It's that German lad again .. oh the joy!

Well there you go then, Vettel didn’t even need to break into a sweat for that did he, and it’s all starting to look dreadfully predictable (well maybe not for some of you). The Wall of Champions had ONE job this weekend and it failed spectacularly in its mission.  Hopeless.

Do you think anyone can stop him? I don’t, well I don’t think he’s going to win every race between here and Brazil ... but he doesn’t have to now. As long as he finishes in the points and keeps it all ticking over, that’ll be enough won’t it.  Alonso and Kimi don’t look like they can keep the challenge going week after week really; the Ferrari is a little suspect at qualifying and the Lotus doesn’t like cold days and slippery tracks. Alonso showed us again what a fantastic driver he is when he has to chase the points down, with another balls to the wall drive from sixth this time. Kimi meanwhile just couldn’t get the Lotus to grip the blacks stuff and was trying to make something of a ninth place start.

Then you have the Merc which are fast ish ... and a day spent testing 2014 Pirelli rubber has made no difference to their race pace, despite what that nitwit Horner might say. They haven’t been able to make the car work for three years on Italian rubber; one day in Bahrain isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference.  Lewis will drive the arse off anything you give him but the thing goes through rubber faster than a season pro in the plot challenge films of Hollywood’s more spicy film industry.

Saying that, there weren’t too many teams complaining about the tyres this weekend, two days of cold wet rain meant the track was pretty green and the wear rates were down for everyone.  Without a series of long fast corners the temperatures couldn’t build up to dangerous levels.  During the race Di Resta even managed something like 56 laps on a set of softs, which would have been unthinkable a few races ago.  Maybe ... just maybe the teams have got a handle on the issue.

Anyway.

Wet qualifying always throws up a few interesting sights. This time it was the turn of Bottas to make a name for himself. The rain was hard enough to mean no slicks, but not enough to go from inters to full wets. So it was a bit tippy toes from the drivers keeping the temp down on the inters on the long back straight, so they could thread their way through the tree lines twisty bits that never got a dry line.  Bottas in the Williams was consistently up there as qualifying went on, he didn’t scrap into Q3 by the seat of his pants. No, is was fully deserved and a very creditable career high of third. Vettel and Lewis battled it out for pole with the German just sneaking it as the rain started to get heavier as time ran out.

Not having a good weekend at all was Button who forgot that to do a final quail run you actually have to cross the line before flag drops. They don’t wave you past with a cheery “oh go on then, you loveable scamp”  No trying to be too clever and hanging back to the very last second to start your lap does require you to know how much longer you’ve actually got. As everyone else scampered off for one last attempt to make it into Q3, he took too long and crossed the line after the flag had dropped and so started the race in fourteenth.   

Sunday, dawned bright, sunny and clear. This meant when the lights went out for the start of the race Bottas went backwards rapidly, he made Alonso and Webber work for it, but he didn’t make them work for long.  

Meanwhile Vettel drove off into the distance. Hamilton tried to stay with him for a bit but in reality Vettel was gone after turn one and no one got close to him all afternoon. Back in the pack we got to see some great racing as the laps ticked over. Mass and Sutil where at it tooth and nail, Sutil after almost collecting half the field when he spun trying to pass Bottas into turn five, before Maldonado attempted to use him as a break into the hairpin. With a damaged rear wing he managed to haul his Force India into the points. But then he got a drive through for not getting out of the way of Hamilton and Alonso who were scrapping over second spot.   

Alonso showed you can look after your tyres and still over take on the track with moves past Rosberg, Webber and an enthralling dice with Hamilton. Yes DRS and KERS played a part, but you have to know when to use them and how to do it effectively for it all to work. It was a real master class in proper old school racing. Grosjean please take note.

But yeah, it was really the Vettel show and he didn’t look like he’d broken into a sweat when he got out of the car.  He missed fastest lap to his team mate at the end, had a few dicy moments when he got board and slap the wall or missed turn one. But there was never any challenge from anyone else. The only person that was going to beat Vettel this weekend was Vettel. With Silverstone next which should be prime Redbull territory, followed by Germany and Hungary in July, I think we’re about to see championship run be put together.

Alonso was second with a championship saving run. Like I said, Ferrari are looking edgy right now, the car doesn’t qualify well and it took all of Alonso’s skill to haul it’s backside up to a podium finish. Massa binned the other in qualifying and the team had to work hard to keep the show on the road. Alonso is 32 points behind Vettel now and I can’t see where he’s going to make up the difference.  He needs some more weekends like Spain where it all went right, or else he’s going to be runner up yet again.

Hamilton gets a career reviving podium in third. The witless media will be happy with that for a few weeks. He tried hard to defend second from Alonso, but the Spaniard was on a mission and had just too much grip in the end. But it’s a good result none the less, he almost got pole, but I don’t think it would have made much difference if he had started one place higher; Vettel was just so much faster. It was great to see two of the best drivers going wheel to wheel with inches to spare. Let’s hope we more of the same over the rest of the season.

Webber was fourth and got the fastest lap at the end. He was another than couldn’t stop the remorseless drive of Alonso to the podium. He was doing alright just about holding him off until he met our favourite rubbish, and here i use the term very loosely, F1 driver; Giedo van der Garde. Giedo who was running as usual in last place, taking in the sights of Montréal, waving to the crowd, sighing autographs as he drove slowly past. He was smiling and waving at the crowds so much coming in to the hairpin that he completely missed every single marshal waving a big blue flag at him. Wondering around on the racing line like it didn’t apply to him, he turned into the apex from about six miles away and was surprised to find Webber was already there. Queue comedy spin with bits of Webber wing end plate bouncing off and around for humorous effect. It didn’t stop the grumpy Ozzy, with a couple of fastest laps later. But breaking into the big stops was a bit compromised and Alonso was soon past.  It’s an okay result for Mark, but it’s not the start of a championship run is it. How long before he announces he’s off to the Porsche Le Mans gig ? Also getting a fastest lap at the end of the race in fourth just shows the team boss he wasn’t trying hard enough for the rest of the race, in my opinion.

Rosberg fifth and one of those, “was he there?” races we talked about at the start of the season see, brilliant in Monaco one week, faceless in Canada the next. He complained he didn’t qualify well because his radio didn’t work and he didn’t know he had three laps or fuel not two. Which is rubbish and we all know that. Get out there and drive it like you didn’t just borrow it from your mum you idiot! I have no idea what his excuse for the race is, and I don’t really care. Must do better next time, young man.

Vergne, puts done his marker for the Redbull seat next year with sixth. After the eighth in Monaco he’s having a good run of results. With 13 points to Ricciardos 7 he’s the one to watch at the moment.

Di Resta is also on a mission to save his career in seventh. Two weeks now the team has clowned around and left him stranded at the back of the grid. This time they were fixing a faulty do darr when he should have been qualifying and absolutely nothing to do with Paul not going fast enough or anything.  Anyway, he started in seventeenth and made it all the way to lap 56 before he had to change tyres. That’s some going considering he’d done no long run testing and practice had been short and wet.  It was a good solid driver and could well have been a podium run if he’s just qualified better ... I mean if the team had been on the ball.

Eighth for Massa and again another run from the back end of the grid after he binned it in Q2, well at least he finished this time, after the nightmare in Monaco. He’s started to get a bit wobbly again and people are starting to talk about Massa like he isn’t in the room .... when he’s standing right there. He needs a top five at Silverstone really.

Kimi was ninth and didn’t get hit by anyone this week. I think he’s either now joint or has become the driver with the longest points scoring run ever in F1.  This is a fairly meaningless achievement when he only has one world championship and is 44 points behind Vettel this year! Still it could be worse, he could be Grosjean. Lotus are making a big deal about this and it just shows you they are scraping around for good news stories down there. From being title contenders to “yeah he’s got loads of points and finishes and stuff (but not quite enough to lead the championship) and he’s ace at drinking Vodka and eating ice creams ... gggrrrr don’t tell him what to do heheheheh......heh...he ............sigh”.

Sutil was tenth and I think a little unlucky with the drive through for ignoring blue flags. He tried to get off the line to let Hamilton and Alonso through but he was caught at a point you can’t easily do that.  When they got to the hairpin he got out of the way, Hamilton had too many laps to defend against Alonso so ultimately it made no difference Sutil holding them up for a corner to two.  But it was Ferrari so you know; the FIA likes to throw its weight around every now and again.

Right, Giedo got taken out by Hulkenberg this time I'm afraid so it’s the turn of plucky Brit Max Chilton to be last this time, well done him.

And that’s your lot because it’s late and I'm tired.

Well done to whoever won, see you in Silverstone in two weeks time.

Canada and some points of interest.

Right then its time for the Canadian GP and there are a couple of interesting things to watch out for this weekend.

Firstly keep an eye Ferrari. It’s all been a bit quite down Maranello way thus far, the season hasn’t really got off to the flyer the last one ended on. Yes Alonso got the wins in China and Spain, good wins too. But Malaysia and Bahrain were a bit of a disaster and Monaco was lacklustre, they are having to scrap it out with Lotus when they need to be beating Redbull. Already the constructor’s championship (and the ones the teams really want to win, for the money if nothing else) looks like it’s going to be Redbulls to lose. They’re 40 points ahead of Ferrari and don’t look like losing that lead any time soon.

So Ferrari needs a good weekend to keep Alonso in the hunt and Massa to be on form to pick up the points, while Lotus and Redbull are out of the point. Things are starting to look a little jumpy around Ferrari as they start to feel the constructors and drivers titles beginning to slip away.

 

You never know with this place though, the ‘Wall of Champions” might claim Redbull or two, Kimi might trip up. But just watch Ferrari and see how edgy the team are at the moment. 

 

Lewis ….  The red tops and scandal rag Media is starting to poke at Hamilton and ask why he isn’t beating his team mate by a country mile. Most normal F1 watchers are aware that is takes time to gel with a new team, especially when your whole career to date has been with one team who you won a world championship with. So the regular press pack hasn’t taken much notice of the goings on at Mercedes.

 But then Nico went and dominated the Monaco weekend. Lewis was consistently half a second off his team mate’s times and didn’t really look like he’d got a handle on the car at all. This is a just new team teething problem, nothing to be worried about in the grand scheme of things. The car was designed with an ex seven times world champions backside in mind. So it’s to be expected that the car isn’t quite how the plucky Brit would like it.

 But the Fleet Street hacks that haul their fat backsides to Monaco once a year for the annual free food and booze orgy, have decided that Lewis has lost the plot and will leave Mercedes for McLaren any minute now. Never mind that Nico has always been pretty handy when he’s motivated and spent the last three years beating Schumacher. He’s always promised this sort of season but then fades as the year goes on, lets see how he’s doing once we get to Japan shall we. As for Lewis, it’s a kick back and enjoy the ride year, it all changes next year with new engines and rules. I think the death of Hamilton’s career is being greatly overstated right now.

What else…

Well there’s Force India and their “We will get a podium  … any minute now… just watch  .. here we go … the next one .. yeah the next race  … we’ll get a podium” story. This season, just as Mr Malaya looks like he’s going to sell the lot to the first bidder if they offered him £4.50 and a packet of wine gums! The rozzers are looking to haul him off for unpaid bills back home in India, so how much longer the team is around is anyone’s guess. I imagine this is rather taking the managements eyes of the prize on the track right now, so its no small wonder they are doing quite as well as they are. Once again look out for Sutil and Di Resta, either could well be up there if the big boys come a cropper on the wall.

 

Meanwhile, McLaren and their new 2015 Honda engine deal … I’m going to make a prediction here and now. I don’t think Jenson will ever drive a McLaren with a Honda engine. Perez has turned up and after a bit of a shaky start, shown Button the way home. He doesn’t seem to respect Jenson the way Lewis did and certainly doesn’t have the same sort of skill. But that will come, It just won’t be there when Jenson is. Because Honda are going to want a Japanese driver in the car for the first few years as they get the motorsport division back up to speed and into winning ways. No point wasting lots of money on talent that isn’t going to get results now is there.

 So the smart money is currently riding on a return for Krazy Koby when Jenson walks off into the twighlight in a year or two’s time. The team are really talking Canada, and to a large extent the rest of the season, down now. They need to understand why this years car is so poor so they don’t make the mistake again with next years car. But this season is over as a championship now for the Woking boys and girls.  

Right, who will win …Vettel or Kimi … my money is on Kimi. I thin the Merc will be on pole again, Nico seems to be dialled in so why not him, maybe a Banzai lap from Vettel though, just for a change.

Bear in mind though, the weather is expected to be wet on Saturday, so pole could go to anyone of the big four.

 Fastest lap is all about who has a problem at the end and has to make an unscheduled stop at the end. That could be anyone, so close your eyes and pick a number there.

Last place, well Max was doing alright against Van Der Garde, but I think Caterham mighthave a faster car here so  .. Max is my tip for last.

 

But as ever its all down to you.

Don’t forget to make any updates before midnight on Thursday.

 

Good luck.

Like Father Like Son, Nico does it with style.

Finally Mercedes convert a pole into a win and a well deserved win it was for Nico, so much for Hamilton blowing him away and the team being built around the multi-million dollar signing.

Yes, I think we can put to bed the idea that Nico is some second rate driver that is in it to make up the numbers. The last few weeks have seen him really step up his game with a succession of poles and classy races. Mercedes have been knocking on the door of the Ferrari, Redbull big boys club for some time now and today they gain entry.

I doubt it’ll happen again this year, Monaco is a race all of its own. Nowhere else is it so difficult to overtake and control a race from the front. There just isn’t the room to make a 50/50 move up the inside and rely on the run off to save the blushes. Here you commit to the move and hope the other driver sees you coming. Get it wrong and bang it’s goodnight to your career Mr Grosjean, who I expect will have the book thrown at him his antic this weekend. If he was walking a tight rope before, now the Lotus board must be looking at ending his career sooner rather than later.

No Grosjean, you're doing it wrong You're not a porn star, stop trying to mount him !!!

Anyway

So , yeah a win for Rosberg and I think he truly deserves it. He stuck it on pole on Saturday on a damp changeable track.  Then on a bright clear sunny Sunday he was fast, control the race pace, and looked after the tyres. For the first half of the race until Massa’s car tried to kill him and the first safety car was called out. He had Lewis behind him to play tail gunner for him making sure the Merc could look after its tyres without having to defend the lead. Hamilton played the dutiful team mate, never getting too close whilst holding up the Redbull.  Until the safety car when the pitwall called them both in and asked Lewis to slow down to allow the team time to reset after servicing Nico, who as leader got first dibs.

Normally a safety car will pick up the first car to reach it, in this car Vettels Redbull, and then wait until the race leader joins the snake. Then the cars in front of the leader are waved past until the race leader is behind the safety car. Except this time the wave past started whilst Nico was in the pits. So Vettel and Webber were waved past in time catch Nico as he left the pits and joined the queue, just ahead of Hamilton who had slowed to allow the team to get his tyres ready. So from a potential one two, Merc found themselves first and forth with Vettel breathing down Nico neck.

But this is Monaco and a determined driver can keep a driver that is looking to pick up points rather than risk wiping out a nose and losing everything, behind him. Nico carried on as if it was only Lewis behind him and never let Vettel get within two seconds of him.  Hamilton had a few pops at Webber in third but didn’t have the traction out of the slow corners to really challenge the grumpy Ozzy in the braking zones. A bit of weaving around and a cheeky lunge up the inside of Rascas were all he managed, but Webber is more than a match for that and eventually bagged the third spot on the podium with ease.

So Rosbergs second career win and there was no gifting or last man standing about this one. On a day when lesser drivers showed how easily it is to screw the thing up royally, he kept it simple and didn’t try to do anything stupid or clever. He was lucky Vettel didn’t jump him when he was in the pits during the safety car, but that’s part of the game here.  A race win he can be proud of and one to really get inside the head of Lewis with. Will he do it again ... I don’t think so, unless Mercedes found something special with their extra test after Bahrain .. ho ho.

Vettel second and you could probably call that fortuitous. I think he was waved passed the safety car early but there you go. He didn’t really seem to be having a go at Nico when he got there, and had only tried to pass Lewis on the first few opening laps. I think he was keeping an eye on the bigger picture where Nico isn’t likely to be hunting for the ultimate prize so why risk a DNF over a few extra points. Webber wasn’t going to do anything stupid (probably, you never know with him) so enjoy the ride and see if Nico makes a mistake.

He did grab the fastest lap at the end, like a big child. Just to prove a point though.

Webber spent most of the race watching Hamilton burn his tyres out trying to get past. Again he didn’t really have to do much so a third place was about what he deserved.

I think Hamilton in fourth was unlucky, as I say. But he was never really in with a shot at beating Nico, who was dialed in to the circuit all weekend.  I think he knew that and seemed pretty happy with the result in the end.  This is still the “learning year with a new team” phase of things, with the title out of reach for either Merc driver so a win here and a second there don’t mean that much. But if Nico continues to deliver the poles on Saturday and the points paying finishes ahead of Lewis on Sunday things might get a little fraught towards the end of the year.

Sutil fifth for Force India and this is a fully deserved result. He mugged Alonso and Button for seventh and eighth and showed you can make a pass at Monaco if you’re committed and not an idiot. This was good solid driving from soft hands Sutil and shows how well that Force India goes when the playing field is a bit more even. I expect them to go well in Canada too.

Button was sixth and should have done better really. He spent a lot of the race being passed by his new team mate and complaining about it to the team. Like Hamilton, he’s suddenly got a team mate that isn’t too impressed with how good his PR is. Jenson is in very grave danger of being seen as “that old bloke that used to be something” Come on man, McLaren needs a team leader, someone to pick it up by the boot straps and drive it forward. Not someone to whinge to the team that he’s been past by his team mate. You will notice the lack of simpering Girlfriend and gurning big nosed father team Button; even they don’t want to be seen around the pits with Jenson these days!

Alonso was seventh and I think we’ll just sum this one up as a bad day at the office. The car apparently had a bit of debris in the front win (probably from Masses accident). Which was causing the car to handle badly; yeah right, this is El Alonso who tamed a car that tried to kill him in 2012. Even Perez, who appears to have had Maldonado’s balls grafted onto him sometime between China and Bahrain, went past the Spaniard like he was asleep. With Vettel on the Podium things are starting to slip for Ferrari and they need a run of good results to get it all back on track.. soon.

Vergne was eighth, and is this week’s Torro Rosso driver looking for Webber seats next year.  

Di Resta did alright in the end after the team forgot that qualifying had started and it isn’t a practice session on Saturday afternoon. On a drying track he got left out on inters that were well past their sell by date and he ended up seventeenth. Pretty much a death sentence for point scoring here, but a bit of luck with the safety car and the usual idiots on the road left him up in the heady heights of ninth. Sutil has come in and made a solid bid for number 1 status so a driver like this shows the lad has some spunk after all. Canada could be a top five result for either Force India driver and may decide the direction he development path goes. Scottish or German.

Kimi gets tenth after being assaulted by Perez who was trying just a bit too hard. To be fair to Perez though, Kimi was wandering around the racing line like a drunk looking for the last dregs as the night winds down at a particularly rough wedding. You have to commit to over taking after the tunnel, as you go into the tunnel. So Perez was up the inside and I think Kimi was thinking about the post race party rather than where Perez might be trying to surprise him. By the time he’d turned into the hairpin, Perez was already there and the next thing the Fin was limping into the pits with a rear puncture.  But give the man his dues here, rather than park it and hit the ice cream chillier, he bolted on some sticky rubber and went for broke. Nicking tenth off Hulkenberg on the last lap. Good old Kimi.

Right last place then, Perez parked it up before the end so he wasn’t moving as the flag for the end to the race dropped. So it’s the turn of the ever reliable Van Der Garde to be our last placed driver again. Who despite being really rubbish, had Caterham’s best qualifying result to date and so he’ll probably keep his job until the end of the year. Which is good news for some of us!

  Right I'm off to the Jim Clark Rally to take pictures and getting wet next weekend, If you’re there let me no via the blog and we can discuss Jenson and how long before he heads for retirement oblivion at Sauber or *shudder* Williams.

Monaco and its black heart

If Monza is the spiritual home of F1, Silverstone its mechanical heart and Singapore the gateway to the new world


Then it is Monaco that is the beating black heart of its financial world. Bernie and Todt will join all the team principles here this weekend, doing deals to sell acres of prime carbon fibre advertising space and glad hand long term partners. The race really is secondary to the circus at times here; it just gets in the way of the face time and base touching. But there are few better places to get up close and personal with a 1000bhp snarling spitting Formula One engine.
For the lucky few in hospitality and those with invites to the corporate yachts moored on the waterfront. You just can’t get much closer to those cars that have the companies name smeared all over it. To see where the pension fund has gone and the “Global brand reimagining” is taking place. Primary colours of international brands scream past selling watches, petrol and computers to the punters hanging precariously to the cheap seats on the cliff.

There are companies with office space on the trackside, who rent out their 3rd floor balcony with views of the start line. This money pays the rent for the next 6 months. Imagine how much that is for a second; 1000 square foot of prime office space on Monaco’s waterfront. No wonder the locals head out of town for the week, staying would be like sitting in the garden burning bundles of used £20 notes.


Whilst all this financial black magic is going on, the team are hidden away in a multi-story car park round the corner. The super rich don’t want to get any oil or dirt on their Prada collection now do they! The glamour is strictly reserved for the front of house staff, not the people that do the actual work.

Then there are all the drivers, who have to negotiate between the corporate suits and a high speed steel trench. Nelson Piquet once descried a lap of Monaco as “like racing a bicycle round your living room” It’s not for the faint hearted or Maldonado’s of this world. Calm and collected through the Armco lined trench, get it wrong and it can be very painful. Kiss the barrier, even give it a playful slap now and again, but get too rough and it’ll snap back and take a wing off. Suddenly the grip will be all gone and the barrier embraces the car with warm enthusiasm.
Canada might have a short wall of champions to catch the unwary. Monaco is all concrete and steel.
This weekend, well yes it’ll all be about the tyres I’m afraid, and who is positioned best when the black stuff gives up. The smart money is on another Mercedes front row lockout and with overtaking being almost impossible, being at the front is what’s important. But the Merc don’t have the lightest touch with their tyres, so despite raw one lap speed, they might struggle to turn that into a win. But if they can control the pack, work together, it might work for them.
Last time in Spain Ferrari knew from the first practice they were going to go with a four stop race and planned accordingly. The teams that tried to be clever and work a three stopper, failed. Being realistic about they tyres, understanding what they will do rather than what they hope they’ll do will be key for the team on pole.
If Merc get it wrong, then Alonso and Kimi will be right behind them to pick up the pieces. Monaco is a proper drivers circuit, but it still needs a car that can deliver the driver to the front. Ferrari and Lotus look to have just such a car. Redbull… well the last three years have been good to the Milton Keynes chancers, with Webber having two wins to Vettels one. Can they make it four on the bounce, I don’t think so, but if Vettel plants it on pole then he’ll stand just as good a chance as the rest.
Anyway.....
Qualifying starts on Thursday here, for reasons unknown, so please update your predictions before Wednesday midnight.. cheers

No Joe ... you're wrong.

Okay, right .. looking after tyres ... That's fine.

Looking after a fragile car ... that too is fine. 

Looking after tyres and driving at 75% to do so  ... that's not fine. 

Going flat out and looking after the tyres, that's okay.


In this day and age a modern F1 car from the back of the midfield boys forward is not going to fail mechanically. They are pretty much bullet proof. So you need to introduce a random element that gives the pit wall something to think about.

I understand that.

But giving the teams tyres that they can't really race on. Well no i don't understand that. And whilst the likes of Joe Seward complain that he is the only one that truly understands what is going on and we are all fools for thinking otherwise ... It's not much of a race if the winner is the one that drove slow enough to look after his tyres. Its not really racing is it ?

Well i don't think it is.

Ragging the arse off the car and rolling the dice with an extra stop ... fair enough. Driving Conservatively to get to the end without losing too many places ... screw that. Its not going to get the blood pumping to watch cars tool around, the pitwall telling the driver to slow down or he'll need to make a 5th stop.

That's artificial racing, right there. 

Back to Europe and sensible start times.

Hello, how are you all ?

Looking forward to watching the racing at a more reasonable hour I hope. Yes, we’re back in Europe with packed grandstands in the rolling green (ish) hills of Spain and the Circuit de Catalunya. One thing is going to be a nailed on certainty this weekend; Maldonado will not be standing anywhere near the podium on Sunday evening. No sire Bob. Not a chance in hell. Not even in the top ten, no way buddy.

Well, probably not. You never know with this sport.

It’s all been pretty quite after the frenzy of the first four flyaway races. The teams have hunkered down in their respective factories with the boffins pouring over the date acquired over the last two months, trying to find the answers to why the cars are; a bit rubbish (McLaren), a bit slow (Ferrari) and lacking a bit of rear grip (Mercedes). So the PR machines have been a bit quite all around.

Bernie popped up to tell Marussia, the last place team that they wouldn’t be getting any TV money next year. Marussia shrugged and nodded at Caterham and smiled. While Williams after thinking about it, started telling anyone that “it wouldn’t apply to the established teams ... would it ?”

Lotus have waved goodbye to the only thing that was making a difference. James Allison, the best F1 designer you’ve never heard off, has been tempted away to ... well take your pick from Ferrari, McLaren and Mercedes. And why, you ask, is this such big news? Well Allison is pretty much credited with being the best thing in F1 design circles after Newey. Considering how much money Redbull throw at the team, they achieve what they are capable of. Lotus on the other hand, has a pittance from Genii capital and still they are the next best thing, ahead of the big rollers Ferrari and Mercedes. A lot of people in the pit lane put this firmly at Allison’s doorstep. He’s got a cheap car up there with the richest team on the grid ... imagine what he could do a shed load of cash and a nice sunny view over Maranello *wink*wink*

 So I'm kind of expecting Lotus to fade a bit now, unless he’s left a big fat folder marked “Things to fix next” on his desk.

What else is new? Well Hamilton has expressed his delight in his new “Mercedes Freedom”, whilst talking about being “okay with being Alonso’s team mate ... if that ever happened”, but he still want to see his 3 year Merc contract out. Which is nice.

Button doesn’t think the McLaren upgrades for Spain will be up to much, but I think they showed in Bahrain that they’re maybe not that far off the big boys. Maybe its sneaky, “We’re no threat what so ever” ploy, from Button. That or he’s getting his excuse in early for why Perez over takes him this time.

As for the race then, well,  anyone want to take a punt on anything other than a Redbull ? no me neither. Maybe a Merc for pole again, this time Hamilton perhaps, but Vettel is the form driver to beat right now. Unless anyone has brought an amazing upgrade which changes the game in one move.

The main interest here will be the seeing which teams have opted to put all their development time into next year’s car. The midfield boys have to decide it they can nab a few extra points and move up the table for more TV money. Or concentrate on not going backwards whilst putting all their money into next year’s car. The back row Jonnies have nothing to lose trying to beat the midfield chaps, but don’t want to be that last place team that gets nothing next year. Marussia look like they’re pulling out all the stops here and Caterham might well be firing Van De Garde if he has another rubbish race.   

Whilst this is happening, the front running teams will look at staying ahead of the midfield. Merc and McLaren if they’re being realistic are not going to win the title so there isn't too much point developing the nuts off the car now. Ferrari, will give it a race or so to see if Lotus can keep it up or Redbull pull away too much. But Ferrari will still try regardless though, purely through pride.

These boys can pretty much afford to run two development teams anyway, so they’re not fussed either way. Lotus though are on a shoestring still so they’ll look at where they are relative to Redbull and try to figure out how much it’ll cost to close that gap.

 So, a race to set the tone for the rest of the season then.

Good luck. 

Who cares, summers here.

Alright maybe Lotus is going to be the one to beat this year. Well, once they beat Vettel of course.

I spent Sunday having a jolly good time with friends and a cheeky bottle of red from the south side of the Loire I'm afraid.  So I'm not too sure what happened in the race.

Sorry.

Alonso’s flappy wing got stuck, so he wasn’t going to get many points, that’s now two races out of four that have cost him points. Hamilton demonstrated to Nico that going fast on Saturday isn’t as important as being fast on Sunday. And the Lotus boys laid a marker down for the rest of the season, they’re going to be up the sharp end all year it would appear.

Force India got their act together at last and Di Resta showed he can be as irritating as any of the top runner. Also getting their act together was McLaren and surprise, surprise Perez finally grew a pair and showed why he’s a McLaren driver, a proper feisty run in an underpowered car.

Okay, the FIA website isn’t publishing the official results as I write this, so things might change. But I’ve seen nothing to say the FIA have thrown the rule book at anyone in the top ten, so I’ll go with the result on Autosport. If there are any problems I’ll sort it all out later.

So Vettel gets his second win of the year and no one can complain he stole this one. Nico beat him to pole on Saturday to pretty much every one’s surprise. But when the lights went out on Sunday it didn’t take Vettel too long to get to the front. This time Redbull didn’t try to be too clever or roll any dice, they just went for outright speed and controlled the race from the front.  When the TV director spend 90% of the race watching McLaren team mates duking it out, you know the leaders under no pressure what so ever. And so it proved today, this win pops Vettel into the lead of the championship and I think on current form its going to take a lot to shift him. Ho hum

Kimi is Second and again it was because he looked after the tires and didn’t do anything stupid. He’s now ten points behind Vettel in the championship and yes it looks like it’s going to be a two horse race between these two. It could be worse; it could be between Vettel and Webber I suppose.

Grosjean, yes remember him? Well he didn’t hit anyone or do anything stupid and delivered the points with a solid third. Well done him.

Di Resta. There you go, get your team mate to rile you up into a towering rage of self important self righteous indignation and you too can finally show the world that you do indeed have some talent. All that PR nonsense wasn’t just smoke and mirror it seems. Well, in reality he should have had a podium and didn’t really make Grosjean work too hard, so I'm still not too sure why some people think he’s the second coming. But give the kid his five minutes of glory; he’s equalled his best F1 result to date.

Hamilton, in a face saving drive from ninth to fifth result and he still can’t do any wrong in my book. More rubbish British drivers would have just let Webber cruise off into the distance, but Lewis kept at it and once again showed Nico just who is the number one driver at Mercedes.

Perez, oh lordy can you believe it the Mexican Dullard actually has a pair of balls and can actually race like a proper F1 driver. He was feisty all race, dealt with Button who was being extremely slow and rubbish and  looked like he actually knew what the loud pedal was for. He’s still boring and far as I'm concerned, when the team manager has to tell the media that his driver has to get his finger out, you know he’s dull.  But this might just be the race that Perez looks back as the turning point.

Webber, was never going to be up the front and so it proved. A late race dice with Hamilton was entertaining whilst it lasted.

Alonso then. What seemed like “the year to finally win” is fast turning into “the year it all went wrong”. Everyone expected Ferrari to walk away with the race but a sticky flappy wing meant two early unscheduled stops and an afternoon tooling around avoiding Perez and Maldonado. Just think last year everyone in a Ferrari top was running around like a headless chicken, waving their arms about and declaring it the worst Ferrari ever. This year they started the season with a knowing wink and a gleam in their eye that it couldn’t be as bad as that again!! Never count you winner’s trophies until Vettel stops waving his finger around. A salutary lesson for us all there, I think.

Rosberg ninth, well that didn’t go to plan did it! Get pole and win was the game plan, not get pole and rag the back side off the car and drop slowly down the order until you limp home behind a man with no DRS for the ENTIRE race. Hopeless, absolutely hopeless! I said he needed to show everyone what he was made of and remind the team that it was him that held it all together as Mickey collected the pay cheques. I mean the pole was brilliant, no one predicted that and the first time Mercedes got back to back poles since Moss and Fangio in 1955. And yes I know the Mercs are really hard on their rear tyres, but Hamilton can deliver the results, why can’t Nico?

Finally Button had a race to forget in tenth, it was all rather embarrassing, having to plead with the team to stop Perez trying to over take him. A sort of half hearted attempt at dominating his team mate was rather limp wristed and Perez was soon past. Like Perez, Jenson might well look back as this weekend as a turning point. The car looks to be back on track though, if not yet fast enough to challenge the top ten on Sunday. If they just had two drivers that could qualify well, they’d have more options and not have to try and pick up points like a pair of fat pigeons standing under the bird table.

Vettel got the fastest lap, just to show off I think,

And Van Der Garde is last yet again. I think he’s going to get fired any day now. Kovalainen was back in the car on Friday here to “Help the team evaluate the car and its problems” he said they had two rubbish drivers and maybe they shouldn’t have fired him last year. So, if you don’t have Mr Garde in last, you’re really missing the point of this game ! 

Is Lotus about to surprise us all ?

hmmmm Ice cream ........... i need and ice cream ... mmmmmh

Are we about to see a championship fight between two big old grandees of the sport ?

Many hacks far too long in the tooth are starting to talk of this year being one of a Ferrari v Lotus slugfest. Redbull are being quietly written off in a “lets hope those terrible oiks have learnt their lesson and just go away” type muttering into a very stiff pink gin. I’m not sure why, they had a bit of a rough ride in China, but that was only the third race. There’s plenty of racing yet to be done and Redbull don’t particularly look like they’ve given up just yet.

But people who apparently know a thing or two are talking up Lotus as the new (well “new” this century) kid on the block. But I think they’re just confused by Kimi being a bit more focus than the last time he was racing. Grosjean has had two pretty unspectacular races where he just sort of tooled around not getting in the way and avoided any sort of controversy. The Lotus car might be reliable and in the hands of Kimi quick, but this year isn’t really about being quick is it? It’s about making sure you’ve got the tyres to take you to the finish line, if the driver chews the tyres up getting to the front, he’ll be a sitting duck for the cars behind that have some meat left to race with.

As Vettel demonstrated in China a car on new rubber can close a 10 second lap down in five laps at the end of a race. All those midfield also ran’s are going to look at that and think, “With a 20 second lead of the guy behind, it’ll be worth rolling the dice at the end of the race and seeing how far we can get with some new tyres”

So then, are Lotus (or more realistically here, Kimi) the new power house of the grid ?

Well, I don’t think so I’m afraid. I think Redbull dropped the ball, tried to recover the fumble and fell on their face last weekend. Vettel almost made it work, but a mistake at the end and he missed out on the podium. All Kimi, like Alonso, did was to get his car dialled into the track and then stroked it home to a podium.

Mercedes had a car that was initially quick but couldn’t maintain the tyres or pace for a full stint. Also, apparently, the wing on Hamilton’s car got clogged up with bits of rubber as the race went on and that caused the front end to lose grip and blah blah blah high tyre ware.

So Kimi (Lotus) and Alonso (Ferrari) were the only two driver to not suffer any sort of problem and unsurprisingly they were the ones at the front. Not because they were any better than the Merc or the Redbull, they just didn’t need to push the car and make mistakes.

And that’s going to be the story of the season, like so many seasons before it. If the driver tools round like a nutter he’s not going to get any points and will get fired at the end of the year …. Maldonado for instance, is a prime example of this.

So then, it’s another quick turn around and the circus is already in Bahrain for this weekend’s GP.

Do you remember a year ago, there was an awful hullabaloo about Bahrain and whether the F1 circus should even be there?

 The evil government were oppressing the saintly population who were demanding free speech and liberty in all the media around the world.

Remember?

There was a huge stink about it all for ooooh a good three days whilst the world’s media was in Bahrain. Most of whom you will note, where sitting around the swimming pool and making up stories of nightly riots and kids being clubbed to death on street corners.

Yeah, that’s the one. Now have a think about how much those self righteous media types have written about Bahrain since. Go on, have a good hard think and recall how many column inches there have been about the government or the people and the situation in Bahrain in the last year. I can’t think of any. Do you not think that’s a bit odd?

And the thing is the situation has changed. There are talks about more democracy and more freedoms. Not the sort of talks that end with rich people getting more rich either. Proper actual, “let’s make things better” type talks.

Oh there’s still a certain level of simmering resentment you always get when one group has power and another doesn’t. But the really trouble makers are allegedly Iranians looking to destabilise the place so Hezbollah can walk on in a set up camp.

And can you recall seeing anything recently about the fact the F1 circus is heading back to Bahrain when apparently nothing has changed? No, me neither.

So my point is, there was a lot made of the fact F1 was there last year. And most of it was from hacks that don’t normally travel with or even cover sporting event. They were there because there was a story to be had and a nice trip to a warm swimming pool to boot. And when the story turned out to be a lot of very peaceful people talking to a government that actually listen ... they had to go and find the story they wanted in the back streets down the dodgier end of town. I’m pretty sure if you travel in the darker areas of Manchester, London and Liverpool you’d find people willing to give you a similar tale. The dirt poor of any country always know they’re the ones with the most to gain from talking to the media.

Anyway ... there’s another race this weekend.

Webber has been given a grid penalty for crashing into Vergne last week. So he won’t be on pole.

Ferrari are playing their cards close to their sharp suits, with a, “It’s difficult to tell who’s going well at the moment” which is tantamount to holding up a big sign in Italian that says, “hurrrh at least we’ve got a better car than McLaren this year”. Alonso has got the bit between his teeth and I think he believes he’s got the car to take him all the way this time.

Mercedes have been talking about a quite year still, but every time the camera cuts away you can see Ross high fiving the lads on the pit wall and opening bottles of champagne. If Rosberg is going to remind everyone he is actually a racing driver and not the tea boy, then this weekend will be crucial. He’s either going to blow Lewis away or over drive the car off into the desert.

So, well Vettel, Alonso and Kimi for the podium, Lewis or Rosberg to follow them up and maybe grab a bottle of fizz if the other three fumble the ball. I think Force India might do quite well here; it’s about time they got their act together. McLaren and button might make it to the top 5 with a stiff wind and a bit of luck; he might even give Massa a run for his money. Webber with a poor qualifying slot will have to work his way back up the order, let’s be honest it’s not something he’s particularly good at. Then it’s between the Torro Rosso’s and Hulkenberg for the bottom of the top ten.

It’s worth noting that Pirelli are bringing harder tyres than they originally planned to this weekend, with mediums and hards for the teams rather than mediums and softs. I think the sight of cars pitting after just 5 laps might have swayed them, and the teams endlessly complaining about how rubbish the soft tyres are. So the joker strategy will be a one stop attempt by those starting around the bottom of the top ten. If Webber misses the Q3 cut he’ll try the long game with, I suspect, Button and Perez.

Right that’s enough rambling, get you predictions together before tomorrow night and good luck.

Its all about the soft sticky stuff.

Right then what did you think of that?

Exciting stuff with overtaking aplenty and a fascinating game of chess from the grand masters on the pit wall ? or A dull event where the driver with the ability to look after his tyres took the win ?

Do you remember when DRS was introduced a few years back, and the old guard came crawling out of the wood work to decry “this artificial racing”. It wasn’t real racing because “Fangio never needed this driver aid and he was a real red blooded hero, pass the pink gin nurse”. Which as we all know is utter rubbish because Fangio and Mercedes were spending more money than England did on tea to beat the rag tag buckets of bolts he was up against.

Well the old guard have been woken from their gin soaked slumbers yet again to complain bitterly that driving the car to look after the tyres is once again, not actual racing!  Forgetting in their alcohol haze of course those days when half the cars would fall apart after 10 laps. These days’ cars just don’t fail, engines run for race after race with no loss of power. Pit stops are over in the blink of an eye and drivers are fitter than Olympic triathlets.   Long gone are the days when Keke would flick his cigarette across the pit lane, haul his gold jewellery into his Williams and stick the thing on pole. No more tales of all night drinking sessions and Playboy bunnies being found wondering in hotel corridors as dawn breaks on race day.

No, these days every single little detail is on a list and has been analysed until a pit stop takes 2.1 seconds and the pit wall tells the driver to lift 0.02 seconds earlier into turn 4 to save 0.01 seconds on his sector time.

Sanitary, it’s all very sanitised and ruthlessly efficient.

So you have to throw something random into the mix these days to give the pit wall something to think about. They know the soft tyres will last five or six laps, but with a full load of fuel will that be four laps and a slippery in lap? or can the star turn make it seven and only lose a spot or two off the line? And if he can make them last will the next set work as well, for as long, or is it best to switch to the harder tyres earlier and take the hit on race position? Then you have to worry about what everyone else is doing.

This week we saw Redbull trip themselves up as team infighting and a general air of bad blood pervaded the garage. Webber was to confirm he was off to Porsche and endurance racing next year at the end of the event, so his mind was elsewhere as he ran out of petrol in qualifying and the FIA threw the book at him.

Whilst Vettel told everyone he wasn’t really sorry and didn’t care what Webber thought of him. On the track he just didn’t seem to be able to find a balance with the car on the soft tyres as the Redbull was chewing them up in handful of laps. Usually he’d go out in Q3 and stick it on the front row with ease, this time he put on a set of the hard tyres and tooled round and back into the pits without setting a time. To be fair everyone was complaining about the soft tyres being a bit Mickey Mouse here. But Redbull have been complaining since the start of the season that they’re being specifically penalised because they’re too fast. Which is complete rot and they know it.

Pole was left for Ferrari and Mercedes to fight over with most experienced hacks calling it an easy 1-2 for the Italian squad. But as the flagged drop to end qualifying it was Hamilton sitting on the top of the heap with his first pole for his new pay masters as more and more the switch from McLaren looks like the right thing. But Kimi had popped into second and pushed Alonso back to confirm that Malaysia was probably just a blip in the Lotus push for championship glory.

Sunday, then was going to be about the tyres. Button and Vettel were going to try and pull a 2 stopper and look after the tyres for as long as possible and drag themselves from the back of the top ten starting on the hard rubber. The rest were three stopping and starting on the very, very soft tyres. There were a few nervous looking pit walls as the cars waited for the lights to go out. The pundits said they’d all be back in within 5 laps.

Off the line, Hamilton kept it sensible whilst it was Kimi’s turn to have a starting system throw a wobbler and he was swallowed up by the fast starting Ferrari duo.  Lewis tried to build a lead but you don’t leave Alonso in the dust when he has a sniff of the top step. For a whole five laps we saw some racing for the lead, then those that had started on the soft stuff started to peel into the pits for more suitable rubber. As they fed back into the pack, Vettel and Hulkenburg of all people, were left at the front to scrap it out.

This time Vettel couldn’t just ask the pit wall to hobble the driver in front, so he complained that he could go half a second faster if the Sauber driver would just get out of his way. Horner told him to get on with it and no one was surprised when he didn’t. As they came in together for their first stop, Redbull did what it does best and turned their driver round ahead of the Sauber boys. And that was the end of Hulkenbergs challenge. Vettel once again, needed a pit stop to pass.

Button was also up the front with a slow but steady run looking after his tyres and trying not to get in the way too much. He knew the McLaren was no match for any front line machinery, so this was a damage limitation dash for point run only. No clever stuff required.

Hamilton had lost out to Alonso in the pit stops and tried hard to stay with the Ferrari as it carved its way through the back markers. But the Merc doesn’t quite have the legs of Alonso when he’s on fire and Lewis was soon joined by Kimi who was recovering from his poor start and early attempt to break his nose off on Perez’s gearbox. As the laps ticked over Alonso pulled out a 10 second lead and had plenty of time to make his third pit stop. Kimi sneaked past Lewis and they too stopped for their final set of tyres.  Vettel meanwhile was trying to get as far as possible on his second set of hard tyres before switching to the soft rubber for as few laps as possible.

Finally with five laps to go he peeled in from second for the soft stuff and pulled back out into fourth and just eleven seconds down the road from Hamilton and a podium finish. For those five laps he caught the Merc at almost three seconds a lap, nailing sector after sector so as the final lap started be was within touching distance of the plucky Brit. He had the car, the tyres and the chance to make it to the podium, but where he should have had the calm head to pick the spot to nick the points, he lost the plot and attempted to lunge it up the inside from a country mile back. Lewis is far smarter than that and was past the apex by the time Vettel came sliding into the corner, that was the last of last the soft tyres had to give and he tank slapped it onto the long back straight and his podium shot spluttered out.

So then Alonso didn’t really have too much work to do, a couple of passes when required to keep him on track and a cool head to look after the tyres was the order of the day. It’s the sort of drive that Alonso can do in his sleep and shows that Ferrari have a solid shot at the title this year. The car was dialled into the track whilst he Redbull rival struggled with a lack of rear grip. China isn’t like any other circuit in that it tends to require the teams to set the car up for the track they find on Friday. It’s not predictable with its grip and wear rates so a car that goes well here either lucks into a good setup (Nico last year) or is flexible enough to allow the engineers to dial it in quickly. The Ferrari just got better and better as the weekend went on and when the chequered flag dropped it was Alonso sitting on the top step. It means we might have the making of a classic championship race.

This is pretty much confirmed with Kimi in second. Even after he smacked the Perez who was weaving around getting in everyone’s way all race long, Kimi stuck at the job and drove around the problem to stay with the leaders. Last time in Malaysia Alonso breathed into the back of Vettels gearbox and lost his wing and a hatful of precious points. This time Kimi nailed the McLarens rear and just ripped a hole in the top surface of the nose. Obviously Lady Luck was drinking Vodka late last night. It’s that sort of thing that gives you championships and I think the only think that is going to make it difficult for the Lotus driver is Lotus. There is still a big question over who’s paying the bills at headquarters.

Another race and another podium for Lewis in third and this time he earned it all on his own. Rosberg continued his run of poor luck with a broken suspension component and his second DNF of the season. Whilst Lewis tried to stay with the Ferrari and Lotus, they had the speed over one lap but couldn’t quite stay with them as the tyres went off. Lewis has always been a driver to trash the car to line, which is fine if you’ve got the rubber under you, but these days he has to learn to stroke the car to the line. Its a good result and he wasn’t fazed by Vettel coming at him like a freight train. The talk at the start of the season was all about staying with the leaders and not looking too rubbish, after three races expectations have moved up to maybe a win or two and an outside shot at the title. It’s still early days, but this moves seems to have revitalized Hamilton’s desire to race.

Vettel rolled the dice on this one for perhaps the first time in his Redbull career. The car wasn’t dialled in and he had to work hard to get points today. Not setting a final qualifying time must have been hard for a driver that has made Banzi pole laps his own of late. It meant he had to actually drive the car for the points this time too, rather than steal them off his team mate. In the end he showed why so many people dismiss him as “an average driver in a top draw car”. He really should have nicked third off Hamilton, with a bit more calculation and less “Schnell Schnell !!!!!!!” he would have waited till the back straight and crused passed in the braking zone. But he lunged from a mile back and the tyres told him they’d had enough. It was a great drive back to Hamilton, but he really should have got the points there.

Button, fifth, did alright with a car that looks slow and unresponsive. There’s no poise there no, dancing on the edge of adhesion. No this is a car that needs that fables McLaren development crunch. So a fifth is about what is deserves right now. It’s behind the Redbull, Ferrari and Lotus, probably the Mercs too, they just don’t have the pace to chase the big boys and Perez is going to need to get his act together sooner rather than later. They need direction, no weaving around getting in the way.

Massa, sixth, sort of faded away and looked like the Massa of last season again. Alonso drove a controlled positive race and Massa should really have been tail gunner to the line.

Ricciardo was seventh and would have got sixth if he hadn’t had to change his nose. I’m not sure why he had to change it, but the team say it cost him a place. This is the sort of result the Torro Rosso drivers will need to deliver week in week out with the news that Webber is off at the ends of the year. A prime seat is going at the sister team and Ricciardo is the first to leave a marker on it.

Di Resta tried hard not to finish at all but eventually made it to eighth.

Grosjean had another unexciting drive to ninth and is looking more and more second rate as Kimi gets a head of steam up for the title. Well, I suppose he isn’t hitting anyone anymore, so that’s a good thing ... isn’t it?

 Hulkenberg was tenth, with a car that led the race at one stage. He had the grunt to keep Vettel behind him for eight laps of so, but then Sauber got all panicky and he was faded into the background. He did better than Gutierrez though, who made the rookie mistake of not listening to his race engineer when he told him the car was heavier and would therefore need “more room to SLOW DOWN” at the start of the race. He slammed into the back of Sutil’s Force India on lap two and the FIA threw the book at him. A five place grid penalty awaits the Mexican manic in Bahrain.

Finally Mr Van der Garde beat Max to the final spot this week. See, all you nay sayers, Max isn’t the worst driver out there! There is a long list to choose from, Gutierrez and Perez are my current favourite idiots at the moment. Van der Garde looks way out of his depth. So yeah leave of Max, he’s doing all right.

Williams watch...he look ..... Maldonado managed to make it to the finish whilst sat in the car for a change! Bottas beat him, but hey he finished, 5 seconds ahead of Bianchi in a Marussia hurrah!

Evil man flu

Run save yourselves.....

Vettel wants it, just that little bit more.

Who would be a formula one racing driver?

It starts when you’re a child, sitting on your father’s knee hearing tales of Fangio and Moss fighting for the World championship, when you barely know what the world is, watching flickering images of supermen on a Sunday afternoon TV.

It begins at the local kart track in two stroke motors zipping round and round. Making friends with other kids with dreams and their fathers who missed their big break, the karts get bigger and faster, friendships stronger.

Then it’s trips to see local business men and “opportunities to promote the brand, sir” and the dream gets diluted  .....just a tiny little bit.  With luck, the karts get left behind and new bigger faster cars are bought. Some friends are lost, the unlucky ones who can’t smile on cue and distil a 40 minute race into a cute 5 second sound bite.

Time moves on and the dream is diluted more as there is less racing and more promotion, selling the idea of the dream to suits with desks that never move. With luck a lower championship might be won here and there, or the right suit sees the right race on the right day. An impression is made and a winning smile used to beguile the suit. More friends are lost to tin tops and racing in the dark, a select few find homes abroad on circuits that only go left.

Then it’s the big time and a chance to stand at the back of a garage watching the big boys play the game, maybe the odd drive on a Friday morning perhaps, with all your remaining mates hanging around in the other garages on pit row. When suddenly one of the supermen, who all turn out to be ordinary lads just like you and not at all super, decides he’s had enough of talking to suits and being told what to do so walks into the sunset. 

Eventually there is no dream, the dream now is what the suit says and the boss on the pit wall calls. You’re not there to win, you’re there to play tail gunner and pick up points towards the constructors championship. Now and again you’ll luck into a better grid position maybe a spot or two ahead of the star. But never think you’re there because the team wills it. No, you’re there because the star turn has had an off weekend when his international jet set girlfriend has thrown a tantrum because she didn’t get recognised in hospitality.  

This weekend saw the same story played out for two drivers. One knows the story far too well, has seen it played out countless times over the recent past. The other was introduced to the story for the first time. Money and corporate interest have over taken the dream now, you were never one of the chosen few to be a super star and you probably never even knew you had the chance before it was taken away from you. One of the suits liked the smile of your friend just that little bit more and was given that barely imperceptible nod that said “I choose you”.

And as for your friends, well they all turn out to be ready to sell their souls to get an advantage over you. No longer willing to stand up in court and tell the judge they didn’t see the glass in your hand that caught that CEO by accident. They are happy to apologies for stealing the win from you, in a room full of nameless hacks that are looking for a story to hang another race on. Happy to smile in your face and stab you in the media.

Really, who would be a formula one racing driver ?

So then, Vettel steals  gets his first win of the year and stakes an early claim on the title. To be fair the move he made on Webber to take the lead was top draw stuff and was pretty spectacular. He’d spent half the race eating the grumpy Australians dust, complained to the team that he didn’t like being in second place and could they please tell Webber to get out of his way with no success. So he took matter into his own hands and when Webber was told they had stopped racing now and could he just stroke it home for the win, stuck a set of sticky tyres on and blasted up the inside into turn one. Webber was initially rather surprised, Horner told Vettel to “calm down old man, stop being a silly boy” Webber fought back for a couple of turns, thought Vettel was show boating for a bit and was going to give the place back. But the German didn’t even apologise he just sailed off in the distance to the big silver trophy and the champagne spray.

 What does this tell us about the Vettel/Webber dynamic then ?

Possibly it tells us that Vettel now doesn’t think he has to follow any team order, maybe as his chief mechanic said on the pit wall, he just wanted it more than Webber. Or maybe Webber wasn’t expecting Vettel to blatantly disregard team order and effectively steal the race from him.  Also don’t forget the team personnel who look after Webbers car on the other side of the garage, It wasn’t just Webber who lost a win; they just lost a win bonus. That sort of thing can really stir things up in the pressure cooker of a garage.

The flight home will be an interesting one, there might well be a certain amount of seat reallocation taking place tonight.

Anyway, Vettel got the pole and is credited with the win. You might take the view he deserved the win, and that pass as I said was pretty good, but I think blind siding a man when he’s not expecting it is kind of cheap. Sure that’s what makes you world champions and all, but it never made Schumacher look all that great and it doesn’t look clever now either.

Still it makes the rest of the season fun!

Webber was second and I think he’ll be justified in feeling robbed. He was there on merit and through doing a better job on the track. When the call came that they were to hold station he stopped racing and settled down to see out the remaining laps. When he saw Vettel steaming up the inside into turn one, he closed the door but not enough. A feisty defence through 2, 3 and 4 wasn’t enough to stop Vettel who had the bit between his teeth. With two cars pretty equal on pace you either need the leader to make a mistake or catch him napping, and once passed there isn’t a lot the guy behind can do.

Walking into the holding cell before the podium Webber looked like he was all ready to smack the German in the face, repeating several times that the pit wall had called the race and they were supposed to be holding station, Newey looked uncomfortable and Vettel didn’t appear to give a monkeys what Webber thought the call was. It’s to his credit that he didn’t, because you know these days are few and far between when the pitwall calls it his race. It’s yet  another notch on the post that says Webber has not finished higher than he started since Spa 2012.

Hamilton is third with his first podium since joining Mercedes, except as he rightly admitted on that podium, he didn’t really deserve it. Corporate expediency left Nico behind him with a faster car and a burning desire to prove he has the talent to win the championship. Nico was ahead of Lewis all weekend long, except when it actually mattered, in practice and the early rounds of qualifying he was the class Mercedes driver. Except when the flag fell as the end of qualifying and the race, Lewis was ahead of him.  That’s what Lewis does you know, he’ll go out there and driver right through any problem he has, he just goes faster when it counts.  In the race he was the one that took the fight to the Redbulls, he was told to burn up the tyres and chase the blue cars ahead of him, and that’s what he did. It wasn’t his fault that the team didn’t have enough juice in the car to get to the end, the same as it wasn’t Nico fault. Well except it kind of was, Lewis did as he was told and closed the gap to Vettel and Nico was left behind. When the next set of tyres didn’t quite work for Lewis, Nico closed down, but couldn’t quite pass. Then when Ross called to say that was all the fun over with and hold station because they didn’t have enough fuel, Nico did have enough because he hadn’t ragged it to trying to win. Its all well and good begging the boss to let you have a crack at the Redbulls when they’re 10 seconds up the road and everyone knows the race is over. Beating your team mate doesn’t mean jack when you hang around until he’s hobbled, just look up the road, do you think this is one of Vettels greatest ever races? No of course not, he beat a man that was told he was safe.  So whilst I have a certain amount of sympathy for Nico, Lewis was ahead of him when it mattered in qualifying and the race. Well done for not being a cock like Vettel, but that’s how it works if you’re not ahead of your team mate when the team give the order.

Nico was thus fourth and should have qualified better.

Massa was fifth in what is turning into a bit of a purple patch for the Brazilian. Once again he out qualified Alonso and this time it was the Spaniard who got all unnecessary off the start line and broke his wing before the end of the second corner.  Alonso should just know better than to clout the back of Vettel with his wing, those things are there for a reason and they don’t last long at high speed when half of it isn’t connected to the car anymore. Anyway, back to Massa who did another fine job of not getting lost or hitting anything and delivered points when the star turn had his moment of madness.  

It’s interesting that the talk of Massa leaving any day now has largely gone. Though there are now whisperings from the tin foil hat brigade that Webber will leave Redbull now and walk into Massa’s seat before we get to China. Like Webber is going to play second fiddle to Alonso when he can’t stand to be beaten by Vettel! He always throws a hissy fit when Horner slaps him down, why would he want to swap a winning Blue car for a third rate Red car and do the same thing?

Grosjean was sixth with a better race than last week, the smooth warm track obviously not suiting the Lotus as much as the rough cold Australian did. Lotus didn’t look like taking any sort of fight to the front this week.

Kimi was seventh and he was lucky to get that. He struggled all weekend with the handling of the Lotus and just couldn’t find a balance that suited him. He was bounced back three places on the grid for holding up some one or other in qualifying and spent most of the race looking at the back of Perez’s McLaren. We might not see the Lotus at the front again until we get back to Europe and those rough old tracks in the rain. Until then Kimi will be hoping that this weekend was just a blip in the title challenge.

Hulkenberg was eighth finally getting his 2013 season going after last week’s fuel cell issue and as expected he’s ahead of Gutierrez. It’s a solid if boring result, as Sauber stick to form and just sort of tool round collecting points. Nothing too controversial now!

Perez was ninth and spent most of the race getting in the way of people, mostly the two Lotus drivers and anyone else actually racing. Interesting these are the first points he’s scored since signing for McLaren.  Talking of which we saw a return of the comedy McLaren pit crew today as they sent Jenson off without screwing on his right front wheel, I thought this stuff had been sorted out.  Hamilton even stopped in their pit at one point to tell them to get their act together.

And finally Vergne was tenth, I didn’t really see him to have an opinion. These are the sort of results that the Torro Rosso should be getting regularly but seem to surprise when they happen.  A lack of Alonso, Button and the two Force India’s would pretty much account for this result.

Our last place driver this week is Max Chilton, who is being comprehensible beaten by his team mate, Bianchi.  So it’s not the car that’s letting him down here. The reality of playing with the bigger boys is starting to dawn here I suspect. That dream once dreamt so very long ago will have to have a very strong core to keep this little boy going all year long.

So then, what do we know after two races? Well the Redbull is a good qualifying car and on a smooth track, pretty unbeatable. The only thing that might stop them is a civil war between two sides of the garage.

Mercedes have a car that is fast, but they have to run it hard and light to keep it at the front.

Ferrari has a very fast car but Lady Luck is still not drinking champers in the red hospitality unit.

Lotus has a car that has a sweet spot that needs to be teased out to play.

The death of McLaren might be a bit premature.

Sauber are still the same old conservative team of old.

Williams have in Bottas a star and Maldonado a someone to crash test the car.

Torro Rosso are still there to make up the numbers.

Force India needs some money to develop the good ideas on the car.

Caterham have taken a step back with two drivers of varying quality.

And Marussia have taken a step forward with one driver at least.