Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Monza, will the boys play nicely this time ?

Nico has been allows to get up off the naughty step after having a really good think about what he’s done, any more of that sort of thing will lead to all tuck privileges being a removed and extra Latin vocab. Lewis has been cuffed about the ear and told to stop winding up Nico or he’ll be made to stand up in front of the parents at the end of term and explain himself.

The boys have been sat down and given a stiff talking too. Just like they had after Bahrain .. and Canada … and Hungary … and now Spa. Any more of this sort of thing is going to have consequences. The word is Nico has even been seen walking form the headmasters office with a ginger step and a sudden dislike of sitting on hard surfaces. Oh the joys of inter-team rivalry, an all new and interesting game for the Mercedes management.

It's my turn to win , no its mine, mine, mine ,mine

You’d think Paddy Lowe an ex McLaren employee would know how to deal with two spikey team mates wouldn’t you! Alright he wasn’t there for the Senna v Prost title fight years. But he’s stood next to Big Ron and seen how you lay the smack down on the two numbskulls driving into each other. Lauda, Who witnessed at first-hand how il Commendatore would warn the drivers that the cars and points were more important than they ever were, should be able to knock some sense into these two. But week after week, Nico get the luck and the points, Lewis drives is heart out and puts the moves on Nico.

Mercedes have invested a whole shed load and possibly an out building or two of cash into winning the championship this year. They’d thought about the engine design for a good couple years unlike Renault who were a bit late to the table. When they snaffled Lewis from under Ron’s nose, it was with the promise that Mercedes WERE going to win the 2014 title. The board of directors wobbled a bit when Schumacher didn’t turn up to really appear to care about this return but they kept the faith and now it’s all going to pay off.

As long, and this is the only bit they can’t really control, the drivers do what they are paid to do and not throw it all away with hissy fits, stupid mind games and pissing competitions. Redbull are not as surmised at the start of the season, a pile of shit. That car has won three times now and Danny looks like he can easily do it again. He’s not fazed joining the big league and Vettel looks like he’s counting down the days till his contract ends now.  

Mercedes are in very real danger of fumbling this if they don’t keep a lid on Nico and Lewis growing animosity. The next one to cock the plan up might well find themselves sitting out the next race and thus waving goodbye to their championship party plans. Mercedes have to win the constructors and drivers title to justify all that cash and two nitwit drivers aren’t going to stop that happing.

Speculation about Alonso’s future plans have notched up a gear with Alonso saying “I want to win for Ferrari, I want to win here and finish the job that we started some years ago and we will see what the future comes” which to anyone who as ever witness a premiership manager in full flow, knows it’s akin to standing there and saying, “I’ve told you how much you’re going to have to pay me Mr rival team owner,  it’s up to you now!!”

The word is a failed attempt to bag the Redbull seat last year has turned into a dance with Big Ron over the new McLaren Honda seat next year. Despite having a contract with Ferrari until 2016, most people think he’ll be somewhere else before 2017. Just for his sanity if nothing else, he’s pretty much got the weight of expectation of all of Italy on his shoulders at the moment, dragging a crap car to the front year after year and people just start expecting you to drive whatever turd they pass in January. He wants a solid gold winner now and no one can see Ferrari making one of them these days.

So we are being treated to Alonso dancing around the question of his future, Ferrari trying to appear laid back and cool about its star driver, whilst at the same time desperate to either keep him or pin Vettel down to a contract he may or may not have already signed. McLaren are flouncing around like a love sick English lit undergrad on a weekend break in Venice with his chum Miles, trying to appear comely and slightly flirtatious but not actually coming out and saying,” let’s try again, you big hunk of manliness, take me!”. Meanwhile the F1 media circus, like a rapid pack of One direction fans,  is watching all of this and working itself up into a quivering lather of expectation.

I think he’ll announce a deal with McLaren for 2016 and sit next year out. Vettel will suddenly announce he does indeed have a Ferrari meal deal and join the Scuderia in 2015, Kvyat will get the nod for the then vacant seat at Redbull and some other foetus will be drafted in to learn the ropes at Torro Rosso. Jenson will get one more year at McLaren and Kev will get to keep his seat.

Or something else will happen ;)

Looking towards the back of the grid, Lotterer appears to be getting another run with Caterham this weekend at Monza. He did alright in Spa, he certainly didn’t disgrace himself, buy clearly the car is a pile of shit and the rumour that the receivers will be called in before the end of the season, might have some validity to them. There is no chance on God’s green earth they are going to get any points this year unless something amazing happens. So there’s going to be no prize money for next year, which might just have saved them.

Also looking a bit iffy are Marussia, the Max is he isn’t he driving in Spa story appears to be linked to the rumour that Aon, the company that Chiltons father owns, is going to buy the last of the shares in the team and take full ownership. Max getting kicked out of the car on Friday looks like a broadside from the current owners over Aons bows to get them to hurry up with the purchase of the shares before it all goes tits up and the Russian mafia busts in to get its money back.

In the good old days the back markers would turn up for a bit of a laugh and bask in a bit of reflected glory form the likes of Fangio, Moss and Hawthorn. Now its desperate battle to keep the cheques from bouncing and fighting off the creditors.

I give it two years before Caterham, Marussia and  Sauber have gone to the wall and the four top teams are running three car teams. And the likes of Force India and Williams are customer car teams. In 10 years … it’ll be spec cars and a choice of two engines.

Okay, enough fun, Monza this weekend.

Mercedes could well be in a straight fight with Williams here. This is the circuit the plucky English team is going to pull all the stops out for.  I don’t think they can challenge for the pole, but one of the white cars will be on the front row and if Merc have any sort of problem a Williams will win. The Williams twitter and face books pages have all exuding a quiet confidence this past week, I think they might have the belief to nail it and put the first female team owner on the podium with her boys. If it happens I’ll be cheering for them and a manly tear may appear when I get a little bit of dust in my eye as they sing the national anthem.

Don’t expect Ferrari to feature near the top ten, the Prancing pony press office has been flapping around all week trying play down any chance they have. The car is not going to be fast enough and could well be out of the top ten entirely.

As for the rest, Force India in the top five, Danny best of the rest, Jenson to continue the fair well tour and Kev to impress a few more with his speed and ability to swerve around dangerously.  

Saturday is also my birthday, so I shall have a large glass of red wine as I sit down to watch Lewis take pole.

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