's home free, given how well he's driving at the moment,  I can't see there being much problem for him .. Once again the only thing that could stop him is reliability.  

And that's the tricky one it's the little things inside the cars that's causing problems for Mercedes at the moment, Lewis failed to finish in Singapore for want a 3 penny spring in the engine.  Now Nico fails to finish because of a washer in the throttle control.  Small stuff that ruins the race and can rob a driver of the title, so it's not all cut and dried just yet!

So Lewis inherited his win, but would probably have passed Nico at some point, or not, who knows. He failed to get pole as like everyone else he couldn't dial the car into the circuit. The limited running they all had meant they had to make a few guesses along the way and Lewis operates best when the car is right underneath him. Nico is the one that can take a loose car and adapt his driving style, it's probably the only thing he's better than Lewis at.   But it was all mote when the throttle stopped working on Hamilton's only real opposition, the Williams didn't have the Legs and Vettel was too far back to push the Merc. So it was a relatively easy win in the end, although there was a slight question about the rear win in the closing laps as Lewis reported it might be loose.  See Lady Luck is a cheeky Minx.

Vettel was second and had to remind Kimi just who was in charge. He got the fastest lap at the end chasing Hamilton.

Perez was third and looked like he'd just won the world championship. Okay he had to rely on Kimi taking out Bottas (lots of people will be buying Kimi a beer on the plan home tonight I suspect) but he put himself there with a trade mark "looking after the tyres on a long run" race. Something he's had a lot of practice at over the years and no, it's not pretty but it gets the results and Force India deserves a break.

Massa was largely anonymous driving from the back of the field to fourth, a poor  qualifying  making life difficult for the Williams driver.

Home boy Kvyat was fifth on a bad day for Renault engine drivers.

Nasr has a good run to sixth to remind everyone that Sauber are still there.

Maldonado wasn't the one to smear a Lotus down the wall this week. Hurrah, he was seventh at the end and the team felt he could have tried just a little bit harder.  

Kimi is eventually classified eighth, the stewards gave him a stiff talking too about driving standards and handed him a 30 second "stop, hold and go" penalty. I think he also gets a grid penalty for a third stiff talking too and points on his licence or something. But I'll check that before we get to America.

Button was ninth with a rubbish underpowered dog of a car and engine. The McLaren headquarters has this big atrium area with all the cars they are most proud of, Le Mans winners and the cars Bruce McLaren designed, stuff like that. The 2015 F1 McLaren Honda should be front and centre, the very first car all the employees should see first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Just to remind them how badly they all got it wrong and how it feels to fail so abjectly. No one ever improved looking at the things that went right, you learn from the things that humiliate you in front of the world.

And finally tenth goes to Verstappen because even though Alonso finished tenth on the road, he didn't feel the need to respect the track limits repeatedly even after the stewards told him to stop being so naughty.   So he got a post race five second penalty and Verstappen beat him to the points by 2.786 seconds.  Tough, tough but fair.

Okay last man standing was Will Stevens who is rapidly becoming Max like in his ability to be rubbish.

Right the rugby is about to start so I'll end it there. See you in two weeks for the crowning of a new champion in Texas.  

Lewis Hamilton, then and now.

Do you remember this chubby faced little driver, the boy from Stevenage who done good and won a world title?

I used to think he was the second coming, I really did. He would get into the car week after week and absolutely spank it to the limit where even the angels get nervous.

That first year Hamilton rocked up there was a big hoopla about it all. This virtually unknown kid that had won a few lower formula races and stuff, the regular media had never heard of him, the F1 press pack kind of knew who he was. The only thing they had for Lewis was the fabled “I done told Ron Dennis I was going to drive for him one day" heart warming story. The day Lewis the karting prodigy walked up to Ron at the Autosport awards and buttonholed Mr McLaren for a job, it was precocious and heart warming all at once. How cute, how just like Lewis. Ron was instantly smitten with this boy with a gleam in his eye so he immediately wrote the boy a cheque and told him to come down the factory for a seat fitting on Monday morning. “You and me lad, we’ll go all the way. Natch".

When you think about it though, just how many people walk up to Ron and ask him for sponsorship of their fledging journey to F1 on a daily basis? Right now how many dads are calling the McLaren factory looking to impress the boss do you think, hundred? thousands? If you’ve ever called the McLaren PR department looking for a few caps to give away as prizes for instants, you’ll know they could teach the North Koreans a thing or two about stonewalling interested parties.

But the reality was Lewis was picked up by McLaren and fast tracked into F1 with much fanfare by a team riding high. He joined Alonso who was no fool and together they got on like a house on fire, a house full of fireworks and other highly explosive handbags. McLaren got caught cheating, Alonso spectacularly threw his toys out of the pram, Lewis almost won the title at his first go, there were accusation of favouritism, Hamilton and Alonso stopped talking to each other and Kimi sneaked the title from under the McLaren drivers noses. The narrative in 2007 was Lewis the rookie turning up and blowing the world champion out of the water, he was no respecter of titles, he was there to win and show the world what a plucky lad could do given half a chance.

I always used to think that it was Alonso that threw a hissy fit that year and Hamilton was an innocent victim of a spiteful hate campaign by the Spanish media. After Coughlin gate and Alonso’s big huff off to Renault, that became the accepted history, as time has gone on however, I’m starting to question that view.

The “Plucky young lad” image was cemented with the title winning run in 2008. He was almost robbed of the title by The FIA sticking their oar in, Massa player the villain to Hamilton’s young British hero role and we all lapped it up. The Evil FIA rooting for Ferrari and the swarthy Brazilian foreign type, against by the rules McLaren and our clean living  boy next door Brit, it was a great year with a title that went down to the last corner of the last race. It was an amazing year and you had to take sides, you were either old school dirty cheating Ferrari or stiff upper lip straight bat playing McLaren.  

The final image that year was a beaming Hamilton wet from champagne wrapped in the union jack, eyes gleaming and waving to the press pack as the Brazilian fans had gone home hours ago after witnessing Massa win the race, but lose the title in such a cruel way.

The years following that title winning season, were not good. Jenson rocked up in a car still being bolted together in Australia 2009 after Honda quite at the 11^th hour and Mercedes lent the new Brawn team some second hand engines. It turned out the Brawn chassis had a few clever tricks under its skirts and blow the opposition away. Only Redbull in a portent of the seasons to come came close to stopping the Brawn fairy tale that year. Lewis tried really, really hard but McLaren had thrown everything at 2008 and failed to carry the momentum into 2009. Brawn had a good car while McLaren only had the best driver.  Lewis still went out and drove the nuts of the car each week, but he made mistakes and too often over drove the car.

And Lewis started to change; being champion gets you invited to swanky parties, people who have no idea the engine is in the back of on F1 car want to be seen with the cute kid from Englandhamshire who won that car race thing.  Suddenly what he wore was just as important as how far up the championship table he was. He got himself a celeb girlfriend and told his dad he was going to get himself a new manager. A manager who could get him invited to better parties and suddenly he was standing next to the likes of Sean Combs and Samuel L Jackson. Most notably Lewis started sporting earring studs, nothing to obvious or ostentatious just small black studs.

There just isn’t the same level of adulation in the UK for athletes and celebrities as there is in America. Especially for the black stars, the whole stiff upper lip, know your place, embarrassment thing. The biggest sporting celebration in the UK is the BBC sports personality award at the end of the year. An event where the 84 year old retired post mistress from Little Puddlington who teaches wheelchair bound kids to play tiddlywinks is given a longer standing ovation than the eventual Sports personality. In the UK being a billionaire, super fit, highly talented and driven world champion just isn't as good as the inspirational old lady smelling slightly of moth balls.

Lewis found he rather liked America and the adulation he gets there. He didn’t have to be the humble plucky lad from Blighty who lived in a quite village in the sticks any more. He could be the Formula one world champion Lewis Hamilton and hang out with Kanye west at the MTV video awards, he could meet black America and be accepted as an equal.

Back in the world of F1 the 2010 season was another to forget. Jenson joined him as Brawn turned into Mercedes. McLaren built a better car, but it wasn’t as good as the Redbull or the Ferraris this time.  Vettel sneaked it from Webber and Alonso, Lewis was distant and grumpy. Diamond studs appeared and the tattoos got bigger and more obvious.

2011 and the wheels really started to come off the car for Lewis, the on/off celeb girlfriend was all the media wanted to talk about when they weren’t asking why he kept hitting Massa. He spent more time in the steward's office than the podium that year.  He replied to the press pack questioning after yet another telling off with “maybe it is because I is black”. The red faced loons and F1 media failed to get the reference or the joke.  Vettel was unstoppable all year long taking back to back titles.

2012 and McLaren are in full on comedy team mode, the car was pretty good but McLaren contrived to lose the drivers title to Vettel yet again, with poor strategy calls and a pit crew straight out of the keystone cop. As Vettel breezed to his third straight title helped by the FIA failing to show any backbone and Pirellis capitulation to Redbulls “safety” concerns. Lewis feeling straight jacked by the McLaren hive mind PR machine, quit for Mercedes and a new start. He told the press the reason was he wasn't allowed to keep the trophies he won; he only got copies from McLaren weeks later.

2013 and every team apart from Redbull were building their new rules for 2014 cars back at the factory so weren’t really trying that year. Redbull and Vettel romped home virtually unchallenged. Ferrari desperate as ever to appear competitive put up a bit of a fight, but they failed as usual.  Lewis spent half the season designing a baseball cap that met his exacting standards. A hat … ! and that hat became part of a “look” Lewis adopted, A hat that never left his head and was used, with the big celeb dark glasses, to hide away from the press and fans alike. The year was not a total success, but nor was it a disaster with a win in Hungary and a handful of thirds, a respectable start with the new team. Freed from McLarens strict PR rules, Lewis could pick and choose the events he attended and who could interview him.  The narrative changed from humble plucky young lad to grizzled ex world champ, a loner, the intense young man with nothing but thoughts of victory and looking cool when he wins.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with win at all costs, just as long as you remember shake the beaten guys hand and don’t screw over your friends. The sort of friends you came up through the ranks with, good mates whose fathers are themselves ex world champions. Long days spent travelling all over Europe and beyond, sleeping in dingy hotels and more often than not the back of dad's car.  The sort of mate you measure yourself against in the beginning then realise you can beat with ease and keep him around to make you look good.  

Yeah, don’t screw those friends over or it makes you look like a brat.

In 2014 Lewis cut the ties with the old image, the old life and his friends. Nico suddenly was the enemy and just another person to beat, all those long hot summers learning their trade round the European tracks meant nothing when it came to the rub. Lewis now moved in the exalted circles of the triple A entertainment circuit. The earrings got bigger and brighter, much, much brighter. Big fat flash gold chains became the signature symbol of success. The humble English lad from the sticks became the humble God fearing Lewis Hamilton Brand #teamLH.

It took a bit of effort, but he won the title in 2014, Nico made him work for it, but it wasn’t really in any doubt. Everything he learnt as Alonso’s understudy that first year came into play. And it was Nico that was seen to be throwing his toys out of the pram this time. Nico that had to cheat to beat Lewis and Nico that made all the mistakes.

But it was Nico that, I think, came out of the season with the most respect. It was Nico that went to Lewis before the crowning of the world champion after the race and shock his hand. He was the first to congratulate the new champion and it was Nico that paid tribute to Lewis.

Now in 2015 Lewis is on course to cruise to the title this year. Vettel in the Ferrari is the only driver looking to take the fight to Mercedes as Nico is completely out qualified and raced. Lewis has already got the pole position trophy secures. The only race he has failed to make the podium so far was Hungary. The third in Monaco was only third because the team screwed up in the closing stages.

Yes, I know, to win the world championship takes a certain .... ruthlessness. You have to be prepared to sacrifice friends and loved ones to achieve the ultimate goal in single seat motor sports. It's not an easy thing to do and doing multiple times takes a single minded determination.

But let us turn to Vettel for a moment and the point of this little piece.

I'm prepared now, to admit that Vettel won the title in 2010 by being better than Alonso and Webber. Those two were looking at each other and missed the German Lad who won the race that mattered.

 I will always question how legitimate Redbulls cars were in 2011 and 2012. They were doing something clever with suspension and ride heights. The engines were clearly using off throttle over run far more effectively over Newey's exquisite bodywork.  

In 2013 no one else turned up to the party.

But Vettel, and this is painful to say .. wasn't that smug about it all really. No , no he wasn't. That's what we wanted, we wanted to dislike him because he was winning and it all looked too easy whilst Alonso and Hamilton couldn't get a look in. Okay he was a bit mean to Webber a couple of times. But he did it on the track. You never heard reports of him bad mouthing Webber, and he did sort of apologies afterwards.

Yes he waved that finger around, but he only does it when he's on the podium and he's won, when he actually has the right to do it.

But Vettel never paraded a flash private yet around or took to wearing more and more jewellery around the paddock. Check out the instagram accounts for both Vettel and Lewis, see who likes to display the trappings of success. For the Singapore GP Lewis is finally releasing some of his music he's been recording at home, the fabled rap album.

I think the tipping point for me was Monza and the drivers' tribute to Justin Wilson, and yes I know this moment has been done ad infinitum.

The camera cuts to the driver in the garage waiting to go out and pay the tribute. All gathered together talking and smiling, apart from the world champion who has his ear buds in, hat on and big old glasses coving that impassive race face. Lewis was off to the side not talking to anyone as Vettel strides in and tells Jenson that the drivers are going now. I didn't ask, he didn't check his watch and defer to the world champion. He confidently strode in and told the driver to start moving.

Out they troop onto the trailer to stand, heads bowed and uncovered as a mark or respect to a fallen comrade, killed so cruelly by a bit of flying debris a week earlier. Well almost all the heads were uncovered.

Lewis didn't uncover his because he had just dyed his hair blonde and wasn't showing anyone his new hair colour until he'd won the race! A little bit of me died there. It really did. His image was more important than showing some respect. Yeah, it's just a hat, I know, I know. But he walked passed everyone else because he was the last up there, talking on his phone, he saw them take their hats off. If he hadn't just dyed his hair would he have been so precious about the hat?

Its just bad form really. 

I still think he's one of the best drivers I've ever seen. And I'll always root for him, the same as I rooted for Nigel and his endless brummy whinging. But I'm not sure in the extremely unlikely event I'm ever offered the chance to have lunch with Lewis I would take it now, I think Vettel or Jenson or even Alonso would be more interesting and less self obsessed company. 

Right enough slaying of idols, Singapore this weekend. Lewis will probably win, but watch out for the Redbulls who are pinning their hopes on a slew of updates.  As Hungary showed when top speed isn't so important they've got a sweat handling car can take the fight to Ferrari and Williams.

Ferrari's engine update gave Mercedes something to think about at Monza, Vettel will be buzzing after that result so I think another podium is within easy reach.  Nico will be the one to lose out again.   

Williams need something to happen here. Ferrari has the beating of them now and Redbull are up for the fight. But the boys from Didcot are bringing their A game apparently, lots of sponsors to impress and third place in the championship to secure.

The on going "Whose going to buy Lotus this week" story will drag on. As an engineer working in an industry facing plenty of redundancies at the moment myself, I really feel for the workers back at the Lotus factory. Not knowing if you'll have a job next month is a terrible thing to have to live with. Whilst the money men argue over "historical payment" real people have mortgages to pay and school uniforms to buy. The sooner things get sorted out the better. 

Force India, Indian summer will continue as Perez continues to do a good job of reminding everyone he used to be thought off as something special.

The rest who cares, Mehri will we last as usual.

Back to the grind I'm affraid.

Right. Okay, I'm afraid these are going to have to get a bit more focused and shorter now. It's one month till my wife is due to give birth, so I have a huge long list of stuff which I'm supposed to be sorting out. Rather than wasting my time away writing silly Formula one stuff.  

But I've sneaked a beer into the den and closed the door. I think I've got enough time to give you a preview of the weekends Austrian GP.

So then Mercedes will win .... Or will they ? Austria is very much like Canada, long fast bits with a couple of tight chicanes. It flows up and down the side of a mountain and fast times come from fast powerful engines; Mechanical grip is required as the teams trim the cars out to make them as slippery as possible.

Ferrari was right up Mercedes chuff in Canada, or they would have been if Vettels power unit had held together. Kimi normally qualifies a few tenths off Vettel and in Canada he was only half a second or so behind Nico's rear wing. If Vettel hadn't had his problems he would have been right up there making Mercedes work for their points. So Ferrari should be just as fast this time and a punt on some Vettel top step action isn't such a long shot. You certainly want at least one Ferrari on the podium.

But what about a Williams up there, I hear you cry. Well last year they should have sneaked a victory, but pragmatic point scoring trumped spirited racing. This year the car is just as fast and now more reliable, but the Mercs have pulled further ahead and Ferrari have got their engine working so the best they can reasonably hope for is a fourth but it'll probably be a fifth. Really they're waiting for last year's prize money to clear Bernie's "resting account" around the last third of the season. Next year it's going to be all about the Williams boys, trust me ;)

Lotus looked to have got their act together in Canada; Grosjean was beaten fair and square by Maldonado who managed to avoid hitting anything for a change. Austria being a power circuit I think a top ten is more than likely, and there's plenty of space for Pastor to charge around in.

Out of the points will be all the Renault drivers again. The Redbull A1 ring that Redbull pay to maintain, goes up the side of a mountain so if your engine runs out of puff on anything longer than 100 yards of straight road, you're in trouble. I've lost count of how many engines the various Redbull and Torro Rosso drivers are on but I expect someone will get a penalty for changing something this weekend. A Renault engine car in the top ten is a very long shot this weekend.

And finally Nico Hulkenberg, He's had a bit of a quite season thus far. So he went off and with the help of Porsche, British driver Nick Tandy and New Zealander Earl Bamber, only went and won Le Mans. It was mostly due to Nick Tandy who drove it like he stole it though the night. But this wasn't some seat of the pants, wing and a prayer, last man standing win. This was a gutsy, hard fought and well deserved win, beating the normally ruthless Audi winning machine. We all knew the Hulk was a top class driver and I hope he gets a bit more respect now, If he isn't in a factory LMP1 program next year, there's no justice in this world.

Right that's enough. Flip a coin to chose who follows Lewis home, Mercs and Ferraris up front, Williams best of the rest, throw in a Lotus and a Force India and then chose between the remaining Merc engine cars for the rest of the top ten.    

Oh one last thing ... McLaren Honda. The tension ramped up several notches in Canada. Alonso openly saying "Look the car is dog slow, unreliable and handles like a fat kid in a chocolate shop..... Now you're telling me its thirsty too.  Oh for f.... "

Alonso is not a happy camper. This is not the McLaren he signed up for and he can see no end to the pain he's having to endure at each round this year. There seems to be an awful lot of head scratching around the car and yet another bit melts, or falls off, or grenades itself, of just stops working.  Sure the other teams had these teething problems last year! But Honda had a year off testing whatever they wanted to for however long they wanted, they had no testing restrictions at all to sort these problems out.

The car is fundamentally wrong, the engine is going to take years to sort, meanwhile the Merc and Renault squads are getting further up the road. 

The Hulk goes off and wins Le Mans in the car Alonso was expected to be in, but was banned from racing by Big Ron. I wouldn't be surprised if Fernando burst into Ron's office and demonstrated his frustration to Ron using the medium of a clenched fist. Repeatedly.

Right no, that is it. Update your prediction before Friday please and good luck.

Sir, sir, it's all so unfair sir ....

Okay, we’re all back on track now. 

Bahrain then this weekend. Another straight fight between Lewis, Vettel and the increasingly petulant Nico. You know you can always tell the good from the merely right place, right time drivers. The good ones say things like, “Well I didn’t really get the car going the way I wanted it, but we learnt stuff today so, we’ll do better next time”. The not so good say, “ Sir, sir … he was backing me up and going too slow and I couldn’t over take because  the tyres sir, yes the tyres were round and black sir, I didn’t want to wear them out sir and he made me go too slow sir”.

Everyone who heard or read those words from Nico must have reached pretty much the same conclusion as me … “Well why didn’t you overtake Lewis then, if he was going too slow ?”

And I can’t really think of a reason as to why he didn’t, can you? Someone pointed out to me that Lewis spent last year tucked up behind Nico waiting for that mistake, the split second when he could make the move and take the win.  He’d rag the tyres till they bled, push the car till the brakes cried enough. But he’d get the points and Nico would stand on the lower step, bottom lip trembling slightly as the champagne hit him in the face.  

Lewis didn’t complain that Nico was too slow! No, he berated himself for not qualifying better and allowing Nico to dominate on Saturday. Then he’d win and  make it look easy, Nico became increasingly desperate with the last lap crash in qualifying in Monaco and the elbows out crash at Spa. The crowds responded to this petulance by casting him as the panto villain and booing him on the podium. It wasn’t until Abu Dhabi, when Nico asked to be allowed to keep going till the end in his sick car, that the crowds forgave him for the tantrums and unsporting behaviour.

Nico is no fool, he is a pretty good driver, but he doesn’t seem to have that thing, that edge, that ability to win races when he doesn’t have the best hand of cards to play.  Where Lewis or Alonso will just keep going, dragging whatever car they have under them to victory, Nico like Vettel needs a winning car before he can win. The two of them can get the best out of the car, but nothing more.

And Vettel has a very good car, Kimi is showing us that. For too long Kimi has been bored and dismissive during interviews. Mono syllabic answers, hiding behind big dark sunglasses and batting inane questions away with a lazy flap on his hand. Last year you could be forgiving for wondering if he actually turned up for the races he was so under the radar. Now though, robbed of a result in Australia, a drive back through the field to fourth in Malaysia and what I assume was another easy fourth in China and Kimi has his mojo back. Not enough to beat Vettel  yet, but then he isn’t as lucky as the German.

So then last of the season opener fly away races, Bahrain was fantastic last year. It was Merc letting rip and showing just how fast they were. Nico and Lewis put on a show as Lewis stamped his authority all over Nico and showed him what was really required to win a championship. Going on past form, I can’t see there being much difference this year. Vettel … well Bahrain isn’t normally a high tyre wear circuit, so I think third again here unless Lewis does a better job of backing up Nico this time ;)

Williams next again .. Massa, what the Sally Hill has happened to Felipe Baby then? He’s got his act together and is showing Bottas the way home. Not the story I was expecting!

Then you get to choose from Nasr in a resurgent Sauber, Danny in a woefully poor Redbull and Grosjean in an unlucky Lotus. Although the championship points don’t really reflect it, the one to take a punt on would be Verstappen, who is raising plenty of eyebrows with feisty and controlled drives. I still think he’s a bit young, he doesn’t look like he even shaves at all, but he’s go the talent to get noticed, now he needs the talent to bring it home consistently.

Worth a punt too would be Perez, who’s looking pretty handy in a the Force India. I think the Hulk is looking at his exit strategy to Porsche and Le Mans now, so he’s taken his eye off the F1 ball for now. Perez has been almost exciting at times this year, jus the car letting him down a bit.

Further back and  McLaren are sort of moving forward. But every time they tell us they’ll turn the engine up and start winning, I look at the car and think, “That car looks a bit of a handful”.

I don’t think turning the wick up is going to deal with the snap over steer or random handling quirks, she’s a bit of a handful and mistake. I think if they can get in to the bottom of the top ten before  Italy in September, they’ll have done well.

And then we have Manor Marussia and they are still there, still plugging away. They’ve lasted longer than I expected and go on them for that. I ‘m not sure who’s going to be driving for them this weekend., I thought Merhi was only on a 3 race contract. Let’s see if he came up with anymore cash shall we.

Right that’s your lot.

You can update your predictions here if you so desire.  

Hubris, it's not just a Greek salad!

Hubris (/ˈhjuːbrɪs/, also hybris, from ancient Greek ὕβρις) means extreme pride or self-confidence. When it offends the gods of ancient Greece, it is usually punished

"Hello? Yes hello ... Is that the Ferrari contracts department ?"

All Mercedes had to do this weekend was turn up and push the cars out onto the track, right? This was a pre ordained win, nobody else was close to them and nobody had a better driver than Lewis in a competitive car. It just goes to show you how much I know about things!

Certainly no one told Ferrari the plan, after firing half the middle management over the winter, losing the CEO and their second team manager of the year. This was the Ferrari of old with infighting, back stabbing and no direction. Except at the very first test of the year, Ferrari had come out of the starting blocks guns blazing and an engine firing on all six cylinders. Ferrari has suddenly got itself a fast car.

The only question was Vettel and how well he would adapt to racing for the pride of Italy. Well the answer seems to be, pretty well. Third in Australia and now in Malaysia, slap bang on the top step with seconds to spare over a couple of ordinary looking Merc boys!

Make no mistake here; Ferrari won this on pure merit, they popped the Merc bubble, beat them for pace, strategy and simply reading the circuit in front of them.  Mercedes set their stall out on Saturday afternoon when they sent the boys straight out on the soft tyre choice. They were going to run the hard tyres in the race and wait for everyone to catch up with them somewhere at the end of the season.  

Now, to a point you can understand why they went with the same strategy they used last year to such good effect. Lewis had missed the first practice session with an electrical problem that cut the entire car to pit telemetry; he missed much of the second practice with the same problem. When he finally got out to record a time, it was fast, but he didn't have much long run data to analyse. So the third practice session on Saturday morning was about finding a solid qualifying setting for the afternoon and hoping the race pace would follow.

Q1 and Q2 confirmed the car was fast and Ferrari were pretty close. Then it rained and after a lengthy delay we saw Hamilton at his best, on his first lap out onto the wet track he nailed the pole whilst the others tiptoed around. No one else got close; Nico tried to be too clever and lost second to Vettel just to confirm the Ferrari was fast in the wet as well as the dry.

But everyone though the Ferrari was just punching above its weight in the wet and the dry race on Sunday would see the normal Merc battle up front.

Sunday dawned very hot and very, very dry.

When the lights went out Lewis shot off up the road, Vettel squeezed Nico towards the pit wall and just about held onto second place in front of the Merc. The rest of the 19 cars that made it to the grid this time followed into the turn one complex, Maldonardo picked up a rear puncture that dropped him to the back of the pack. He was joined by Kimi at the end of the first lap when Nasr tried to use him as an emergency stop into the last corner. Other than that, it looked like another dull race where the Merc drove off with Vettel for company.

There was some feisty racing in the midfield between the Torro Rosso’s, Williams and Redbull drivers.  But the front looked like being a boring tactical battle of “How long will Vettel stay ahead of a Merc one two”. Except Vettel didn’t look to be waiting for Nico to come and take the place back, he wasn’t exactly catching Lewis, but he wasn’t eating a cloud of dust either.

Then Ericsson spun into the gravel trap at turn one and beached the Sauber which meant a tractor to remove him, and because of Japan last year, out came the safety car and the race changed dramatically.

Having qualified on the soft tyres, the Mercs were desperate to come in and bolt on the hard options for a couple of long runs to an easy win. The Ferrari of Vettel was perfectly happy to stay on the soft option however, so as Lewis and Nico peeled into to pit under yellow we had a leader that wasn’t powered by a Mercedes for a change.

 All the pundits immediately threw their arms into the air and questioned what Ferrari thought it was doing !!!! How could Vettel stay ahead of the anointed championship winning Mercs with old soft tyres? But the thing was Vettel wasn’t the only one to stay out, Hulkenberg, Grosjean, Sainz and Perez also stayed out and they would prove crucial to the Vettel race.  And because Nico had been stacked in the pits whilst Lewis got new tyres, he came out a further 2 places back behind Ricciardo and Massa.

Oh we all thought, Mercedes will just turn the wick up and breeze past the slower boys and put Vettel back in his place. But when the safety car pulled in, suddenly the Mercs didn't look quite so racy. By the time Lewis cleared the Force India of Hulkenberg, Vettel was 20 seconds up the road and Hamilton had burn the life out of his tyres. The hard option was already a second slower than the soft sets and Vettel didn't look like he was struggling to keep his Ferrari on the grey stuff.

It rather appeared as if Ferrari had pulled a bit of a master stroke and read the track better than the Merc pit wall. The red car was looking after the tyres better on the hot track and had the pace to hold off the silver cars. When Vettel eventually pitted it didn’t take him long to reel both Mercs back in and retake the lead. Whilst Hamilton’s race engineer assured his driver than he would be able to take the win from Vettel at the end of the race, the reality was they were on their back foot and Vettel was clean away.

To underline how good the Ferrari strategy was and how well the car was handling, Kimi who had been plum last after his puncture made it all the way back to fourth. And we shall take a moment here to look back over our shoulders at the forlorn figure of Alonso. Standing on the pit wall, in his McLaren Honda overalls after just 21 laps, last year he hauled yet another prancing donkey around the world’s circuits for very little praise and no reward. He was pushed or flounced off at the end of last year and waved goodbye to yet another poor handling Ferrari with an underpowered engine and climbed into a poor handling and underpowered McLaren Honda. Now he stands in the pits, helmet in hand, as the fine champagne mist from the Ferrari garage celebrations dry in the hot air around him. He must be crying over that contract now, you have to feel sorry for the guy.

Anyway, it was a cracking race this one. There was plenty of feisty racing throughout the field, Ferrari came back to win after far too long cluttering up the midfield. We’ve got a championship fight after all between two teams rather than just two drivers. It’s been said before that F1 is at its healthiest when Ferrari are winning, everyone who drivers a car has heard of Ferrari after all and every grandstand around the world is full of punters sporting red t-shirts. It’s just a shame it’s got to be Vettel waving his finger around on that top step.

Vettel wins and not even I can take anything away from him here. He won that fair and square on pace and strategy. I know I keep banging on about strategy, but Ferrari had a plan and stuck to it, they knew what they wanted to do, saw an opportunity and went for it. Exactly like Williams didn't do all last year. Without the safety car I'm not sure the win was on, but it still would have been a close run thing. Mercedes didn't really fumble the ball either, they had set their stall out in qualifying and it was up to Ferrari to bury them. Yes .. I suppose it’s quite nice to have a Ferrari back on the top step and it does rather put to bed the idea that Vettel can only win in an Adrian Newey car, that he can’t over take and only gains places in the pit stops.  Two races, two podiums and its game on then for the finger waving German.

Hamilton second and it would have been interesting to see what would have happened if there had been no safety car. The Merc wasn’t as kind to its tyres as the Ferrari and they didn't have enough of the faster soft tyres to give Lewis a chance at the end of the race. Where Mercedes complacent? That’s the big question. Did they just roll up expecting to win easily and didn't think anyone would beat them on pace? With the problems Lewis had on Friday they were always playing catch up, but the accepted wisdom was they had a good second in hand over the rest of the field. Is this the end of Hamilton’s championship run? Let’s see what happens in China where it’s not so hot and better traction is the key.

Nico was third and still didn't look like he was going to beat Lewis at any point. But let’s not stick the knife in just yet, I believe his wife is at home expecting their first child and isn’t too very well at the moment, there was hospital visit recently. So he can be forgiven for having an off weekend this once. There’s still a long way to go in this championship. He got the fastest lap for his troubles.

Kimi was fourth and as I said, underlines just how much faster the Ferrari was today. I'm still not convinced Kimi is doing anything other than pick up the cheques, but it’s good to see him in a fast car again.

Bottas made it to fifth and I think we can tick off that “Williams have been jumped by Ferrari” box now.  Pretty much the only positive thing Williams can take away from this is that Bottas is faster than Massa, and the car the best of the customer Merc engines teams. Other than that well they were far too conservative in qualifying and the race yet again, didn't have any sort of answer to Ferrari. And Torro Rosso weren’t too far behind either, I foresee testing times ahead for the Didcot boys and girls.

Massa was sixth and got mugged by Bottas at the end. He didn't look happy all weekend.

Verstappen becomes the youngest ever points winner of an F1 Grand Prix in seventh. And seeing as from next year you have to be 18 and above to gain a super licence, Max could hold that record for a very, very long time.  Verstappen has not disgraced himself at all so far, he’s been feisty and shown some real race craft in the two races we’ve had. The boys got the chops to be here on the strength of what I’ve seen so far. Let’s see if he can keep it up for the whole year.

And let’s not forget Sainz who, in eighth place, has also done very well. As all the ho har about the engines driveability and whether Renault will buy the team or not, these boys have just got on with things.  

Not quite living up to the promotion is Kvyat. Okay the DNF in Australia wasn’t really his fault, but he looks like a gawky teenager at the moment, all elbows and arms flailing around trying to puff himself up and look impressive in front of the bigger boys. It’s not really flowing for him and he need a pit call to Ricciardo to let he through to reach ninth. Maybe the promotion to Redbull was a year early, time will tell.

And Ricciardo was tenth and a bit rubbish. The Honeymoon’s over now young man.

Okay, well let’s have a look at last place ... and it’s a Manor Marussia!! Just like last year. But now Max is gone and we have to cheer on Merhi. Who is some F3 kid with a bundle of used Spanish Euro’s I believe, he’s only got a contract for these two races as far as I know and given he was three laps down I don’t expect he’ll be there any longer than his Euros last.

Okay. That’s more than 2000 words. All stone cold sober as I ran out of wine last night. I'm going to see if I can rustle up a stiff G&T to celebrate. The next race is in China after Easter, but I won’t be watching as I'm planning to see some proper racing at the Silverstone for the start of the WEC series. Big grunty cars that sound like they mean business;  here have a video to get you all excited J