Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Give it up Schumacher you're starting to be an embarrasment !!

It’s another Vettel benefit race as he cruises from the pole to the win. This time it was the Ferrari of Alonso that took the fight to the Redbull as the McLarens got bogged down fighting each other, whilst the Mercedes of Rosberg and Schumacher failed to deliver their qualifying potential.

The weekend had started with misty skies and a very wet track on Friday, most of the big boys didn’t bother to trouble the timing beam. They figured that driving around a wet track when the race was forecast to be bone dry was a waste of time and could prove costly. Just how costly that could be was demonstrated by Vettel who did go out and after a wobbly lap or two told the team “Hey chaps .. Watch this !!!“ Before promptly stuffing it into the wall and writing off the brand new updates the team had just finished bolting onto his car.
Everyone else looked on and though “ho ho, we might be in with a shout here” Vettels car was too badly damaged to take part in the second practice session and everyone really thought they really did had a chance then. Both of the Merc’s looked fast, but there were some glum faces at McLaren as things didn’t seem to be going their way.

Come Saturday and qualifying and the Redbull mechanics had rebuilt Vettels car, so well was it rebuilt in fact, that it just cruised past everyone else and took a pretty easy pole. The only surprise was that Rosberg was still up the sharp end of the grid in third. Maybe Schumacher had been right and the Merc has got better with three weeks rest. The McLaren’s were behind the two Redbulls as Webber had got his act together this race and was only just behind Vettel rather than the back of the grid. Hamilton saved some pride for Woking by being 4th ahead of Alonso who was smiling for a change and Button was sixth. Schumacher confirmed the potential of the Merc by getting between the Renaults of Petrov and Heidfeld in eight spot. Whilst Massa showed he was almost as good as he used to be in tenth. Could Rosberg push Vettel on Sunday? Were Ferrari back in the hunt at last ?

So on Sunday, Rosberg hoped he’d be able to jump Vettel when the lights went out and control the race from the front. What happened was Vettel engaged first gear and shot off into the distance followed by Webber and Alonso. And that was the race for the win over with. No one got close to Vettel for the rest of the day and the only time the camera focused on the young German was at the end of the race to see him waving his bloody finger around again. This is starting to get annoying now.
This in now three wins in four races for Vettel and he just looks like he can turn it on when he needs it. Webber and Alonso were nowhere near him all day and he didn’t make the mistake of thinking he could get away with a 3 stop race this time around. When Webber and Alonso stopped with 11 laps to go for some soft tires, Vettel came in too and covered that. Can he over take anyone .... well there is no one for him to overtake at the moment, the car is reliable, KERS or no KERS balls out faster than anyone else. Ho hum, Despite the finger waving I’m kind or warming to him, so far he hasn’t arsed around and given it all the “big I am” mouth of the like of Schumacher in his prime. I’m not going to say he’s humble or anything, but he always thanks the team and says it’s them, if not more than him. As an engineer, I like that.

Anyway where was I .. Oh yeah Vettel won again.

Webber starts second and finished second. A late pit stop for the soft rubber, gives him the fastest lap and allowed him to mug Alonso in the process. Again it demonstrates that the Redbull is the class of the field even in the grumpy Australians hands. He wasn’t close to taking the fight to Vettel but he did do what his contract tells him to do.

Alonso had a happy weekend for a change and gets Ferraris first podium of the season in 3rd. About bloody time! The new wings did their job and Alonso driving the wheels of the car did the rest. Massa who loves this track couldn’t make it into the top 10 at the end, okay he had a poor pit stop with a clutch that wouldn’t engage so the wheels were spinning as the mechanics tried to give him new tires. But the point is, Massa wasn’t fighting for a podium here and that must be the bench mark of the car, it’s Alonso that made the difference and the reason you can never count him out. With his home race in Spain next he’ll want to keep the ball rolling and fight for the win.

Hamilton also has bad stop with a sticky wheel nut holding him up on his third stop and was a long way back in 4th. He got stuck behind Button at the start of the race and cooked his tires in 11 laps trying to get past. Once he’d done that he was on the back foot for the rest of the race. The sticky wheel nut robbed us of a three way fight for second spot, but in reality the McLaren wasn’t on the pace here and was lucky the Mercs were rubbish when loaded with fuel. The new aero bits can’t come soon enough if Ferrari has got their act together.

Rosberg should have got more out of this but 5th was all he gets. The car was fast when there was no fuel in it, but off the line and it looked like it was missing a gear or two. Once the flappy wings got switched on after 2 laps, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Schumacher who ended up in 12th was no better and Brawn confirmed after the race that they need to work some on the race set up. With the tires the way they are, just being in the top ten look’s to be good enough, they don’t need to be trying to get a car to pole. Rosberg’s got it in him, he just need the car to catch up.

Button gets 6th after trying to do the race on three stops. Even the famed ‘smoothest driver on the track’ couldn’t get this to work for him and he was passed by Hamilton and Rosberg at the end of the race. If he wants a tilt at the title this year he needs to get his finger out and stop relying on being smooth. Grow a pair Jenson and start ragging it lad.

Heidfeld turned up once to wave a fist at Petrov and spent the rest of the time not being as interesting as anyone else on his way to 7th. Slowly slowly catchy monkey and all that guff, I think we’ll be seeing the Renaults back here from now on as the other teams get their development programs in gear for the European season. Renault has lots of work to do.

Petrov in 8th demonstrated to Schumacher that the German should call it a day and retire with some dignity left intact. Petrov drove the nuts of the Renault and the front wing of the Mercedes and should have got more for his efforts. That he didn’t is a testament of the car not him. I like the Russian, he’s fun.

9th for Buemi, nope, I have no idea either and he gets the “did he take part in the race?”, award this time out.

Finally and unfortunately we didn’t see it, but Kobayashi come from the back of the grid, after the engine died on his first qualifying lap, to take a very well deserved 10th. As a comparison, Perez, who was 14th had the fastest lap for a long time and would have been in the top 10 too if he hadn’t lost a front wing at the start of the race. The Sauber is turning out to be a fast little car and Koby is an exciting driver with plenty of potential, imagine what he could do in say a Mercedes for instance.. (Perez is still only a legend in his own lunch time as far as I’m concerned).

The race for the chance to be crowned the most rubbish driver goes to Liuzzi in the HRT, who didn’t really have much competition this week. Every time we saw him, he was either off line being past or off the circuit being past. He was five laps behind Vettel and 2 laps behind his equally rubbish team mate Karthikeyan who has an impossible long name that’s difficult to spell even stone cold sober. This week’s amusing HRT quote comes from Liuzzi who says “Overall this has been a positive weekend up until qualifying” that’s the spirit lad.

So there you have it. The first 3 rounds didn’t lie and Redbull have a championship winning car, the driver to do and lady luck belting out Deutschland Uber alles from the top of the hospitality bus as embarrassed staff try to talk her down and get the bottle of champagne out of her hands.
Can anyone stop them .. who knows? She’s a game old lass and she’s having a grand old time.

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Put the Chocolate and wedding cake down, we're back to racing.




Right, has everyone had enough chocolate and wedding cake ? Good, then I'll begin.


Welcome back to Europe and round four of the F1 world championship. It’s always good to be back in Europe with the crowds and the history and the whole, “this in where motor racing began vibe”. Except we’re in Turkey which has no history, no vibe and no punters in the stands usually.

Which is a shame really, because i rather like this circuit because I think Tilke just about got this one right with its majestic sweeping turn 8 into the daring do turn 9 and 10 before the balls out fast run through turn 11. The rest of the track is a bit Mickey Mouse and all over the show, but turns 8 onward are a real test of daring drivers and fast cars. That’s the sort of thing I like.

So it’s about carrying the speed through the twisty bits and keeping up the momentum for the long straight after turn 10. That’s where the race is won or lost, well I think it is, so it must be true. This year it’s seems to be all about keeping the tires alive longer than the other chaps. If you can push at the end of the race whilst others are hanging on for the line, you stand a good chance of getting some points, maybe even a win. I expect Turkey to be similar to China, in that teams with fresh rubber are going to have the advantage.

So “what’s been happening these last three weeks then?”, I hear you ask.
Well News corp. Have confirmed they’d quite like a slice of the F1 action, along with an Italian investment company that counts FIAT as a major client. Ferrari is obviously in more trouble than we though. Ho ho. It’s all at the “well, how much is it worth then? “, stage of negotiations. Personally I don’t think the likes of Murdoch should be allowed to get their avaricious hands on the sport. Before you know it, it’ll all be about cheers leaders and five minute breaks after 15 laps for adverts and stuff. Less racing and more razzamatazz, if you think DRS and KERS is terrible, wait for the increase in wings size to increase advertising space.

McLaren have been grumbling about the Redbull car yet again. Asking pointed questions about the use of engine mapping to change the exhaust characteristic during qualifying. Mostly they’re annoyed they didn’t think of it first.

Talking of annoyed about not thinking of things, Ferrari are apparently bringing a whole new car, with new wings front and rear to sort out the lack of down force issue. Yet the team is still talking down its chances here, "But our car has a lot to recover: we've had wind tunnel problems and other problems in our methodology” said the chief designer, Nikolas Tombazis. Ferrari doesn’t normally admit they’ve got things horribly wrong, so I’m guessing things must really be bad.

The boys at Williams wish they just had to contend with a lack of down force. The car has been an utter dog thus far, frightening the likes of Lotus and Virgin at the back of the grid. Things have got so bad they they’ve fired (sorry, accepted the resignation of) Sam Michael and hired the disgraced former head of engineering at McLaren, Mike Coughlan. He, you may remember, got caught half inching the blue prints of the 2007 Ferrari before the FIA found out and Max started throwing his weight around. Coughlin’s been over in America for the last few years waiting for the fall out to subside. Now he’s back, let’s see if he can bring anything to the once great Williams team. Personally I think this is the same as sticking a plaster on the hulk of the Titanic and claiming it’s all going to be fine if the band could just start up again please. Firing your team manager and engineering chief after 3 races is never a recipe for success.

Talking of rubbish circuits run by morally questionable dictatorships, Bahrain has been given until to the 3rd of June to either shoot all the peasants or clean its act up and join the rest of us in the 21st century. I think Bernie might move this date back and back and back until either everyone is dead, or it really is unacceptable to have a Grand Prix in the middle of a revolution.

Over at Lotus and Trulli has revealed that the reason he’s not won a GP yet this year, is because the power steering in his car is a bit rubbish ... No Jarno, you are a bit rubbish and should stick to wine making and leave the real driving to the professionals. Apparently the lack of power steering “hampers his ability to feel what the car is doing” it’s going forward really really slowly Jarno hahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha
Lotus F1 (the green ones) have also announced that they now have the rights to Caterham cars (the ones that look like a lotus) and will be building F1 Caterhams and selling them now. Maybe they can give one to Trulli and see if he’s any faster in that !

Whilst HRT are up for beating Virgin this time out, a feat i think might well be doable as Virgin continue try to learn the Russian for “can we have some money please, comrade” I really think we’ll be seeing the back of Virgin before we wave goodbye to the HRT underdogs. Things are not looking at all rosy for the Virgin boys who may have been a bit premature in taking the Russian Rubles.

Kubica has finally left hospital, but there’s still no word on a future return.

Finally Mickey Schumacher believes that “Mercedes will be fast in Turkey”. He won’t but Nico might.

Sunday, 17 April 2011

I want to have Hamiltons babies. i really do....

In the future if anyone ever tells you that Formula One is boring, you’ll be able to show them this race, the third race of 2011, in China and then laugh in their faces.

I though last week was a cracking race, but this week the only thing we had missing was a flying Russian. We didn’t know who was going to be on the Podium until the last lap, there was overtaking, Button went in to the wrong pit, Webber drove his heart out almost could have won and best of all Vettel couldn’t wave his finger around in a smug manner as the end of the race ... Just everything you could ever want from a Grand Prix.

I have seen some drives in the 30 years I’ve been watching F1, but that has to rank as one of the best i’ve ever seen. Hamilton, yes i am biased but i like my racers to be gutsy and bold and adventurous and willing to rag the thing on the limit to win. Not arse around looking after tires and picking up points, bin it or win it. That’s what i want and that’s what Hamilton delivered in China.
He realised after Sepang that having fresh rubber for the race is more important than being on pole, so whilst Vettel went out and claimed his 3rd pole of the season, Hamilton kept his cards close to his chest and let Button try to unseat the current qualifying king. Button ended up 2nd, but Hamilton in third had an extra set of fresh soft tires to go for glory.
Not so happy yet again was Webber who had an electrical issue in the car on Saturday morning and had to make a very hasty exit from the car in the garage, as smoke poured from the vents in the car. Come qualifying and he failed to make it out of Q1 ending up in a very troublesome 18th position normally reserved for the likes of Virgin and Lotus.
Talking of unhappy, the Ferraris continue to underperform in qualifying and the race. There were lots of very rich and powerful Ferrari types flying back and forth to China this week, with both Alonso and Massa saying they need more qualifying pace to stand any sort of chance.

So the race day dawns bright and sunny with plenty of big names peppered throughout the grid. The midfield had the likes of Schumacher, Petrov and Heidfeld in it and Webber was all the way at the back. All of this was the last thing on Hamilton’s mind however as there was a big problem with the car.

As the cars were being started in the garage to take to the grid before the race, Hamilton’s car had given a bit of a cough and a half hearted splutter then refused to start. Added to that there was a very strong and very worrying smell of petrol coming from somewhere inside the engine bay. With minuets to spare the crew started taking Hamilton's engine cover and air box off. With the seconds ticking down until the pit lane closed and Hamilton’s would have to start in the pits. The Boys from Woking repaired a loose fuel hose, rebuilt the engine airbox and got the cover back on. As fire extinguishers were made ready they tried the car again, it gave a little splutter then fired up with a strong hard note of readiness. The lads cleared the exit and had Hamilton out onto the track with 30 seconds to spare. This left them five minutes until the grid cleared and the cars started the parade lap, for them to get the engine cover off again, make sure everything was okay and reconnect the telemetry wiring harness, which had been missed in the rush to get Lewis out.

That is not how a racing driver likes to prepare for his afternoon.

There were a few nervous looks as the McLaren left behind the sister car and Vettel on pole, but away Hamilton went. When the red light went out for the start of the race, Vettel made a terrible start, Button and Hamilton got a flyer and beat Vettel to the first corner. At last we had a race on our hands.
The McLarens edged away from Vettel as Rosberg had a run at the Redbull and for the first stint the top three cars were covered by just 2 seconds. Button eked out a small led only for Hamilton and Vettel to chase him down, Rosberg pitted early as the others tried to make the soft tires last a few extra laps. But when the softs go off they really go. Button dived into the pits closely followed by Vettel leaving Hamilton to struggle on when he should have been in that lap. As Button and Vettel got new Pirelli rubber Hamilton fought to keep the car on the road as the Ferrari cruised up behind him and Massa claimed first spot before Hamilton could get round to the pit.

Crucially Vettel had gone for a two stop strategy so had to make his tires last longer for this and the next stint. The rest went for a 3 stop race meaning they had to cover Vettel by at least 15 seconds to give themselves enough time to get in and out and chase Vettel down. After the first round of stop Rosberg was leading, but couldn’t put any distance between him and the pack as the brakes started overheating. Further down the race and it was difficult to keep track of who was fighting who on what tires. Schumacher and Webber were fighting tooth and nail, Di Resta was doing a sterling job and Kobayshi was making a name for himself. Perez meanwhile was colliding with anything in that got in his way. Alguersuari lost a wheel after a bungled pit stop and was the only driver to retire all race. Hamilton, Button Rosberg and Vettel battled through the crowd using KERS and flappy wings to make pass after pass and driver the nuts of their cars. It was tremendous stuff with drivers trying to build gaps and stop other from getting too far ahead though the middle of the race.

As the Race came to the closing laps, Hamilton with his fresh set of soft tires was 5 seconds behind Vettel with Button, Massa, Rosberg and Webber behind them. Webber was having a storming run, from all the way back in 18th remember. And he too like Rosberg had fresh soft tires, Button had used softs and Massa had very old hard tires.
As it wound down Hamilton drove the arse of his car to catch and pass Vettel, whose old tires gave up the ghost with just three laps to go. Massa’s tires also gave up as first Rosberg then Webber went past him. But Webber wasn’t finished, taking the Mercedes of Rosberg and then like shooting fish in a barrel Button got jumped on the second to last lap.

So Hamilton gets his first race win of the season and it was a beautiful thing. To have a car almost miss the start, drive the nuts off it and win is brilliant. He didn’t settle for the points he was aggressive and kept his game head on rather than binning it and losing it all. If you missed the race, you have to watch it. After last week where it all went wrong this week it almost all went right. The McLaren is defiantly up there with the Redbull so we are going to have a championship this year.

Vettel, gets 2nd which could have been 3rd if his tires had gone off a lap earlier. He still drove a great race but the strategy let him down, on any other day he would have won, but Lady Luck has had enough of his finger and fancied and change. Is the Redbull the best car still ... maybe, but the McLaren isn’t too far behind.

Webber might very well have had the drive of the day to 3rd. He was a long way back and had to pass a lot of other cars on the track to get this result. If Vettel had been back there do you think he’d have done the business, no me neither. So that’s a great result for the grumpy Australian and this time i think he deserved it. He also got the fastest lap so that should cheer him up.

Button in 4th could well have won this, but the dice didn’t fall his way. Things started to go wrong when he stayed out an extra lap and then drove into Vettels pit slot when he did come in. Whilst his usual smooth style would normally have worked for him, this time Hamilton’s aggressive drive with new tires did the job. Let’s see just how matey those two can be if they’re both fighting for the silverware at the end of the year. Because i think they will be.

Rosberg, started 4th and finished 5th, in a race like this that’s no bad thing. He rolled the dice with an early pit stop but it didn’t work out for him as the faster cars came through. But he beat Schumacher and that’s always worth celebrating.

Massa Finally beats Alonso for the first time since Germany last year (I think, it’s late so I’m not going to check that) and on merit too. 6th place with a car that doesn’t like the tires is not to be sniffed at and it’s nice to see him stick it to Alonso.

Alonso raced his little heart out to 7th but is struggling to beat anyone at the moment.

Schumacher started 14th so to make it to 8th would normally be a good thing. But Webber started in 18th and made it to the podium. So it looks less impressive this time out hardy har har.

9th for Petrov, who didn’t try and clear the tower this week, well done and he beats Heidfeld again.

Finally Kobayashi gets 10th beating Di Resta in 11th.

Hurrah for HRT to finally finished a race, both of them were dead last, but you know what. They got there and Liuzzi was only 17 seconds behind the Virgin of Glock at the end. The tail and Charlie though was Karthikeyan who was only 1.17 second behind his team mate at the flag. Well done lads.

Once again i think Racing was the winner. The FIA didn’t need to wade in with any stupid penalties. The drivers scrapped for every point and no one cruised off into the distance, all that on a track that doesn’t always throw up the most interesting of races.

Is it the tires or the flappy rear wings? maybe, yes, no. I don’t care really. There’s over taking all the way through the field and a car can come from the back to get a podium if the driver doesn’t arse it up. You have to like that. If anyone thinks it’s too complicated go to the BBC driver tracker and watch Trulli all afternoon, it’s what you deserve. The rest of us will glory in a truly golden season of F1 because that’s what it is going to be.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

China, don't mention the disidents

So then, with barely enough time to draw breath and wash the champagne out of the race suits. The team have upped sticks and moved to the Shanghai International Circuit in China for the 3rd race of the year.

With such a tight turn around between races there is very little change the teams can make to the cars for this race. Obviously Renault will be flying a new car out for Petrov, but for the teams at the back of the grid such as HRT and Virgin, just getting a car to the race is an effort.

So there are unlikely to be any new aero bits or mechanical updates from any of the teams here, which in reality, means that the cars are going to be in the same spec as they were in Malaysia. That’s not to say the big boys won’t be sending the odd drawing office assistant out with a new rear wing element or exhaust manifold as hand luggage, but new floors and engine covers will have to wait for the return to Europe and the Turkish GP.



China can throw up the odd interesting race, especially if it rains. Last year Buttons smooth style on a slippery track helped him to his second win and the first McLaren 1-2 of the season. Vettel got the pole in the dry, but rain on race day left the Redbulls struggling.

Based on Malaysia which is a similar sort of circuit to China, the long fast straight and between sweeping corners is going to suit the Redbulls and McLarens. Button looks like he could be the one to take the challenge to Vettel on circuits where conserving tires is going to be at a premium, whilst Alonso and Hamilton will race the back sides off their cars.

I think the Redbull have the stronger long run pace, where the McLaren can’t stay as fast for as long on the harder tires. Meanwhile the Ferrari seems to have a problem with tire management full stop, they can’t seem to get the hard tires to work in qualifying which means they’re using up soft sets to make it into Q3. This leaves them with less option in the race and they’ve having to come back from further down the grid which in turn works the tires harder.

Renault look like their whizzy little start software has lost none of its zip with Heidfeld in the car. A blinding start last week from both of the Renaults set them up for two top ten finished until Petrov forgot where he was and though he was at Aintree not Sepang



Petrov takes the chair comfortable.


Can Renault do it again and get another podium? I don’t see why not, as long as they can get into Q3 they should be able to move up the order when the red lights go out.

Of course Renaults gain is Mercedes loss. They got both cars home in Malaysia, but they were an awfully long way back when you think how much money has been thrown at the team so far. There has been a lot of discussion of late over Schumacher and “What in the name of Stirling Mosses underpants is he doing coming back. The mans a fool !” Personally I didn’t think he’s a fool for coming back. Yeah he’s in a midfield dog of a car that doesn’t look like it’s going to go any faster any time soon. But he’s still out there giving it the beans and trying to drive other cars off the road. He’s lost none of that vim and vigour of old. Sure he’s missing the endless testing and win whatever the cost from the Ferrari days. And I can’t see an 8th world championship anytime soon. But He’s still got a smile when he gets out of the car, he doesn’t bad mouth the team or other drivers. So I guess he’s just doing it because it’s an enjoyable thing to do. Also it’s not like the old days when there was a 40% chance that someone would die during the race. It’s far far safer than it was 30 years ago when Lauda and Prost came back after a break.

As I said, I respect Schumacher for what he’s done, I still don’t like him as a person but I have no problem at all with him being there.



Williams still need to get their act together. What was a promising design and direction looks like it’s turned into an utter failure. That and the fact the firing of Hulkenburg for Malder what’s name is looking more and more like the stupid move everyone said it was.

Force India, two races two points from the rookie. Good stuff.

Torro Rosso, looked fast, then didn’t, rubbish drivers still.



Lotus are making noises about a new diffuser, when they should be talking about firing Trulli.

Virgin are being very quite

And Liuzzi is saying the HRT is still going to blow Virgin away at the next race.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Vettels smelly finger of win,

Now that was a cracking race.

There was overtaking, there was drama there was a flying Russian, in fact everything that’s good about Formula One was right there. We might have lost refuelling but we’ve got tires that keep the teams guessing and a flappy wing that can actually make a difference. Top stuff.

Well okay, there is the fact that Vettel got to wave his finger round once again. If you’re not a fan of Germans waving their finger at you in an overly smug way, then, well i suppose it wasn’t all that ace.
But apart from that bit, i think we can say F1 is in rude health at the moment with three different teams represented on the podium. Then to top it all off the FIA got to throw its weight around and hand out a few penalties at the end. I think Racing was the winner today.

So, yeah Vettel, wasn’t quite at the front as much as he was in Australia. But when it came to the important stuff on Saturday afternoon, he assumed his customary position at the front of the grid much to the annoyance of masers Hamilton, Button and especially Webber. All had had a shout at the pole but Vettel stepped up and calmly took it by a tenth of a second from Hamilton. Webber who had been the fastest Redbull up to the point wasn’t happy, but he was less bemused then Alonso who sat looking at the timing screens wondering just where all the winter testing speed had gone. He’d made it to 5th on the grid but was over a second back from the fast boys.

Importantly Heidfeld had got things right this time around and made it to 6th for the race, hoping to put the first race of the season behind him and show why he’d been picked to replace Kubica. With Petrov just behind in 8th I think we can assume that the Renault is in fact this year’s fourth car to beat. As Rosberg was behind him and Mickey was way back in 11th. Kobayashi rounded out the top 10 showing that when others drop the ball (Schumacher) he is more than capable of picking it up.

Amazingly the HRT made it into qualifying one and succeeded in beating the 107% rule! This meant they got to take part in their first race of 2011 hurrah for the plucky rubbish team at the back, who weren’t quite so rubbish this time.

So to Sunday and would you believe it, it looked like rain was coming for the race. There was much muttering and scratching of heads as teams looked at the radar to try to guess if and when it would come. As no one had tried out Pirellis wet weather tires up to the point there were a lot of teams who hoped it wasn’t going to rain, they could mostly be found at the front of the grid.
As it turned out there was a light smattering for the first 10 laps or so, but it never amounted to much and as the race went on the chance of rain dropped and the teams got on with trying to guess how long their tires would last.

Off the line Vettel had engaged first gear and driven off up the road closely followed by the two McLarens and amazingly two Renaults, who have a suspiciously good start system it would appear. Webber had tried to start in second gear and got swallowed up by the pack which was all using KERS unlike the Redbulls, who don’t need it according to Newey.

Once all the hoo harr was over Vettel lead from Heidfeld and Hamilton. The German started to slowly pull away from the Renault, whilst Hamilton tried to keep in touch with the Heidfeld and look after his tires at the same time. Not something he’s used to doing or even noted as being especially good at. And so it proved again as he had to come in to change his tires earlier than he hoped for and spent the rest of the race recovering from.

Vettel didn’t seem fazed by having a Heidfeld behind him and just did enough to stay comfortable ahead of the Renault. Once again, give Vettel a clear track and the best car on pole and, as long as the car stays together, he’ll deliver you a comfortable win. There was a bit where Button tried to chase him down towards the end of the race. But really he didn’t even have to break a sweat today, even when his KERS broke down half way, he was still comfortable faster than anyone challenging him. As long as he’s got blue flags waving for him he’s unstoppable. Mores the pity, that finger he waves around at the end is still annoying me. I’ll give him the credit he’s due but i still think the likes of Hamilton and Alonso are better races.

Button made it home in 2nd this time. This is a track he likes to race on and he did a good job of looking after his tires in the second half of the race. He wasn’t the fastest driver of the day, but he kept his head and didn’t rag the tires when he was behind other drivers. Rather than racing Hamilton he dropped back and waited for his team mate to pit, leaving the track free for him to try and take the fight to Vettel. By the end he was only three and bit seconds behind Vettel, due mostly to the finger waving and showing off from the Redbull driver. But the point is he didn’t arse around and was fast all weekend.

Heidfeld managed to pick up 3rd place after Hamilton and Alonso had a bit of argy bargy and burnt their tires out. Hamilton who spent most of the afternoon trying to stop different drivers from over taking him was unable to stop Heidfeld who used his flappy rear wing to good effect and showed better paid drivers how it should be done. He did well to hold Webber off at the end as his tires finally went off and he defended like a Trojan to get a well deserved podium spot. Kubica must have been crying silent tear of frustration as he watched his car pick up its second podium of the season.

Webber managed not to hit anyone for the second race in succession and collected 4th still well behind Vettel, he’s starting to wonder if this is going to be a repeat of last year all over again. He messed up the start and then lost places over the first lap. Then when Hamilton came out ahead of him on hard tires he couldn’t find a way past with his flappy wing. The Redbull is fast as long as it has a German driving it and it’s at the front. Put it in the midfield and it desperately needs a working KERS unit. Still Webber did all right, profiting mostly from other drivers not being kind to their tires. He got the fastest lap as the race drew to a close trying to chase Heidfeld down, but cooked his tires and had to settle for 4th in the end.

Massa picks up 5th and the “did he take part in the race” award, with an uneventful and uninspiring run.

6th for Alonso who had an outrageous time of it ! He got jumped by the Renaults off the line and tried hard to stay in contention all day. Battling his way back to the front he managed to look after his tires but got stuck behind Hamilton who was struggling on the hard tires. Struggling so much in fact that as he came out of turn 7 the Ferrari had to swerve out of his way and Alonso clipped the McLaren’s rear tire and lost most of his front wing as he went past. The pass lasted the length of the straight as he tried to brake for the next corner he discovered that half his wing had gone. There was nothing Hamilton could have done, he was just slower than the Ferrari and apparently Alonso should have been paying more attention as the FIA slapped him with a 20 second penalty after the race for avoidable contact. I think it’s a bit harsh that, Alonso lost out and had to pit for a new nose anyway, it was just a racing incident. As it was it makes any difference to the result but still, the FIA was being a bit heavy handed there.

7th for reasons that will become clear in a minute was Kobayashi with another strong race from the likable Japanese fellow. He put the moves on Schumacher numerous times which is always pleasant to see.

8th for Hamilton who had a race to forget really. He got jumped at the start by Heidfeld, couldn’t look after his tires when it mattered. Couldn’t get the hard tires to work for him and had to make an extra stop at the end losing 3rd spot. Then to top it all the FIA get the random ban hammer out, pinged him for making too many swervey moves in the braking zone and give him a 20 second penalty. What was an okay ish 7th ends up as a race not for the autobiography 8th. He battled hard with Alonso for a handful of laps until the Ferrari punted him up the arse ragging his tires and driving at the edge of reason and gets nothing for it. Still I’d rather watch Hamilton battle to 8th than Vettel cruise to yet another first.

Schumacher looked boring in 9th getting over taken by pretty much anyone who fancied a go. But he did beat Rosberg who had a terrible race to 12th. They’ll be working a lot of overtime to get this car sorted. Perhaps they can go for a third version.

The final points go to Di Resta who has now finished two races and got two points. Jolly well done to him. He blew Sutil away once again and looks to be settling in nicely. Whilst the Likes of Perez get fated for driving carefully and not destroying their tires, Di Resta picks up the points and gets on with being a rookie.

This weeks tail end Charlie is Glock, a late bid by Petrov to launch his car into orbit fails as though he had done enough to classified, he wasn’t actually moving as the flag fell. Glock was 2 laps behind Vettel and the Virgins don’t look like closing that gap any time soon. The HRT of Liuzzi tried very very hard to be last and was doing a sterling job of it, but with 10 laps to go, he somehow damaged the rear wing and that was that. I’m starting too really like the chaps at HRT who are absolutely overjoyed at completing 82% of a race. That sort of enthusiasm is what gets you to 96% of the race and then it’s only a short hop to the world championship.

You can read more of their positivity at




So that’s that then. Vettel looks like he’s on for the hatrick. Mclaren have a fast car and two fast drivers. Ferrari are close but Renault have a shot at the big time and are taking every chance they get.

Monday, 28 March 2011

What's that in the distance ... oh it's Vettel winning

Well, wasn’t that all jolly interesting and a little surprising.

It has got to be worrying for the rest of the teams though, Webber included. Vettel rolled up on Friday and never really looked back to check where everyone else was. The McLaren’s tried to spoil the party on Friday afternoon, but really the Redbull is about a gazillion miles faster with the cheeky German at the wheel. Especially considering they don’t have a KERS system fitted to that car. At the end of Qualifying it was almost a second faster than Hamilton, a country mile by anyone’s standard.

More surprising perhaps though, was the fact that the car behind Vettel was the McLaren of Hamilton. A team who two weeks ago, threw away the original design for the back of the car and started the whole thing again from scratch. To date they had not got the exhaust and gear box to go a race distance and here they were, the closest thing to a challenge.

They weren’t the only happy face in the pits on Saturday evening. Petrov had somehow kept it all together and got his car up 6th for the race. Whilst his much fancied bearded team mate had gone out in Q1. Kobayashi had also gone well sticking the Sauber into 9th just ahead of Buemi in the Torro Rosso in 10th.

Not so happy where the Ferrari and Mercedes teams. Who had both expected to be up the front giving Redbull a bit of a challenge. Alonso faffed around to a not too bad 5th but behind the McLaren’s and Redbulls, Massa over drove his car into 8th spinning as Q3 came to a close to annoy various drivers on hot laps. Rosberg did alright getting it to 7th but Schumacher who had given it all “the big I AM, I’m a winner me “, during the run up to the weekend couldn’t make out of Q2 and stopped in 11th. Hardy har har.

Also massively unhappy were the whole HRT squad, who spent most of Friday and Saturday trying to get their cars into some sort of working order. Liuzzi eventually made it out to do a few laps, but by the time Q3 ended HRT were so far behind Vettel you need something akin to the Hubble telescope to find them. They were informed by the FIA that they were no longer allowed to play with the big boys because they were just too damn slow.

Come the Race and as suspected Vettel just drove off into the distance. He didn’t look like being challenged all day, trading fastest laps with Hamilton for the first 10 laps or so. All this without a KERS system or any opportunity to use his silly flappy rear wing do darr. He just calmly and methodically blew everyone else away. When Button tried to hold him up to give Hamilton a sporting chance, Vettel just drove round the outside of him. By the end he was cruising around waving his finger around and being extremely smug and German. Winning the first race of the season always set a driver up for a good year and it’s going to be a brave soul to bet against Vettel making it two championship in a row.

Behind Vettel, Hamilton gave chase and to be fair kept him honest all day, but a broken under tray at two thirds distance put paid to his efforts. However if you’d told the plucky lad he’s be on the podium next to Vettel in Australia he’d have laughed at you .. to your face. That car was a complete mess two weeks ago and here it is up there best of the rest. If they can now develop the car as they usually do, it’ll be race winner.

In third Petrov, no I don’t know how he did it either. He didn’t hit anyone, he didn’t crash and when he got hassled by Webber he had the measure of him. All told a great result for the much derided Russian. Who I have to say was jolly nice in all his interviews afterwards and came across an likable chap. If he can do that again once Ferrari and Mercedes their act together, I shall be mightily impressed.

Alonso eventually managed to make it to 4th with a bit of luck and a tail wind. The Ferrari didn’t look all that sharp during the weekend and must have surprised the boys from Maranello, who all expected to be up there with Vettel. Alonso did alright but he was never where the action was and just sort of kept it on the grey stuff.
Webber just can’t get a break in Australia. Another 5th spot for him and he looked utterly bemused by that. His team mate was all happy smiles and “check me I’m ace me” whist the dour Ozzy just couldn’t work out why he was so far back. On the bright side he didn’t hit any one this time.

Button finally made it to 6th after spending most of the race looking at the back of Massa dog slow Ferrari. He tried lap after lap to use his flappy rear wing to get a run on the Ferrari into turn 1 but Massa was having none of it and kept pulling just far enough ahead to thwart the Brit. Finally Button made a desperate lunge up the inside of the hairpin and ran out of road. Taking to the escape road he emerged ahead then told all and sundry that he was miles ahead of Massa and it was all find and dandy. The FIA raised it McLaren eyebrow up another notch and hauled Button in for a drive through penalty. So Button did a good job to get back to 6th really and it shows that the McLaren is a car with some solid speed.

Mass made it to 7th eventually and looked rubbish all weekend. Spins in practice and qualifying, He never looked fast and must surly be counting the days till he gets his marching orders. Most defiantly a Number two driver now, he’s had his shot at the title and I doubt he’ll ever get another. Welcome to team Alonso !

Now 8th should be the Sauber of Perez who did a cracking job one stopping his way into the top ten. Massa had to make 3 stops to claw his way into the points. Whilst the young Mexican kept his nose clean and the car in one piece to get a great result. That is until the FIA checked the leading edge of the rear wing and found it had a square profile and not a round profile. A tiny tiny thing that had passed scrutinering with no trouble, got pinged in post race. Perez and Kobyashi got disqualified and that was the end of their champagne party.

In his place Buemi didn’t really do much to get 8th

Sutil got 9th as Koby got fired and this weeks “did he take part ithe race award” I missed him entirely and thankfully he missed the walls.

Finally a very lucky 10th for Di Resta. Who appears to have been told to let his team mate go past him. Welcome to big school lad. Up to that point he had been faster than Sutil all weekend, but ran out of puff as the race went on. Still it’s a good debut and let’s hope there’s more to come from him.

So all in all it was okay. I don’t think the flappy rear wing was much cope. There were a few occasions where you could see it made a difference to the driver overtaking. But mostly the drivers in the top 8 were all much of a muchness and couldn’t get much benefit from it. We’ll if it make a difference in Malaysia with a longer straight.


So that’s race one, it looks like it’s going to be Vettel benefit year, but McLaren might just be able to keep him honest.

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Australia - After a false start, here we go.







G’day mate throw another shrimp on the flamin’ barby and settle down for the 2011 Melbourne Grand Prix.

Yes it’s that time of year once again, the lambs are gallivanting around the fields, the days are getting longer and Bernie is talking bollocks once again.

After the down trodden and repressed masses cried enough is enough and the Bahrain Grand Prix is just too awful to have to sit though again, we’ve skipped the first race of 2011 and headed straight for where it should have started all along.

It’s been a long and grueling winter series for all of the teams. The front runners have been playing a cagey game of Chinese whispers giving nothing away to their rivals, whilst the midfield have thrown the odd cat amongst the pigeons with hot laps and a lot of bare chest posturing. Round the back of the bike sheds the new boys from last year have survived the winter and returned, HRT to much surprise from everyone have even turned up with what looks suspiciously like a new car amazingly.

Redbull and Ferrari spent most of the winter trying very hard not to look like they were too fast. There was much muttering about sandbagging and “not really trying hard enough”. Vettel popped the odd fast lap, with an evolution of last year’s car. Whilst down pit row and Alonso would respond in kind then try not to look too fast again.
Webber and Massa played supporting roles in this task. Then claimed that “No we’re not number two drivers we’re real men with every chance of winning ... no really we are... Look it’s written in my contrast ... etc” of course fooling no one but themselves.
Redbull and Ferrari look like the teams to beat this year. Vettel has now got that self belief winning the world championship gives you whilst Webber has that “I was robbed guv’ner” hunger. It’s supposed to be all sweetness and light in the Redbull pit, but i doubt Webber will get his chance of the title anymore than he really had last year. Possession is after nine tenth of the law after all.
Massa will do well not to get fired this year. He had a really bad year last year, yeah he’d come back from almost being killed, but he never looked like his heart was in it. Alonso has that ruthless “this is MY team now sunbeam” ability to mold the team around him. If he can stop Ferrari from being old 1970’s comedy Ferrari and make them lean mean Ross brawn Ferrari he, and they be unstoppable.

The other Grandee team McLaren had an ... interesting winter. It would appear that they were trying to pull a fast one with a trick exhaust system that blew the exhaust gas around the gearbox and through the diffuser, thus creating quite by chance you understand ... a blown diffuser. The FIA saw threw this ruse and having already banned the material it was made from years ago, told McLaren to sort it out. They tried using a different material, the FIA raised its eye brow and McLaren tried again, but the third material couldn’t stand the heat and promptly melted.
So the boys from Woking have been struggling to get any testing done and have now apparently gone off the idea of a blown gearbox and diffuser. They claim to have redesigned the whole thing and found more than a second per lap, which is good.... except that they were about two seconds behind Ferrari and Redbull to begin with. Hamilton and Jensen have both been making “it’s not really as bad as it looks” noises, but there are a lot of long faces in Woking at the moment.

Joining the top table this year looks to be Mercedes, who have been showing off to anyone that will give them the time of day by building not one but two new cars for the season. Apparently Mickey didn’t like the first car, so they built him a new one. Being a seven times world champions does mean something after all. Nico who had a pretty good year last year putting the moves on said seven time cheating German champion all year, has gone well in testing with a string of hot laps to his name . Mickey has been going well in testing once he got the B spec car, so if Mickey and Nico are on form they could well be up there this time.

Now for the purposes of clarity and sanity, i shall be referring to what was Renault and is now Lotus Renault GP, as Renault, or the black ones. Whilst the plucky underdogs that feel Trulli is actually a good driver unbelievably, that were Team lotus ... as Lotus, or the green ones.
Whatever happens in the court and whoever comes out with a bit of paper saying they can ride rough shod over decent British engineering history, the French will be Renault (the Black ones) and the Malaysians will be Lotus (the green ones).

Renault have managed to lose the use of Kubica who had a particularly nasty rallying accident (Thankfully he survived to whinge another day) but did gain the bearded wonder Nick Heidfeld. Who got into the car and did a good job of surprising all and sundry by being pretty fast and way better than Petrov, who is still rubbish. Renault now has a trick exhaust that comes out under the side pods of the car and blows the exhaust gases under the car. They’ve (well Nick actually) have popped in a few fastest laps over the winter, so look set to continue their best of the rest performance ... which is what they’ve always been, don’t kid yourself, Kubica was never the second coming. Petrov might not have such a bad year this year, but don’t bet on it.

That’s it for the possible winners this year

The Midfield consists of Force India, Williams and Sauber. They’re going to be scrapping it out to be the best of the rest and pick up the points when the Grandees drop the ball.
Force India have fired Liuzzi, because he was quite frankly crap. In his place comes Paul Di Resta who comes from a pretty impressive Family of Scottish motor racing talent (the current Indy Car Champion Dario Francitti is his cousin i think) anyway, He’s the current DTM world champion and comes with a lot of backing from Mercedes. Is he any good you ask? I don’t know. He’s done the usual Formula Renault, GP2 etc and is as i say the current DTM champion. So he has the pedigree to be here. During the testing season he was always up the sharp end with the big boys, nothing spectacular but he certainly held his own. It’s (yet again) another make or break year for Force India, Sutil has to deliver something and Di Resta needs to be consistently in the points or the money is going to start looking else ware.

Williams have sold half the company to the public (not usually a good idea) they fired their hot new talent Hulkenburg and brought in a paid driver, Pastor Maldonaldo. Who has oodles of South American money and a smattering of talent. He’s no Trulli, but he’s no Hamilton either. I think this is a sad thing because i have lot of respect for Frank and the boys at Didcot. They used to be contenders, they should be up there with the like of McLaren and Ferrari but ever since BMW and arguably Honda left them all those years ago, they’ve been shit.
To turn all this shitness around this year they have built a car with no backside. The gear box is about the size of a walnut, this apparently is to allow the air a clear flow around the engine and over the rear diffuser to increase down force without the drag, or something. I’m not too sure to be honest. Anyways, Pastor managed to total one of the new cars during testing unsurprisingly, whilst the oldest man in F1 history, Barrichello continued to bang in solid times and the odd fastest lap. Will they win a race, not a chance in hell, will they be top 10 finishers almost certainly.

Sauber have fired the totally forgettable thingy and have a new forgettable driver Sergio Mendez. Who i have never heard of and don’t expect to trouble the top 10, he could be a safe pair of hands for the last place driver though. Krazy Koby is back, and Sauber have a little bit more money this year. They had a few Banzai laps in testing, but i suspect this is just to get more sponsorship money. Another solid year with the odd, “how the hell did they get up there” result beckons.

The red wine is almost gone, so let’s motor though the rest of the field.

Torro Rosso have got a new car that doesn’t say “Redbull” under the cover this year, they still have Buemi and Alguersuari however. Place your bets on which one of those it the first driver to be fired this year.

Lotus, who were the most professional of the new boys last year continue to look the most professional this year. They’ve had more time to knock up a car on their shoe string budget and it has a few more refinement than last year’s car. It looks pretty, and was only about two or three seconds off the midfield boys during testing. It looks like another safe and solid year for the green ones, who are my favorite of the tail end chaps. Trulli still hasn’t got his marching orders so he’ll be making a nuisance of himself again, whilst Heikki gets another shot at impressing the big boys.

Virgin have been sold to some Russian Mafia money laundering outfit and will be called Marussia (which is Russian for “I’ll take it in used tenners comrade”) Virgin. Nick Wurth who now runs Virgin is on a hiding to nothing, as i expect the Russians to leave before the he gets any point. Whilst the rest of the grid has tried to make it look they’ve not copied the Redbull wholesale, Virgin have built a car that looks nothing like the fastest and most successful car last year. Glock keeps his seat and D’ambrosia (i have no idea where they get these silly names driver from ) is in for whatisname.

Finally HRT make it to the start of year two with no sponsorship and the hapless Liuzzi has signed on with Narain Karthikeyan. If the car holds together they might........ Who am i kidding they’ll be lucky to make it as far as qualifying.

So it’s all set for an exciting Formula 1 season. The usual suspects are at the front mostly and the usual rabble is in the middle.
The big unknown is the tires. No one has managed to put together a consistent long run on the Pirelli rubber. The soft tires are 5 seconds a lap faster than the hard but last as long as an HRT in qualifying trim. Whilst 20 laps seems to be about the most the hard option will do before they give up the ghost. The word on the street it we could be looking and four stop races. Six stops at places like Canada could be on the cards.
This means that if a midfield Johnny takes a punt on the fast but fragile soft strategy he could be in with a shout of a top ten spot. I’m looking forward to those outside the top 10 diving into the pits with 5 laps to go to try and grab a point at the end of the race.
I’ll talk about KERS and the silly floppy rear wings as the season goes on, for now we’ll see how all that pans out in Australia before i slate it completely.

I think it’s going to be straight fight between Vettel and Alonso this year. Unless McLaren really have pulled the rabbit out of the hat, they’re on the back foot already. Ferrari and Redbull have solid fast cars to work with and two of the fastest drivers in the game. If Vettel can learn to overtake and he might just be unstoppable, if not Alonso is going to steamroller title number three.

Practice starts at 1.30 on Friday morning, live on the BBC red button do darr.
Qualifying is at 6am on Saturday.
The race is live at 7am on the BBC and is also in glorious eyeball massaging HD don’t forget

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Bahrain says no.

Well that's a bit of a turn up for the books. Bernie is still under the impression that a race will happen in the gulf state this year, but I have my doubts.

Anyway It's a dull rubbish track and I for one will not be missing it.

Meanwhile. Pirrelli continue to struggle to make their tires last more than 10 laps. Should make things interesting shouldn't it !

Friday, 28 January 2011

Is it 2011 already ....

Coming soon.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day and a new year.

And Bernie is feeling good.


"Leave it 'art son, no' what i mean"

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Vettel takes it, as Webber and Alonso cock it all up.

So there we go then. It all ends much as it started, with a dull race that promised so much.



It should have been fantastic. All five of this year’s title contenders where up the sharp end of the grid after qualifying three. Vettel putting in an electric performance to take the pole by the knats proverbial testical from Hamilton. Webber choked on the big occasion as he has done on so many occasions over the years and ended up behind Button AND Alonso. How could he win the championship from there?



When it came to the race we’d all forgotten that last year’s race was a horrible dull affair with cars in a long procession and precious little spectacle to be seen. And so it proved again this year. Off the line and Button got the drop on Alonso to take third whilst Webber despite previous history managed to avoid hitting anyone or anything to sit behind Alonso, something he was destined to do for a very long time.



Meanwhile, Rosberg made a move on Schumacher and so surprised the disappointing German seven times world Champion that he spun in the middle of the chicane and then Liuzzi with nowhere to go attempted to mount the stricken Mercedes in a very forceful way. The result was a lengthy pace car period whilst the work experience marshals watched each other dither around trying to get Liuzzi's car off the top of Schumacher’s car. There was a bit of half hearted pulling of pieces and comedy attempts to clean up with the only two brooms in Abu Dhabi, before racing was allowed to continue.



I say racing but what we actually got was almost an hour and a half of dull tedious chess. Webbers had cooked his tires behind Alonso so had to make a very early stop for new boots. Which prompted Ferrari to take their eyes off the main challenge of Vettel and follow Webber into the pits. After the usual slick pit work, Alonso dived out in the exhaust smoke of Petrov. Normally a reliable cove to crash before half distance but this time amazingly that, after also changing his tires early, was driving a fine race. Thus had no need what-so-ever to get out of Alonso’s way.



And that, as they say, was that. Hamilton and button tried to take the race to Vettel, but he was having none of it and pretty much cruised to the win. Leapfrogging both Webber and Alonso in the table and taking his first World F1 Drivers Championship. Redbull does indeed, it would appear, give you wings. (If you’re German and had been brought up on the stuff since birth).



An early pit stop was how it all ended. But we did get to see a Driver take the chequered flag and take the main prize for a change. It’s kind of nice when that happens. Rather than finishing in the middle of the pack and winning by default as so often happens.

So Vettels wins in Abu Dhabi. The thorny question of “does Vettel deserve the drivers’ championship” I’ll have to ponder for a few months. Was he the best driver of the year? No not really for me, he crashed too often in unforced situations and I still maintain that he can only win when he’s at the front of the field. Luckily for him the Redbull has been the class of the field and given him ten poles this year. Even Webber with five poles couldn’t fail to be a championship contender. So to win from yet another pole is kind of what Vettel has done all year. If he didn’t crash or hit someone, he won. This is pretty much what you have to do.



Lewis gets a deserved 2nd place with a car that was at best 5th best behind the Redbulls and Ferrari’s. He never gave up and has raced when all looked lost for him. Great wins in Spa, and Canada and a gifted win Turkey kept him up there and if he hadn’t got all Leary in Monza he would have had a better shot coming into Abu Dhabi. But this is only his 4th year in F1 and the 3rd time he’s been a title contender. The next few years are going to be fantastic as Vettel and Hamilton fight it out to be the best there is.



3rd for Button who’s retained his credibility with great wins in Australia and China when the changeable conditions played into his hands, he didn’t seem able to take the fight to the others with poor qualifying performances all year. But he didn’t disgrace himself with some storming runs to pick up points when all looked lost. Considering that the Media was planning the memorial service when Hamilton buried him, he’s done a good job to be nobody’s number two this year.



Rosberg grabs 4th with yet another good solid drive, much the same as he’s been doing all year. He showed Schumacher how to do it all year and hasn’t been phased by the ex world champions attempts at mind games. Jolly well done to him, Redbull would do well to grab him when Webber throws his final hissy fit and storms off.



Kubica in 5th had “problems” in qualifying and didn’t make it to Q3. The problem being he’s rubbish. The last of my top division drivers, okay he’s all right and in a better car would probably get podiums and stuff, but he’s like Boutsen all those years ago, fine now and again but he’s no world champion. If Massa flounces off I think he’d be mad to hide in Alonso’s shadow at Ferrari, but he may feel he has more of a chance to prove himself over there.



6th for Petrov who doesn’t hit anything for a change and made Alonso look very ordinary all evening. I don’t think he’ll be back next year because he’s not really achieved much this year. He’s got a bit of Russian money behind him, but not enough for a top team to bother with. He may well end up in a Force India or one of the tail end Charlies, but his Renault days are numbered I suspect.



7th for Alonso, oh what could have been, someone at Ferrari HQ is going to get the kicking of their life on Monday morning. They had to cover what Webber was up to, if he got ahead of Alonso they would lose the title and if Vettel won with Alonso lower the 4th he’d lose the title. Webber was the closest challenger so it made sense on paper to cover what Webber did to avoid that scenario and hope there was enough time to get back to 4th. Except they missed the fact that Petrov and Rosberg had already changed their tires and were not inclined to get out of the Ferraris way. Queue much forehead slapping as they realised Alonso was going to be stuck in the midfield.

I didn’t mind Alonso winning it all to be honest. I like Ferrari and had no problem with the team orders thing in Germany. All the other teams do it to a greater or lesser extent, it’s just Ferrari aren’t too sneaky about it. It’s a team game, it’s always been a team game and the tiny fine Ferrari got from the FIA is an admittance that it was a stupid rule anyway. In the end it didn’t matter, something Massa will no doubt point out in his resignation letter. Redbull didn’t seem to feel the need for blatant team orders and they had two drivers with a shout. Rather than one strong shout and a rather pissed off second driver. Oh wait hang on!



8th for Webber who hasn’t delivered since Hungary. Ultimately he hasn’t been the best all season and only took the points when Vettel got it wrong. He seemed to complain endlessly all season that he wasn’t being given the same equipment or a fair crack of the whip, whilst Vettel just kept quiet and got on with it. The remark in Silverstone about being a number two driver goes against the evidence I saw. The team has been pretty fair all season to both drivers. Yet Webber has felt the need to tell all and sundry that he’s having to do it all with a comedy eye patch, an arm tied behind his back with no food and only 5 cylinders and it’s all soooo unfair boo hoo. Truth is he made it difficult for himself and felt the need to blame others as he didn’t deliver. I’m sure he’s a really nice bloke, but he lost this all himself.



9th for Alguersuari, in a Torro Rosso of all things!



Finally 10th for Massa. The German win that was stolen from him didn’t matter in the end. Which isn’t going to make him feel any better is it? It’s been a long and difficult season for the likable Brazilian, but the fire wasn’t in the eyes after Germany, maybe even from China when Alonso carved him up into the pits. He must have seen the writing on the wall that Alonso had arrived and the team was no longer his. Which he must have suspected would happen all along. I don’t think he’ll stay for much longer, he must know that Alonso would never play second fiddle to a team mate, look how that turned out at McLaren. Alonso now owns Ferrari and that means Massa either goes back to being understudy as he was to Schumacher and Kimi or move on to ... I don’t know, Renault perhaps.



So that’s the season then.

Vettel

Alonso

Webber

Hamilton

Button



These 5 have fought hard in what has been a tremendous season. The Redbulls have without doubt been the best car all year, I still question its legality, but we’ll never know what they were doing. Maybe it was all within the rules and in a few years I doubt any one will remember wobberly floors and suspicious ride heights. The racing has been at times exceptional and at others extremely dull. But you’ve not know from race to the next just who was going to take the ultimate prize. The FIA has managed to keep its oar out of things with the Drivers Steward being a great success and no stupid penalties getting in the way of the racing.

Next year see the return of KERS and Pirelli as the sole tire supplier after a 20 year absence. New for 2011 will be adjustable rear wings, although how they’re going to work has yet to be finalized.



But for now we can reflect on the youngest world F1 Champions and a new name on the Constructors cup. Redbull have finally arrived and put their mark on the sport we all love so much.

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Yas Marine ... as last

Right I have an open bottle of red wine to help ... let’s go

It’s been a long hard road to reach the Yas marine in Abu Dhabi, 18 races spanning the globe from Europe, to America the Far East and now the Middle East to crown the 2010 Formula One world champion. There are three drivers in with a chance to take the spoils and lift the ultimate Cup in motorsport, Alonso, Webber and Vettel could take the title.

Alonso has had a blinding second half of the season out scoring all and sundry. But Ferrari got nailed for calling team orders in Germany before it was really acceptable. The FIA fined them and then ignored the howls of self-righteous indignation from the media. The other teams mostly shrugged and said, “We all do it ... just not so obviously” and got on with it. Redbull kept mentioning it now and again, generally when their boys weren’t leading the championship.

I don’t mind Alonso winning. When he’s good he’s a great driver to watch and you have to admire his ability to drive a team forward and make them work for him. But like Schumacher before him, his ruthlessness makes it hard to like the man.

Redbull have tried very very hard indeed to lose the Championship. But managed to sneak the constructors in Brazil last week, and might just take the drivers in Abu Dhabi. Depending on where Alonso is, Webber can ... or ... should take the title here. He has the fastest car and should be able to cruise it. But Vettel might yet throw a spanner into the works. If he’s leading and is required to move over to allow Webber to win and get enough points, do you think he would? The team say’s it’s up to the drivers to do the right thing. But Webber and Vettel dislike each other with a passion apparently. There’s no happy McLaren mateyness between drivers in this garage. After Webber basically claimed they all hate him at Redbull last week, I suspect they all now hate him. He’s been there since day one so to turn round and say they don’t want him was a bit disingenuous I though.

The thing with Redbull is you feel they should have won this month’s ago, yet have somehow missed every opportunity. Their drivers have hit people, the cars have had problems, engines have let them down but no more than Alonso’s Ferrari has.
Would I like to See Webber as the Champion? No not really, he’s done far too much whinging for my liking. He driven into other drivers and been overly aggressive when it wasn’t needed. Oh yeah he’s held his hands up when he was wrong, but then he’s whined that the team doesn’t like him and it’s all so unfair. Blah blah blah.

Vettel I don’t think is all that either. He ONLY seems to win when he’s on the front row of the grid. He’s not had a storming midfield run to claim a podium in a car that should on paper be able to cream the opposition. In Hamilton or Alonso’s hands that car would have been champion after Spa. And he waves his finger around when he wins a race. It’s only a small think and its ridicules to get annoyed by a German waving his finger around. But it get’s right on my tits.

There is also the sneaking suspicion that the Redbull car isn’t playing by the rules. Nothing has been proved, but after the floors and front wings of the cars started getting testing in Monza, Ferrari started winning more races. It might all be down to the blown diffuser and the rear end suspension, but at times they’ve been over a second faster than anyone else. That’s a country mile by today’s standards.

So Ferrari might have been really obvious about their “Cheating”, Redbull have been very clever about theirs.

Hamilton was undone by a single corner in Monza. If he’d not dived under Massa into the first chicane on the first lap, then he might be coming with a better chance of the win here. As it is, he’s going to need Webber to driver into Vettel (not unreasonable this year) and Alonso’s last engine to go bang before the final flag of the year. Which is not too farfetched, well okay it is. But it would make for a fantastic end to the season.

I’d love Hamilton to win the championship. I think he’s the only driver that just got on with it this year. Yeah he’s made mistakes, but he’s tried to win. He’s tried to overtake and make a race of it, but he’s also come up short and cocked it up. But just for telling Charlie in Korea that the track was fine and they should all be on inters as the rest of the Nancy drivers complained it was too scary, was the highlight of the year so far for me. He said in the BBC interview before the race in Brazil that motorsport should be dangerous, he is right. Motorsport is about speed and danger. Not parking it up when the track get’s a bit damp. I doubt he’ll win here. But I’d love it if he did.

Button hasn’t done too badly this year. A few good wins and safe comfortable year picking up points and not arsing around hasn’t set the world on fire. But he’s done the job McLaren wanted him to do. They needed a driver who could collect the points whilst their star driver went for the glory. Kovalinium couldn’t do that last year for them, and Button might just have sneaked the title if things had gone his way.
Considering almost everyone said he was going to get buried by Lewis, I think he’s come out of the year with his head held high and credibility intact. He’s still a pretty nice bloke and the fact both Lewis and Jenson are talking to each other still is probably down to Jenson more than Lewis. The team have harmony and two fast drivers. It’s just unfortunate that Lady Luck didn’t like their brand of Champagne.
So there you go.

That’ll be you top five, not necessarily in that order though.

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Max says ......


Naaaah i don't want no jive ass FIA job brah. It be dope.

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Brazil, falling down but still fun.

Here we go then, it’s make or break time for those wanting to take part in the Abu Dhabi race for the chase for the cup for the thing.

Brazil, it’s old, it’s tired and you’ll get mugged on the way to the circuit. But it has a raw passion this place, fuelled by fans every bit as vocal as the Tifosi and as informed as the British. Except they’re all whacked up on home brew and the samba beat. It’s doesn’t stop them having a good time and cheering anything that’s loud, fast and driven with some passion though, not even the predicted rain is going to put a dampener on this party.

Brazil is all about the big long run up the hill and the start/finish straight, Its foot flat to the floor from Juncao to the Senna S.

Alonso is in the driving seat and this weekend it’s going to be all about how close to The Spaniard you can get for the final race. More than 25 points adrift after Brazil and its goodnight sweetheart welcome to the tail gunner seat.
Now Alonso lucked into the win in Korean, Vettels Redbull had the measure of the Ferrari driver and had the Redbull not spewed bits of Renault engine all down the road, would have won easily. Alonso has used all of his engines up for the year, so can’t afford to blow his last one up. If he does he’ll get a grid penalty for Abu Dhabi and that’ll make things harder.
So he doesn’t need to win here, but he can’t afford to be much lower than 4th or 5th. A Third would be great and a win fantastic. He has an 11 point lead over Webber which isn’t comfortable, but it does give him breathing space, as long as Webber doesn’t beat him with wins. I think Ferrari will aim for 3rd and not stress the engine too hard. They have to hope that Massa will be on form to play tail gunner for Alonso.

Webber had a hard time of it in Korea with a school boy error into the wall in the rain. He needs to be ahead of Alonso to take the championship lead back. Something he should be able to do with his brand new engine. Realistically it’s a straight fight between these two now, but nerves, mechanical reliability and Lady Luck might yet decide this.

Hamilton is now 21 points behind Alonso and will need both the Ferrari and Redbull drivers to cock it up to stand a chance. He’s got nothing to lose so may as well just go for it and when they’re the odd Hamilton always goes for it. The hill and the first sector will suit the McLaren but the rest of the lap will see the Redbulls pull back any advantage. A win is unlikely but if it’s raining then you never know, personably I’d like to see him get a win so that the final race is more exciting.

Vettel, who is now 25 points behind Alonso, needs to win and all the other to hit trouble to stand a chance, that’s unlikely. What’s more likely is that Vettel is going to be leading and Webber will be behind him with Alonso in 3rd. THEN the question is going to be “will Vettel let Webber past to guarantee at least one championship for Redbull” place you bet.

Finally Button who is 42 points behind Alonso and whilst not mathematically out of it should not be making any plans for a big home coming bash any time soon. Oh yes he could still win the title, but he’ll need Lady luck to have an epiphany and come skipping down the road for that to happen.

Massa and Kubica are the drivers that could spoil the party here. Massa has always gone well here and despite a lack lustre season I see no reason why he shouldn’t be in the top five here. He needs to be ahead of Webber and Vettel to help Alonso out, and I suspect keep his job at Ferrari next year. Now would not be a good time to grow and pair and take the win ahead of Alonso.
Some people of my acquaintance are under the mistaken belief that Kubica is a better driver than Button ! But they are idiots and should be jeered whenever they turn up for work. If Jimmy McWrong of the Wrong people suddenly hit on the idea to use his head to nail the picture to the wrong wall, he would still be in a whole world of more right than to suggest that Kubica is better than Button.
“Oh, but it is the Reanult that has let him down with its mechanical frailty” they wail, bollocks he’s crap, get over yourselves.

Rosberg will beat him this time out. As long as Webber doesn’t hit the German again.

Mickey always used to like this place, if he can be arsed.

So really, Alonso could do with being ahead of Webber, but his engine is a bit suspect. Hamilton needs to win ahead of button and the other to not finish. Vettel and Button need a miracle. Rain could provide that. It’ll depend on where Lady Luck will be hiding from the downpour.

Monday, 1 November 2010

Bernie bigging up the slow boys

Bernie in "mindless bollocks yet again" shocker

In an astonishing outburst, F1 commercial rights-holder Bernie Ecclestone has lambasted 2010 newcomers Lotus, Virgin and Hispania (HRT) as 'cripples' and 'an embarrassment' – and accused them of doing 'nothing' for the sport.

The British billionaire's remarks are even more extraordinary given that he played a leading role in trying to attract new entrants onto the grand prix grid this season by way of financial incentives. However, almost eight months on and the best of them – Lotus – is still languishing around 1.5 seconds adrift of its closest rival and some 3.5 seconds shy of the outright benchmark. HRT is regularly more than five seconds off the pace, and none of the three have come even close to scoring points.

Whilst acknowledging that with Red Bull gearboxes and hydraulic systems and a widely-anticipated engine-supply deal with Renault, the ambitious, Anglo/Malaysian Lotus effort deserves to remain in the top flight for a second consecutive campaign, Ecclestone criticises Sir Richard Branson for not investing more money into Virgin – and makes no mention at all of Hispania.

“They do nothing for us,” the recently-turned 80-year-old told the Financial Times. “They are an embarrassment. We need to get rid of a few of those cripples. Richard should put some money in there (Virgin), shouldn't he? He could do what (Red Bull magnate Dietrich Mateschitz) has done and put some money in.”

Ever the canny businessman himself, Ecclestone went on to confess that he would like to see one of Red Bull Racing pairing Mark Webber or Sebastian Vettel clinch the drivers' crown this season, as there would then be five world champions in the field in 2011 – a factor that could only serve to boost F1's popularity.

Adding that there is 'no truth' in rumours that he is lining up disgraced former Renault F1 managing director and 'Singapore-gate' protagonist Flavio Briatore as his successor on the commercial front – with speculation that GP2 Series director Bruno Michel and Prodrive chairman David Richards are similarly in the running to eventually assume the helm – he explained that he has no intention to retire despite his advancing years, vowing to stay 'as long as I can deliver'.

“Somebody will emerge when I'm not there,” he mused. “I think two or three people may come out of the woodwork, but I don't think it could be carried on in the same way as it has.”

Finally, having attempted to float F1 on the stock market back in 1997 – only to be blocked by a number of teams' refusal to sign a long-term contract in the absence of a higher percentage of the sport's income, controlled by his Formula One Management (FOM) company – and again in 2000, when he was scuppered by an anti-trust investigation that had been launched by the European Commission the previous year, Ecclestone insisted he would never try to do so again.

“There's no way I would sit in front of a load of share-holders,” he urged. “It wouldn't float under me.”

F1's parent company Delta Topco is owned 5.3 per cent by Ecclestone, and 63.4 per cent by private equity investor CVC Capital Partners, who likewise are understood to be uninterested in selling a business that is worth in the region of £3.8-£4.4 billion.


It's not often that I'll agree with Bernie. But he is right about Virgin and Bransons actual interest in the racing. He was all over the paddock last year in his linen suits having a laugh with a cheeky smile and a ready bottle of champers.
This year I'm struggling to recall his gurning mug on the TV biging up his brand investment.

But what the heck,I've enjoyed the new young bloods at the back of the grid. It's given Trulli something to do without getting in everyone's way. Mr Fernandes has proved to be a jolly nice bloke and has tried very hard to be professional and not cock around too much with the Lotus name.

HRT, well yes, all rather embarrassing I'll admit. But you have to admire their pluck and it looks like they'll make the end of the season. A considerable achievement when you consider that the car is the very same car that started the season and is only held together with gaffer tape and a pair of Colin Kolles braces he left in the factory one night.

10 years ago Redbull were a rather rubbish Jaguar racing. Today they look set to win at least the constructors championship. Given time even the most stupid of ideas can bear fruit.

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Break out the storm laterns, there are cars out there somewhere

Lady luck can have a very strange sense of humour at times. She can take a liking to a driver and shower him with poles, fastest laps and wins galore. Fantastic wins in a claustrophobic Monaco and the windswept fields of Silverstone for Webber, she can rewards the brave balls out drivers of Canada and a soggy Spa for Hamilton. Even Button has impressed her enough to sneak wins in Australia and China.
But what ever Vettel does he just can seem to impress this fickle lady with a liking for Champagne. In fact the whole Redbull team should have had both championship sewn up weeks ago, they are so much faster than anyone else yet the have had bad luck after bad run. Webber has hit most of the field and Vettel has had pretty much every part of his car fail at some point this year. Time is fast running out and Lady Luck is starting to look quite minx in Ferrari Scarlet.

I have to say it was a better race than i was expecting. The track looked okay, if a little ugly and boring. I imagine for a normal dry race you wouldn’t get much in the way of over taking, but throw in the rain and a track that was only laid 11 days again and you get an exciting race. Hurrah! I always though Silverstone was in the middle of a windswept nowhere. But the Koreans have found the only ugly bit of a windswept coastline next to a shipyard and some interesting looking mountains in the world. If they get the money the they’ll build a city and a marine around the track, for now though it looks like the marsh in the middle of nowhere with a half build track on top of it. Spactator wise, they all turned up latre and left early. The stands had punters but there were still big empty gaps. Especially the darker it got.

Vettel made pole look easy on Saturday and after almost 2 hours of sitting around behind the safety car start and being bored on Sunday afternoon he disappeared off into the mist and gloom of the race. Hamilton who had looked pretty fast all weekend (behind the Redbulls) spent most of his time behind the safety car start complaining that it was fine to drive and they should all be on interes anyway. Once they were released to race, he got passed by Rosberg in the Merc that had had a few tweaks on the grid whilst they waited for a break in the rain. Everyone tip toed around for a few laps before Webber ran wide on turn 7, hit the wall and as he crossed the track backwards, collected Rosberg. Which left Vettel behind yet another safety car ahead of Alonso then Hamilton, Schumacher and Massa
Once they’d cleared Webber and Rosberg off the track we had a bit more racing. Until Buemi tried to take out first Kovalainen then Glock before ending up beached on the kerbing minus a wheel and several areo bits. Hamilton managed to jump Alonso for 2nd as the pack pitted during the safety car, but once it all got going again he overcooked the first turn and let Alonso back into an important 2nd place. And that looked like being it for the rest of the day. Sutil attempted to hit both of the Saubers with some horrendous overtaking moves. Actually you’d struggle to call them overtaking manoeuvres, they were more like desperate lunges at non existent holes in an embarrassing attempt to look like a bankable driver for next year. What he ended up looking like was an arse.

Then suddenly Lady Luck got tired of sitting in the rain and gloom at Redbull and wondered off to see if their was any free champagne down at the Ferrari hospitality rooms. The Engine of Vettel gave a rather strangled cry and blow a couple of Renault pistons out the side of the block, depositing a large quantity of oil, water and chunks of metal down the straight until he ground to a halt. There you go nine poles and 3 wins so far this year. It didn’t look like a particularly tough circuit for engines this one, especially in the rain where they’re nowhere near caning it on the twisty bits. Lady luck was then to be seen getting slightly tipsy in the back of the Ferrari garage as Alonso cruised off into the growing darkness, followed by Hamilton who was struggling on very used rubber and Massa who was taking it very carefully in 3rd.

Schumacher didn’t hit anyone this time out and made it to 4th ahead of Kubica who couldn’t live up to any of his hype in 5th.

Liuzzi slipped and slithered where his team mate couldn’t and ended up in 6th ahead of Barrichello who struggled for a long time on used tires to grab 7th and was thankful that it was all over.

Kobayashi had a more subdued race than last time, a few brave moves but the kamikaze stuff was left to the Torro Rosso and Force India boys this week. He picked up 8th mostly by luck and not hitting anything.

Behind his team mate and out of a job next year already, Heidfeld did alright but it was nothing special in 9th. Mostly he just avoided getting clouted but Sutil.

Hulkenberg the soon to be ex Williams F1 driver if rumours are to be believed was 10th after a late tire change as he’d ran the rubber down to the canvas. I’ve not been overly impressed with the lad, he’s not delivered when given the opportunity and Barrichello 200 years his senior has shown him the way home too often.

Other notable exits, Petrov had a big one into the final corner and his seat might not be a safe as he though it was. Unless he can come up with a whole shed load of used tenners, he may well be fighting it out with the Virgin and HRT boys for a seat for next year.

With so many so called worlds best drivers and Trulli cocking around in the wet, Kovalainen comes home ahead of Both of the HRT boys. Okay the lotus was a lap down and the HRT’s two laps back but they finished when the Redbulls didn’t and you have to give them some credit for that.

So the Red machine profits from Redbulls double retirement and Alonso now leads the drivers championship. If you consider that he was 47 points behind the lead half way through the season, you have to consider him as one of the favourites now. He’s taken the most points this half of the championship, the only fly in the ointment is the lack of engines he has left, with a slender 11 point lead over Webber it’s not over by any stretch of the imagination. Lady luck has could still change here mind yet.

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

And so it begins.

Apparently the track surface is already breaking up and will need relaying at least once. Expect gangs of Korea equivalent Irish navies to be patching the thing up on Sunday morning.

What a shower of shit !

This is all Bernies fault. We're only here to line Bernie and CVC's pocket and nobody wanted this race except them. There are hundreds of circuits around the world that could host an F1 race, but we're in South Korea at a circuit that the drivers can't even drive on.

it's a fucking joke.